


asylum

by imtuanshook



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Anger Management, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Previous rape, Self Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempts, anorexic bambam, mark was gang raped, previous gang rape, ptsd mark, schizophrenic yugyeom, side 2jae, side Yugbam, therapist jinyoung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2019-06-29 21:03:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 60
Words: 41,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15737298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imtuanshook/pseuds/imtuanshook
Summary: jackson wang, grieving the recent death of his mother. is admitted to a mental institution where he meets a recovering, very anxious boy named mark.





	1. Chapter 1

_"jackson?"_  a feminine voice at the head of the car called, jackson still giving no response. she turned to face the backseats, a light shy escaping her as jackson's gaze was still caught down on the box in hand. 

"you brought two change of clothes right?" she called gently, avoiding the possibility of eye contact with the younger. "and you took the laces out of your shoes and hoodies?" jackson nodded slowly, his eyes still forced down. 

 _"okay"_  his aunt mumbled softly, opening the car door to pull herself out of the seat. she rounded to the backseat, opening the door for jackson. he sat momentarily, still gazing down at the assortment of pictures, and books piled on top of clothes. 

only stepping out of the car when his aunt lightly tugged at his arm, staring at the giant buildings ahead of them. the path only dimly lit by the streetlights, although once approaching the designated building the night was barely visible. 

she opened one of the doors, jackson entering and trailing behind her. her stumbling apologies towards the women at the desk masked by jackson's own thoughts. he listened to their muffled conversation, his aunt turning to look at him. 

"i'll come visit" she said softly, although jackson knew better then that. the carride was hours long, and his aunt had barely made it through this trip. he only nodded back at her, tuning out her reminders of what he was suppose to bring, confirming everything on her list.

she bit into her bottom lip, forcing a smile to curl her lips. "i love you" she said quietly, jackson giving no response as she directed him to follow the women ahead of them. jackson listened to the tune of her timid footsteps trailing out the door behind him. 

jackons fingertips tightly curled around the box, pressing it to his chest as he followed the women greeting him through a series of doors. it hadn't been at all what jackson expected, tranquility consuming the halls. 

he had expected screaming throughout the ward, despite the peace of the halls there was a melaconly sunk over him. as if a storm cloud still sat above him, brewing.

his aunt had given him long lectures about why she thought the all male facility would be better for him, although he knew better then to believe her excuses. she knew how jackson saw her face in every women, how it would only worsen his situation. 

the women led him into a small room, directing him to place his box on the counter. the men that stood behind the counter greeting the pair, jackson knew the warm smiles plastered against their lips were forced.

they rummaged through the box, taking care around the photos. ensuring all the clothing had the laces removed, continuing to scan the items making sure they fit the standards. jackson took the box back into hand, a small smile curling his lips as he noticed the photos delicately placed on top of the rest of the items. 

the women led him out of the small room, guiding him through a door. the room was quite large, filled with upmost to thirty people. all of their attention drawn to jackson the moment they heard the doors close and lock. 

their attention quickly diverted back to the things they were doing amoungst themselves, jackson's gaze drawn to the presumed doctor approaching the pair. "hello" he greeted jackson soflty, dismissing the nurse behind them. 

"i'm jinyoung, i'm going to be the one working with you" he hummed gently, guiding jackson past the people sprawled across the room. the man didn't dress like a doctor, much less a therapist. his white dress shirt neatly collared around his neck, the first two buttons undone. non-the-less his shirt still tucked into his jeans, the sleeves of his shirt rolled to his elbows. 

"you'll have a roommate, but he isn't in his room right now" he guided jackson to one of the doorless rooms. a bed on either side, one side decorated with a few pictures taped to the wall, books resting on a shelf by the small barred window.

jackson placed his box on the empty bed, still not saying a word to the man leaned against the door frame behind him. "would you like to tape those up?" jinyoung said softly, watching jackson take 4 photos into hand. 

"yes" jackson finally spoke, his voice low, raspiness seeping through his tone. jinyoung nodded, disappearing for a few moments to return back with tape in hand. he stood at the end of the bed, ripping off pieces of tape to hand to the younger. 

not bothering to start a conversation as he knew the likely hood of jackson responding was slim. "its getting late, but they allow them to stay out of their rooms rather late. you should join them" jinyoung smiled, although already knowing jackson's answer. 

he handed the last piece of tape to jackson, waving him a small goodbye before rounding the corner out of the room. jackson collapsed onto the bed, facing the wall as he laid down. he traced his finger tips along the pictures of his mother taped to the wall. 

_"i hope you come see me soon"_


	2. Chapter 2

jacksons dark lashes fanned his skin, blinking his eyes open to the light illuminating the room through the small window. he turned to his other side, only to be greeted by the same emptiness of the room. 

a small sigh escaping him, pulling himself off the bed gazing at his clothes taken from his box and neatly folded on the shelves. his books laid next to the others on another shelf. the box sat on the other bed on the wall, small pieces of clothing tucked into it.

before jackson had a chance to approach the box, a light shuffling behind him took his attention. jerking his head back to the figure that stood against the door frame.

"hi!" he chirped, instantly approaching jackson. "i cleaned out your stuff for you" he brought his hands behind his back, swaying himself back and forth. "you wanted the box?" a puzzled expression consuming jackson. 

the smaller figure mumbled a light 'mhm' before taking the box to hand "i needed it for my cat" he hummed. pulling a stuffed cat from the box, the eyes had been taken out, replaced by small x's sewn over them.

"oh" jackson unintentionally letting a small smile out, making his way back to his bed. "do you wanna come sit with us?" the figure chirped gently, taking the cat plushie into his clutches. "most people stay in their rooms the first few days, it isn't good" 

jackson gazed back at the small frown plastered against the boys face, reluctantly agreeing. "whats your name?" he asked gently, the figure motioning for him to stand up from his bed and follow him. 

"youngjae" he hummed softly, crossing his arms to press the plushie to his chest. "you're jackson, right?" jackson nodding back, trailing behind the figure as he lead him into the large room ahead of them.

"they told me i'd get a roommate, i've wanted one for a long time" youngjae stopped to scan the room for his friends, pointing in a direction for jackson to follow. "it gets lonely sometimes" jackson's gazed wandered to the atleast 30 people spread across the room.

"this is jackson!" youngjae smiled brightly at the 4 people seated ahead of them. he brought jackson to stand in front of him, tightening his arms around his plushie in his clutches. youngjae took a seat on the couch placed behind the table. three figures sat in chairs around the table whilst the other curled into the end of the couch. 

"hes new, right?" one giggled lightly, looking up from the cards in his hand. "yeah" jackson mumbled, the same figure patting the seat of the chair next to him. jackson took a seat next to him, welcomed by a series of warm smiles.

"do you wanna play with us?" he said, extending the cards to jackson's hand. "i'm okay, thank you"although jackson couldn't pinpoint exactly what game they were playing, he wouldn't have wanted to join either way.

"i'm yugyeom" he smiled, unintentionally scrunching his nose in the process. "that's bambam" he pointed to the figure sat next to him. the boy dashing a quick peace sign before resuming back to his cards.

"that's jb" he continued, pointing across the table, the figure gazed up from his cards for a  moment. forcing a smile across his face before looking back down to the cards in hand.

"you know youngjae, and that's mark" he said softly, turning completely around in his seat to point to the smaller figure curled into the couch. although while the rest wore jeans, he was the only one wearing black leggings. 

jackson presumed it was against the rules, considering it was a male facility he didn't think of it being in the guidelines. thought the fact he was wearing leggings hadn't mattered much, as the large sweater he was wearing fell nearly just above his knees. 

his sweater covered hands brought to his face, not gazing up at the mention of his name. yugyeom visibly bit into his cheek for a moment, turning back to face the table. "do you like it so far?" he questioned softly, ensuing a small bit of chatter from the pair. 

their conversation only cut short by the sound of bambam abruptly jumping from his chair. "i have to use the bathroom" he mumbled, yugyeom's hand latching to his wrist before he could pull away.

"no" yugyeom said quietly, not loosening his grip around the other's wrist. "i have to pee!" bambam said, raising his tone. gaining the attention of a few people around the room. "then i'll go with you" 

bambam exhaled lightly, sinking back into his chair with his arms folded over one another. "fine" he mumbled. "fine" yugyeom cheerfully mumbled back, placing a few more cards in front of bambam. 

jackson tuned out their muffled conversation, only tuning back in when he heard youngjae's voice. the rest seemingly to engulffed in their conversation to notice youngjae scooting closer to mark. 

"do you wanna hold sebastian?" he said softly, holding the cat plush in front of the small figure. jackson watched as mark brought his sweater covered sleeves from his face, wrapping them around the cat plush. 

youngjae quickly leaned in to wipe the tears streaming down the small figures cheeks. mark quickly burying his face into the plushie as youngjae scooted back down the couch, rejoining the groups conversation.

"you missed breakfast, but its okay because lunch is soon" youngjae chirped at jackson, attempting to wander his gaze away from mark. jackson nodded, staring back at the table ahead of him. watching the small frown against yugyeom's lips as he gazed up at bambam.


	3. Chapter 3

"is he okay?" jackson asked softly, walking next to youngjae as they trailed to the common room to eat. "mark?" youngjae chuckling at the fact the first time jackson had made conversation, it was about mark.

"i dont know, but i'm sure he'll be okay" youngjae reassured him, directing him to the table his friends sat at. jackson took a seat next to youngjae, their food having already been placed out for them. 

jackson scanned the room, nurses sat amoungst the room to watch although most of them reading. muffled chatter echoing across the walls, jackson bringing his gaze back to the table. his eyes instantly locked onto mark, his sweater covered hands still tightly wound around the cat plush in his arms. 

his knees brought to his chest, the cat plush filling the space between his knees and chest. he kept his face buried in the plushies head, ignoring the food in front of him. youngjae leaned against his shoulder gently, mark flinched at his sudden presence. 

jackson let out a light exhale, wandering his gaze to the rest of the group seated in front of him. yugyeom tore off a small piece of bread, pressing it to bambam's lips. the older quickly rejecting it, jerking his face away.

"Bam please eat" yugyeom pleaded, bambam only responding by pushing his tray away. "i did eat some" bambam scoffed. yugyeom let out a drawn out sigh, reaching his hand into bambam's front pocket, feeling the food pushed into them.

"this is what you call eating?" yugyeom breathed softly, his voice barely that of a whisper although still able to be made out by jackson and the rest seated around them. "i'm not hungry" bambam folding his arms over once another, forcing his gaze down to the ground. 

"please eat" yugyeom desperately pleaded, "if you keep losing weight they'll send you away" tears already swelling in the corners of his brown-mahogany orbs. a glint of despair only going noticed by the hazel that rimmed his iris. 

"bam i━i dont want you to get sent away" yugyeom's breathes slowly becoming unsteady, bambam's arms unfolding the moment he noticed his shallow breathes. "hey its okay" bambam taking the bread from his hand. 

"i'm eating, see?" he said softly, opening his mouth in proof he had eaten it. yugyeom nodded slowly, relaxing back into his seat as he continued to watch bambam eat. jackson made no comment, only looking at the sheer misery in bambam's eyes as he bit into each piece. 

yugyeom laced their fingers beneath the table, only going noticed by jackson. his breathes steadying as bambam's thumb continued to brush against his. youngjae pulled himself from mark's shoulder, jackson to caught up in the display of affection in front of him to notice youngjae calling for him. 

"are you okay?" youngjae asked worriedly, grabbing jackson's attention. "you haven't eaten" a visible frown spreading across his lips. jackson hurriedly shoving food into his mouth, "i was just thinking" 

"about bam?" youngjae whispered, the pair ahead of them to consumed in each other to notice the mention of bambam's name. jackson let out a small nod, youngjae pressing food to his lips. "he'll be okay, he has yugyeom" youngjae said soothingly, yugyeom still feeding the older. 

"and i have jb" youngjae squealed a bit, making a quick kiss to his boyfriend seated across the table. jackson sat in wonder as to why youngjae had chosen to sit with him instead of his boyfriend, but didn't question it. assuming youngjae had wanted to make him feel less lonely. 

"who does mark have?" jackson unable to resist the temptation to ask the question, luckily not gaining anyone's attention. "oh" youngjae mumbled, gazing at jb before turning his head back to jackson. 

"mark doesn't really like to be touched, and he doesn't talk much" youngjae admitted, jb visibly biting into his bottom lip as he could assume what the two were talking about. "i actually had a question" youngjae admitted, a puzzling look gracing jackson's features.

"jb shares a room with mark right now and i really wanna room with him.." youngjae mumbled against jackson's shoulder. as jackson could already see the direction this conversation was going. "will you switch rooms with jb? we'll help you move all your stuff and even tape your photos up for you" 

youngjae continued to plead, practically begging at the older's shoulder. "sure" jackson said softly, interrupting youngjae's muffled promises. "yay!" youngjae squealed, earning the attention of everyone at the table. 

"sorry, sorry" youngjae giggled, waving his hand down. youngjae clattered their trays together in excitement, cleaning up after everyone hurriedly to rush to gather jackson's things. youngjae led jackson back to their shared room, pulling a different box from under his bed.

"you already had a box?" jackson questioned, youngjae's soft giggles subsiding the melancholic sensation pervading the room. "i liked yours more, i'll trade you" youngjae held the box up to his arms, in which jackson welcomed. 

youngjae carefully tossed jackson's clothes into the box, placing his books ontop the folded clothing. he perched himself across jackson's bed, delicately pulling the photos from the wall. he placed them on top the books, taking care which each individual one. 

"thank you, thank you, thank you!" youngjae chirped as he led jackson towards jb's shared room, greeting his boyfriend with a peck on his cheek. 'so this is why he wanted a roommate so bad, so he could swap' jackson mumbled in his thoughts, masking the romantic actions between the pair. 

jackson stood outside the room, box still in hand as jb came out the room, youngjae trailing out soon after. "thank you" jb whispered, presumably so mark wouldn't hear their conversation. "hes a nice roommate, hes really quiet you won't even notice he's there" jb reassured him before the pair made their way back to their new room. 

jackson rounded the corner into the doorless room, placing his box gently against the bed before turning to the other wall. mark was tightly curled beneath his blankets, his back facing the wall as he snuggled into cat plushie. 

his blonde hair messily placed across his face, his cheeks still tainted with red hues from the tears that had streamed down his cheeks. despite that, jackson couldn't help but mumble a quick 'cute' to himself as he gazed at the large sweater sleeve hanging from mark's shoulder. the collar of the sweat shirt falling just beneath his collarbones. 

jackson sat in awe at how his collarbones perfectly perched from his flawless porcelain skin. the sweater sleeves still curled around his finger tips. 'very very cute' jackson mumbled to himself.


	4. Chapter 4

jackson let out a breathy sigh, dim light illuminating his face through the small window. the room light still off, he turned to his side, noticing mark still curled beneath his blankets. he pulled himself from the bed, swinging his legs over the edge before taking to his feet. 

he rummaged through the box placed next to his bed, retaping his photos to the wall in a small square. he pulled the already folded clothes from the box, placing them on the shelf beneath mark's things.

jackson unable to force his gaze away from the single shelf mark's items consumed. as he could assume mark only wore leggings, hoodies and sweaters. jackson took the few books he had and placed them on top his clothes, leaving the light off as he trailed out the room.

jackson pondered on his thoughts. wondering as to how mark could possibly bare wearing thick clothing, when the rooms were so warm. jackson, barely able to bare the t-shirt he had on, tucked neatly beneath his jeans. 

his thoughts abruptly interrupted by a gentle tapping on his shoulder. jerking his head back to youngjae who had been following behind his slow walking pace. "do you wanna sit with us again today?"

jackson let out a slow nod, youngjae's words barely made out through his masked thoughts. youngjae led him back to the large room, still decorated with people sat amoungst it. although not as many as it was still a bit early.

youngjae staying only a small space in front of jackson, directing him to the same table before although the couch empty. the group still playing cards, although appearing to be playing a different game. youngjae sat at the end of the couch near them, jackson following soon after.

"he doesn't wanna sit next to me anymore" yugyeom pouted sorrowfully. jackson not being able to tell as to if he was truly upset or not, quickly jumping in the seat next to him. the frown disappearing from yugyeom's lips, giving his attention back to the cards in front of him.

"what are you guys playing?" youngjae hummed, leaning his head to rest in his hand propped against the arm rest. "kind of like a drop and pick up card game" bambam chirped, earning a chuckle from yugyeom. 

"perfect explanation bam" yugyeom giggled, picking another card up from the table. youngjae only shrugging his shoulders in jackson's direction. "okay, let me try again" bambam huffed.

"well basically" clicking his tongue mid sentence, "we pick certain cards before looking at ours, if we have that card we have to drop it, then whoever has the most cards wins" bambam finished his fragmented sentence. 

"so kind of like a game of pick up sticks, but with cards, and played by fucking lunatics" he said, silently celebrating his small victory at explaining. yugyeom sneakily lacing their fingers beneath the table, jackson appearing to be the only one taking notice. the others use to the small displays of affection. 

jackson wandered his gaze to jb, who still sat peacefully relaxed into his chair with cards in hand. he occasionally tossed one on the table, not tuning into the other's conversation much. jackson hadn't spoken at all, despite bambam and yugyeom's many attempts at conversation. 

"are you going to eat with us today?" yugyeom chirped, his question demanding a response. "sure" jackson finally croaked out, watching bambam's head fall at the mention of food. yugyeom's thumb brushing his barely visible under the table.

"i have a uh, question" a small cough escaping jackson mid sentence. yugyeom letting out a light 'mhm' in his direction before looking up. "they let you guys date in here?" yugyeom chuckling at his question. 

"they don't really allow it, but jinyoung says if it helps us he doesn't mind" yugyeom curling against bambam's shoulder. "does it help?" jackson questioned, as to whether their relationship put more stress on them rather then good. 

"i don't dread waking up anymore" bambam said softly. a small smile curling his lips as yugyeom nuzzled his face into his shoulder. the rest just shocked jackson had said so many words, youngjae sitting on the couch such as that of a proud mom.

they continued playing their game, jackson joining in although very confused. bambam's 'wonderful' explanations according to yugyeom, not doing much help. "where's mark?" youngjae called gently, jb finally raising his head from the cards.

"therapy" jb hummed, only saying the necessary amount of words. bambam tugged on yugyeom's sleeve, mumbling a quick 'bathroom' before they both stood up. bambam happily trailing hand in hand with his boyfriend out the room.

"you like him?" youngjae said, a puzzling look gracing jackson's features. "mark, do you like mark?" he questioned again, leaning farther forward. "i don't know him" jackson shrugging his shoulders, forcing his eyes to the card in hand. 

"don't" jb mumbled under his breathe, youngjae's eyes rolling towards his boyfriend. "he isn't just some pretty thing you can look at and like, he isn't a toy" 

"and if you think you can just latch onto him like yugyeom latches on to bambam you're wrong" jb mumbly said, tossing his cards to the table gently. "he needs someone who actually cares, not someone trying to get over their own problems" 

"and you're right, you don't even know him. hes been through enough, he doesn't need someone going after him just because they think he's cute" jackson ignored the hypocrisy in his statement, smiling back as he nodded.

youngjae's muffled chirps changing the topic, glancing at the clock as he realized the time. "its almost time to eat, i'm gonna go get them" youngjae quickly jumping from the couch. rubbing his boyfriend's shoulder before leaving the two to walk together.

jb made no attempts at conversation, collecting the cards back into a box and placing them neatly on the table. jackson vaguely remembered the direction they were suppose to go, trailing behind jb. 

jackson assuming jb had thought he was upset with him due to his small outburst. jackson making small conversation with the other as they walked, not the least bit angry. although jb's words earlier had been a bit cruel, jackson saw the caring tone that had pervaded jb.


	5. Chapter 5

jackson sat in front of jb, still making small chatter as they waited for the rest of their group. jb's eyes instanlty spotted youngjae, his brown hair making him visible through the crowd. or perhaps jb's eyes naturally gravitating towards the younger.

youngjae appeared next to jb with a horrified look on his face, his mouth partially dropped. "that is not how you use the ' _bathroom_ '" youngjae mumbled, shivering in his chair. jb wrapping one arm around him as he chuckled.

jackson slowly catching on as he let out a small  _'oh'_  gazing back at the pair. youngjae nodding in disgust, "yeah,  _oh_ " youngjae scoffed. non-the-less still helping place their food out, clicking his tongue as the pair walked in the room. 

"everything come out okay?" jb asked, blinking his eyes in the pairs direction, a slight limp consuming bambam as he sat down. "yeah, yugyeom just had to stand outside" bambam huffed, reintertwining their fingertips as they sat down. 

"could you atleast lock the door next time?" youngjae scrunching his nose as he folded his arms on top one another. bambam attempting to choke out excuses, to no avail as he was only met with chuckles.

"sorry, sorry, sorry" yugyeom chirped, although he was not the least bit sorry. pulling off small pieces of food to press against bambam's lips. in which he accepted to prevent the older from having another melt down.

jackson muffled their chatter, ignoring the masked conversation as he scanned the room every few seconds. youngjae taking notice to his actions before pulling himself gently from his seat. "i'm gonna go ask them if i can get mark" he chirped softly.

the conversation behind jackson still muffled, only able to make out youngjae's argument with one of the nurses. most of their conversation hushly whispered until youngjae's shouts broke the silence.

"well you're opinion is wrong" he huffed, crossing his arms into which the nurse only rolled his eyes. youngjae's chance at another rebuttal cut short by jinyoung peering through the door. "whats wrong, jae?" he said softly, tenderness peaking through his tone. 

"they won't let me go get mark!" his shouts already grabbing the attention of everyone in the room, most choosing to ignore his tantrum. "you sit down, and i'll go get him. okay?" jinyoung hummed. giving the nurse a quick glare before rounding back around the corner.

youngjae huffed returning to his seat, leaning against jb's shoulder. "why are they asses for no reason?" he mumbled against his boyfriend's shoulder. yugyeom and bambam sinking back into their seats. 

youngjae continuing to curse under his breathe against jb's shoulder. jb attempting to soothe the grumpiness of his boyfriend, to no avail as it only made him mumble more. his angry rants about nurses being unfair droning on and on. only stopping when he heard jinyoung yelling for the nurses help minutes after his tantrum. 

jinyoung's shouting quickly turning to screaming, all but one nurse rushing from the room. youngjae turning back to the nurse in panic, practically throwing himself at them. youngjae's shouting overriding the panic from the bedrooms.

"he needs me and you didn't let me go!" youngjae's grip around the nurses collar far to much to overpower. jb barely ripping him off the man,  pulling him back against the table. youngjae's violent sobs muffled by his screams at the nurse. 

jb attempted to soothe him, the nurse and half the room included sitting back in horror. the nurse unable to leave the room as he was the only one left, letting out a silent prayer that all the patients weren't after him.

surprisingly all except youngjae remaining relatively calm. jackson sinking into his seat, a harsh reality of what was really happening around him slapping him across the face. jb finally taking control of youngjae, pleading with the nurse not to get him in trouble.

the nurse agreeing almost instantly, just as much terrified as much as everyone else in the room. "if you would've let me go none of this would've happened!" youngjae managed to spit out between jb's hand covering his mouth.

jb's one arm around his chest barely enough to restrain him. "could you maybe help me?" jb scoffed gazing at the terrified nurse. he attempted to assist him, youngjae only violently kicking when the man came in reach. 

bambam unraveled his fingetips from yugyeom's, torn between comforting his terrified boyfriend or assisting jb. ultimately choosing jb as yugyeom gave him a small nod, bambam rushing to the other side of the table.

"jae, mark has sebastian remember?" he cooed lightly, gently approaching youngjae's other side. "he would never let anything happen to mark, you know that" he said soothingly.  

bambam and jb spending the next hour attempting to calm youngjae, hoping their promises didn't backfire. jackson nearly falling asleep in his seat until jinyoung peered back through the door, motioning for the nurse to come to him. 

the nurse nodding as he leaned further towards him, their hushed whispers masked by the chatter of the room. all jackson able to make out was jinyoung asking if anyone had caused any problems. to which the man only shook his head. 

jinyoung exiting the room once more, the nurse directing them that they were to spend the rest of the day in their rooms. a few groans echoed from the walls, yugyeom and bambam nearly jumping in excitement.

jackson kept his space from the group, trailing off on his own to his room. only welcomed by the emptiness of it, mark's things still placed on the shelf although appearing to have been rearranged. his clothes messily scattered amoungst the shelves, as if they had been as little as thrown onto the shelf.

jackson's gaze caught onto the bed, stripped of its sheets and replaced with new ones. although a large dark spot barely made out beneath it. jackson pulled the pillows together, neatly pulling the blankets over them to cover the spot. 

he took all the items off the shelf, dusting it with his hand before refolding their clothes. placing their clothes folded neatly next to each other on the same shelf. placing the books from largest in size to smallest on the shelf beneath them. 

a sigh escaping his lips, plagued with the thoughts as to what had happened. attempting to deny the clear answer in his head, collapsing back onto his bed. strangely sleeping with his back facing the wall, gazing at the empty bed ahead of him


	6. Chapter 6

three days had passed, going onto the fourth as it was barely time for them to go into their rooms. despite the curfew the nurses still allowed them to stay up late as long as they kept quiet. 

three days of jackson's inevitable silence. his days spent only that of bambam and yugyeom trying to cheer the others up. jackson's silence remained, playing his game of cards with the three. youngjae still sat in his spot on the couch, although his chirpiness rarely peaking through. 

youngjae kept his knees to his chest, sebastian having been returned to his room without a word from jinyoung. he cradled the small plush, allowing the lavender scent of mark to consume him. jackson tossed his cards on the table, ignoring bambam's pouts and accusations of being a cheater. 

"i demand a rematch" he sulked, his boyfriend lacing their fingers together. "we can play one more, okay?" yugyeom hummed gently, jackson and jb rolling their eyes in unison. they piled their cards in the middle, equally diving them once more before resuming the game. 

bambam demanded rematches until the only light dimming the room was the tv as the rest had been turned off. one of the nurses flipping through a newspaper sat in a corner, occasionally glancing up to make sure no one had caused mischief. his glance always take care to notice bambam, as he always seemed to be the trouble maker.

bambam's hickory eyes scintillated with a mischievous intent, only going noticed by jackson. the older choosing to remain silent, flipping through his cards. bambam about to take to his feet when he heard the dinging and slamming of the double doors ahead of the room. 

youngjae practically leaping from his seat the moment he noticed mark led in by one of the nurses. still dressed in the same black leggings, perfectly matching the large black hoodie that fell to his thighs. the sleeves of the hoodie hung over his hands, perfectly contrasting the porcelain skin beneath them.

his blonde hair messily placed across his face, cheeks flushed with crimson hues. "mark!" youngjae shouted, rushing over to the younger, only jb's instant grip around him stopping him. mark's slightly parted lips unable to force a smile across them, barely gazing up. 

jb stepping up from his seat to guide his boyfriend back to the couch. youngjae managing to shout a quick  _'i love you'_  to mark before jb hushed him. watching as the nurse guided him back to his room, understandably wanting to be alone.

yugyeom let out a small cough, attempting to divert the attention back to their game. his plan working for a few minutes, until youngjae had tuned in on the conversation of the group sitting a few feet from them. 

"he was gone for three days" one mumbled, the others nodding in agreement. "suicide watch" two answered in unison. jb's hand rubbing circles around his boyfriend's back, to focused on the game to notice where youngjae's gaze locked.

"how do you think he did it?" one hummed softly, attempting not to grab anyone's attention. "i heard he used some kind of lotion bottle cap" another shrugged. "so now their gonna take lotion away because the kid tried to kill himself?" 

"thats all you care about? fucking lotion?" youngjae hissed, attempting to jump from jb's grasp to no avail. "he tried to kill himself and all you care about is  _fucking lotion_ " youngjae shouted, the nurse's to preoccupied to notice their argument. 

"we have to suffer because he can't deal with his panic attacks?" one scoffed, the other trying to shush him. "you don't understand how he feels" youngjae quickly rebuttal-ed, still squirming angrily in jb's lap. 

"i'm pretty sure we all know what anxiety feels like, jae" he rolled his eyes turning back to face his friends. his attention reverted back to youngjae's shouts. "no you don't, stop acting like you know him!"   

"yes i do know how he feels" the boy said quickly jerking his head back, purposely irritating the younger. "you don't!" youngjae screamed this time, jb attempting to muffle his shouts. "yes. i . do" he chuckled back, emphasizing his words.

"you were never fucking gang raped!" youngjae instantly regretting the words the moment they escaped him. jb visibly gulping as he pulled youngjae from the couch, dragging him to their room. bambam and yugyeom appearing just as confused as jackson, asking questions up until jb was out of sight. 

the boy sat amoungst his friends, his mouth still dropped at the remark. dropping his head into his palms, "jb said he had anxiety.." yugyeom mumbled to himself. the pair obviously not knowing mark that well. 

bambam began to ask a fragmented sentence, cut off by the demands of the nurses telling them to go their rooms. likely due to youngjae's outburst, jackson could hear the pairs hushed conversation as he walked past jb and youngjae's shared room. 

jb's tone a mixture of angry, yet soothing as he hushly scolded his boyfriend. jackson making no attempts to make out the conversation.  bracing himself as he came to his room, already hearing the stifled sobs that escaped the room. 

jackson contemplating whether or not to beg for the nurse to allow him to sleep on the couch in the main room. despite his thoughts still forcing himself to round around doorless room corner.

the room almost completely dark, the lights fed from the hallway dimly illuminating the room. jackson stood in the door frame, the blankets messily pulled over mark as he curled into himself against the wall. 

jackson listened to the near silent sobs wrecking his body, visibly trembling beneath the blanket. his pale skin perfectly contrasted the black sheets beneath him, the hoodie sleeves still largely covering his hands brought to his face. 

jackson barely remembering a fragmented sentence of the hushed conversation he had heard. only being able to make out youngjae begging for jb to allow him to talk to mark. demanding the fact that mark would need sebastian to comfort him. 

he let out a shaky exhale, masked by marks shallow breathes. he made his way over to his shelf, pulling one of his hoodies from the beneath the clothes. mark flinched at the sudden presence of jackson's arm on his bed. 

'shh' jackson whispered soothingly, taking a step back from the bed to give mark his space. "youngjae wanted to give you his cat, but they wouldn't let him" he continued to whisper softly, marks breathes still unsteady. 

"its not much, but if you want to you can hold this" he hummed gently, placing the hoodie on the edge of his bed. "my mom had given it to me, it helped me. i hope it helps you" he pulled himself up and back to his bed. 

laying on his side to face mark, despite the pictures behind him. he watched mark's hand shakily reach for the hoodie. jackson catching a glimpse of his dark lashes brimmed with tears, fanning his skin as he buried his face back into the hoodie. 

he curled his arms tightly around it, wincing in pain at the pressure on his wrists. jackson going unnoticed by the younger as he sat in awe. his sobs subsiding muffled into the hoodie, jackson drifting to sleep soon after he assumed mark had due to the quietness that pervaded the room. 


	7. Chapter 7

jackson awoke to a light shuffling beside his bed, blinking his eyes open to mark placing a hoodie on his bed. he flinched at jackson's sudden movement's, his timid footsteps trailing back to his bed. 

he rubbed his eye groggily before looking down at the hoodie folded next to him. mark already hidden beneath his duvets facing his wall.  jackson swung his legs off the edge of the bed, taking the hoodie to hand. 

"do you wanna keep it?" he whispered, keeping his distance from the other. squinting his eyes at the light aiming through the small window. "you don't have to give me anything, i want you to have it" he continued, gently placing the hoodie on the side of his bed. 

jackson hurriedly looked to his shelf, pulling on one of his decent white dress shirts. somehow managing to keep it tidy on the shelf, tucking it into his jeans. he glanced back at mark, the hoodie now presumably curled underneath the blankets with him.  

a soft exhale escaping him as he heard mark's stifled sobs, fixing the collar of his shirt. he readjusted the buttons, making his way out the room quietly as he thought it would be best to give mark his space. 

he shoved his hands into his pockets, heavy foot steps making their way from the room. greeted by the same group at the table, yugyeom pulling jackson into the seat next to him. "your socks match!" bambams mouth dropped, staring at jackson's feet.

"they're just black" yugyeom huffed, a puzzling look gracing jackson's features as he watched the two nod at each other. "see ours are mix matched, but WE match" bambam exclaimed, propping his foot up on the table. 

the pair having on one of each of the same sock, one hearts while the other dotted. bambam jokingly waved the heart covered foot in his boyfriend's face. "cute" jackson mumbled to himself, taking the cards jb tossed in front of him.

"what do you wanna play?" jb hummed lightly, gazing at youngjae seated on the couch. his boyfriend's eyes glued to the floor. "lunatic pick up sticks" bambam giggled, tossing the cards into a pile in the middle. 

"babe you can't make up another game?" yugyeom pouted, leaning onto the older's shoulder. "well, if it makes you call me babe more, then sure" bambam resting his head against yugyeom's. 

bambam went on to explain his butchered game. the group not fully understanding the game, although yugyeom still praised his boyfriend for his 'wonderful' explanation. jackson only following along as to what bambam did. 

their confused game interrupted by youngjae's small gasp. "just treat him like you normally would" jb mumbled, jerking his head back at jinyoung leading mark into the room. youngjae would've jumped from his seat if not for jb attempting to calm him. 

"when did he get that hoodie?" yugyeom chirped quietly, forcing jackson's gaze up from his cards. "i gave him one of mine last night" jackson hummed, placing another card in front of him. 

"he let you?" jb nearly scoffing, his questions cut short by jinyoung's presence ahead of the table. he led mark to sit on the couch, watching as mark tugged the hoodie sleeves further over his hands. 

"jackson" jinyoung said, a smile curling his lips. "we have our first group therapy tomorrow, i hope you join us" beaming another smile before trailing to the other side of the room. presumably speaking with the group that caused youngjae's outburst. 

"he makes group therapy sound scarier then it is" youngjae said quietly. "tomorrow is garden, you might like it" continuing his fragmented sentence. his eyes sorrowfully caught on mark curled into the other side of the couch. 

jb's shuffling from his seat pervading the groups silence. he gently placed himself next to mark, although keeping his distance. "please sit with us, you don't have to play, just sit" he said quietly, only able to be made out by their small group. 

jackson's eyes finally able to meet mark's as he pulled his head up. letting out a soft nod, jb leading him back to the table. it wasn't the color of his eyes that were so breath taking to jackson, although they did play a part.

it was the brightness that shined through his heavy lids, his eyes bright despite his dark lashes brimmed with tears. jb pulled out the seat between jackson and youngjae whom was seated on the couch. 

jackson met once again with mark's light sapphire eyes. up until this moment, jackson had always believed glacier eyes to be cold. yet all those thoughts had faded, seemingly disappearing. 

he now knew the strength between the myriad shades of blue gazing back at him. jackson now knowing that the strongest, warmest fires burned blue beneath his blinking azure orbs. his enchantingly delicate gaze meeting jackson's for a moment. 

mark's eyes blinking back down, pulling the hoodie sleeves further over his hands. pressing them to his face as he let the black cherry scent of jackson consume him.


	8. Chapter 8

jackson rolled his eyes at bambam's pouts, still winning the game despite his best efforts to lose. "how do you ALWAYS find a way to cheat" bambam huffed, emphasizing the always. "maybe because he doesn't cheat?" youngjae replied dramatically. 

"babe i'm right, aren't i?" bambam turning to help from his boyfriend. yugyeom looked to both his sides, surrounded by his friends persuading him to sway their way. "such a cheater" smiling up at his boyfriend, tracing his fingertip along bambam's thumb. 

jackson tuned out their argument, only queing in to youngjae turning to jb for help. his gaze much more fixed on marks hands trembling beneath his sleeves. the fear practically traveling through mark's veins. although the youngest doing a fair job at hiding it. 

his complexion the same porcelain, eyes cloudy yet somehow steady on the table. his hands shakily folded in his lap the only thing exposing his fear. only breaking his steadiness when bambam jumped from his seat, shaking the table.

mark letting out a soft whimper at the tables sudden movements. bambam stumbling over apologies the moment he noticed what he had done. "i really, like really really have to pee" bambam whined, tugging at yugyeom's shirt sleeve.

"oh, your going to 'pee'?" youngjae tautly emphasizing his words, yugyeom unable to resist the smile curling his lips. "well actually we━" yugyeom's sentence fragmented by jb's interruption.

"don't you dare say such corrupting things when our baby is sitting right there" jb clicking his tounge in the direction of mark. whom only adorably tilted his head to the side, a confused look gracing his angelic features.

his blonde hair falling messily across his face enough to make jackson's heart flutter. "my back still hurts from the sink" bambam whined once more. promptly being drug off by his boyfriend before jb had the chance to yell at him for his comment.

"d━did he fall?" mark said softly, his voice barely that of a whisper. jackson melting in his seat to the gentleness of his voice. "yeah, he fell" jb biting into his lip, glancing at youngjae attempting to hold his chuckles back. 

mark let out a soft exhale, nodding slowly. jackson's eyes still latched onto his hands trembling into his lap. "we should go, jinyoung really wants jackson to garden therapy" youngjae chirped lightly. jumping from his seat to pull jb from his chair. 

youngjae wrapped his arm around jb's, the two not fond on holding hands. jackson delicately took a step back from mark, allowing him his space. jackson making it a point to walk beside him, trailing behind the couple ahead of them. 

"do you like it?" jackson hummed gently, mark gazing up at him adorably before nodding his head. the hoodie sleeves already draping from his hands, curling his fingertips around the hem. jb occasionally glancing back, shooting jackson dad-like death glares. 

jacksons heavy footsteps masking that of mark's light and timid ones. jb led them through the small crowd, only stopping once passing by the bathroom. a moan echoing off the bathroom walls, jb instantly jerking his head back at mark.

"he probably just fell again" jackson managed to choke out. mark's gaze once again caught on jackson's, the older attempting not to lose himself in the warmth of swirling emotion gazing up at him. 

jackson knowing if he dared to look past the indigo darts he would see the sadness spread amoungst his cloud eyes. mark's eyes scintillated with fear, only going noticed by the light that rimmed his iris. 

jackson savored each moment even in mark's presence. although barely knowing him, wanting to shower him in each small fact he did know. craving even the softness of his voice, coaxing small conversations every chance he got.

wanting to lace his fingers against mark's here and there. fighting the temptation of his emotions, stumbling over his thoughts at how to get to know him better. figuring he could just ask, although not wanting to appear to blunt.

he felt a gentle tug at the end of his dress shirt, stopping momentarily. "are you okay?" mark said softly, quivering jackson's heart on spot. even jb appearing shocked as he glanced back at the pair. 

jackson now receiving the deadliest of dad-like glares from jb. jackson let out a slow nod, curling his lips at the younger. once having the bravery to gaze up, locking his eyes with mark's. jackson now knew, that behind mark's glacier like orbs , the strongest of fires always bleed blue.


	9. Chapter 9

"why don't you and mark go ahead, jackson and i will get bam and yugyeom" jb said gently against youngjae's ear. youngjae nodding in agreement before pulling away from the older.

"mark, will you walk with me?" youngjae chirped, making his way to stand next to mark. "jb and jackson are just gonna get bam and yugyeom, they'll be right behind us" attempting to soothe mark's obvious anxiety. 

a soft sigh of anxiety leaping from mark's mouth before nodding slowly. jb waited till the two had turned the corner out of sight to lead jackson towards the bathrooms. silence only filling the space between them, jb knocking against one of the bathroom doors.

a light shuffle emitting from behind the door, followed by hushed whispers. "would you two stop fucking and hurry up please?" bambam giggling before swinging the bathroom door open. yugyeom still hurriedly trying to button his jeans next to the sink. 

"how'd you know this time?" bambam pouted, lacing his fingertips into yugyeom's to pull him out of the room. "try being quieter next time?" jb said sarcastically, rolling his eyes before stepping ahead of them. 

"mark thinks you fell on the sink, just pretend your back hurts" continuing his fragmented sentence. "i don't have to pretend about my back hurting" bambam giggled, earning a light smack on the shoulder for his remark. 

"bam i swear to god if you say some dirty shit around him" jb continued to scold him, only earning giggles back in return. "i'm gonna go change, we'll be there soon" bambam hummed, turning back to walk to their room not giving jb a chance to protest. 

jackson trailed behind jb, still remaining silent despite his many questions. jb pulling him to the side by his sleeve to prevent him from walking into a wall. "jackson?" he called, snapping him back into reality from his thoughts. 

"don't say i said anything but" jb visibly biting his bottom lip. "sometimes, when were at garden therapy yugyeom makes flowers for people, or 'customers' who aren't there" exhaling after his fragmented sentence. 

"just, if he does it try to ignore it" jb taking back to his footsteps to lead jackson to the others. "don't worry about it" jackson whispered. not gaining the attention of youngjae and mark seated ahead of them. 

youngjae giggly sitting next to mark, placing flowers into the younger's lap for him to hold. a small smile curling mark's lips when he gazed up to see jackson ahead of them. "they'll be here soon" jb sighed, sitting next to his boyfriend. 

jackson purposely sitting next to mark, although respectfully keeping distance between their chairs. "how about these?" youngjae chirped, placing a bouquet of roses and daisy's on the table. 

"they're pretty, do you want to put them in our room?" jb hummed, taking them to hand to place in his lap. jackson masking their muffled conversation, gazing at the bundle of assorted flowers on their table ahead of them. 

"whats your favorite color?" jackson said gently, turning to mark. jb and youngjae to caught up in their conversation to notice the two. mark adorably looking up at jackson before gazing back to the table. 

"pink and yellow" mark's soft voice barely that of a whisper. jackson lightly pushing his chair closer to mark's before taking a few flowers to hand. bundling them together, making his attempts to find the best flowers from the piles.

"hows this?" jackson hummed, holding the bundle of tied flowers in front of him. mark let out a soft giggle, tracing his fingertips along the petals. jinyoung's presence joining the group at the table, noticing the small smile curled against mark's lips. 

"are you enjoying yourself?" he said, turning his attention to jackson. "its nice" jackson said gently, giving his attention back to the flowers in his hands. nodding in agreement to jinyoung's soft rambles as to why he chose garden therapy to help his patients. 

jackson's attention much more focused on mark's steady breathes. the soft exhales as he hands sat in his lap, only trembling occasionally. "will you help me take these to our room, i get lost easy" jackson asked. 

mark tilting his head to the side adorably at jackson, enough to make the older's heart flutter on spot. mark letting out a small nod before jb had a chance to intervene. jackson pulling himself up out of the seat, marks light, timid footsteps trailing behind him


	10. Chapter 10

"thank you" jackson hummed, marks light and timid footsteps trailing ahead of him. leading jackson back to their room. mark letting out a small nod, pulling the white hoodie sleeves over his hands. 

folding them in his lap as he sat on his bed, watching jackson look through their shelf. "do you like to read?" he said, glancing back at mark whom was seated against the edge of the bed. the younger shaking his head gently. 

"you're not much of a talker" he chuckled to himself. mark momentarily pondering on his words before letting out a small nod. "thats alright" jackson said, picking one of the books from the shelf. "i prefer it when its quiet" 

jackson making his way from the room, mark gently following behind him. although mark stopping before walking from the doorway, glancing back at the room. "what is it?" jackson hummed before gazing back.

the older seeing a bug over top one of his photos, brushing past mark to quickly kill it. "d━dont h━hurt it" mark said softly. stuttering over his own stumbled words, despite that the gentleness of his voice sending jackson's heart into flutters.

"okay" jackson smiled at the younger. he gently cupped the bug in his hands, holding it out at a distance from mark. proving he hadn't harmed the bug, although mark still obviously petrified at the thought of the bug coming near him. 

"we'll take it back to the garden with us" jackson hummed. looking back at marks gaze still caught on one of jackson's photos. "thats my mom" jackson said proudly. "s━shes pretty" mark whispered.

"she is" a smile curling jackson's lips. "hopefully she'll come visit me soon, then you can meet her" jackson said ecstatically. mark nodding as jackson brushed his way out of the room. the bug still cupped in his hands as they made their way through the building. 

jackson leading mark to sit back down next to him at the table. mark whimpering as his wrist accidently grazed the table, jb checking to assure he was okay. jackson uncupped his hands, allowing the beetle to walk along the table.

"oh, nope, nope, nope" bambam quickly jumping from his seat and hiding behind yugyeom. "babe you better kill that shit right now" he said, hiding behind yugyeoms taller stature. "mark didn't want me to kill it" jackson hummed, letting the bug crawl on his finger. 

"then were not killing it" youngjae huffed, crossing his arms in his seat. "just because your whipped for him doesn't mean i am" bambam sticking his tongue out towards youngjae. "get it out of here"

"maybe we'll put it in the bathroom" youngjae cutting bambam a sharp glare. "oh yeah maybe i'll get bent over the━" jb quickly hushing bambams sentence. "he meant he'll slip in the bathroom again because hes scared of the bug, mark" jb's eyes widening towards bambam as he shook his head.

mark nodded gently, frowning. "b━but we cant kill it" tears swelling in marks eyes. bambam's guilt running over his fear of the bug. letting out a soft sigh, although still hiding behind his boyfriend. yugyeom chuckling all the while at bambam's fear of the bug.

"jinyoung" jackson called gently. the doctor making his way from the table he was at, and walking towards theirs. "could you please put this outside safely?" jackson asked, holding the beetle up on his finger. 

"of course" he smiled, taking it to his hands. jinyoung cupping the bug in his hands as he directed the nurses to keep a close eye on the room. the doctor making his way to a safe area to place the bug, returning once he had done so.

"thank god" bambam said dramatically, sitting back down in his seat. yugyeom holding back his chuckles as bambam gently slapped his shoulder. "its not funny!" he said grumpily, yugyeom pulling bambam into his arms. 

"fine, fine" he said as bambam started pairing flowers with one another in his arms. jackson gazing at marks small smile. jb and youngjae both noticing the younger feeling any emotion other then sadness, only due to jackson. 

youngjae chewing on his bottom lip,  _his feelings for mark had never quite died down as much as he had told jb they had in the past._


	11. Chapter 11

youngjae and jb quietly walked back to their room, branching off from the others. jb's gaze caught on yugyeom and bambam lovingly walking hand in hand to their room. bambam giggling the entire way there. 

jb scoffing as he gazed the other way, earning youngjae's attention. "jealous its not you?" youngjae said quietly. "excuse me?" jb scoffing once more, youngjaes sharp glare cut at him. "i know you still love mark" youngjae said quietly. 

"and? you love him to" jb mumbled, rounding the corner to their room. "i had to beg you to switch rooms jb, you love him alot more then i do" youngjae taking his anger out on the older. collapsing onto his bed as he faced the wall. 

"we had a deal, we have each other we don't need him" jb said, sitting on the edge of his bed. youngjae letting out in a quick  _'mhm'_  in agreement. jb softly exhaling against his breathed pause. 

"you need to let go" jb said softly. "so do you" the younger quickly retaliated. any attempts at jb to protest his words, although true cut short by yugyeom peering around their room corner. 

"will you come play cards with us?" yugyeom said adorably, coxing the two out of their room. jb glancing at youngjae still curled into his sheets before taking to his feet. youngjae scoffing into the pillow beneath him as he pulled himself up from the bed. 

bambam, along with jackson and  mark already waiting for them. bambam cutting yugyeom an adorable puppy face as he held his arms out extended towards his boyfriend. snuggling into yugyeoms shoulder the moment he sat down. 

youngjae took his seat on the couch, in one of the tables ahead of him. jackson sat next to yugyeom, in the other seat rounding the table next to the couch. jb snagging the chance to sit next to mark, the younger oddly sat at the table for once.

"what should we play?" yugyeom hummed, placing cards around the table. "lunatic pickup sticks" bambam whined, a puzzled looking gracing marks features. tilting his heady adorably to the side, "whats that?" he said softly. 

the softness of his voice sending flutters through jackson's heart. jackson noticing the looks on jb's and youngjae's faces, although brushing it off. "its like a game of pick up sticks, played by fucking lunatics" bambam chirped, snuggling further into yugyeoms side. 

"i━i dont get it" the gentleness of his voice fluttering jackson's heart once more. the older catching onto the obvious heart eyes youngjae and jb were both throwing at mark. bambam happily about to explain it to the younger, although cut off by youngjae's scoff.

"its just like pickup sticks, how hard is that to understand?" the words angrily leaving his lips. mark already tearing up at his words, sniffling a bit before shakily pulling himself from his chair. attempting to stand up only to have his wrist gripped gently by jb. 

"he didn't mean it, hes just had a bad day, please stay" jb pleaded with mark. mark bringing jackson's hoodie sleeve over his hand to wipe his cheeks. sitting back inbetween youngjae and jb, folding his hands in his lap. 

"okay so all you have to do is" bambam going onto explain the game. although cut off once more by youngjae's angry scoff. youngjae having noticed how jb had soothingly brushed the tears from mark's cheek. 

"of course he lets you touch him" youngjae mumbled. jb softly exhaling as he attempted to ignore his 'boyfriends' words. "touch him anywhere else, is that why he likes you so much?" youngjae not thinking about the words as they escaped him. only thinking of his seething anger.

"if he liked me, i'd be with him, and not you" jb said bluntly, regretting the words as they left his lips. youngjae narrowing his eyes at him, mark bursting back into tears. bringing his hoodie sleeve covered hands to his face as the two argued. 

youngjae and jb continuing to angrily argue with mark inbetween them. their argurment only coming to a seize with jackson pulled himself up from the table. rounding the table, guiding mark without touching him to follow him. 

to their surprise, mark collapsing against jacksons chest in sobs. jackson winding one arm tightly around his waist, shielding marks face into his chest. shaking his head at the pair as he lead mark back to their room. 

mark trembling against the older, his sobs muffled against jackson's chest. jackson delicately stroking his back, not bothering to flip on the light switch as they entered their room. guiding mark to sit on the edge of his bed, mark falling against jackson's chest the moment he sat down.


	12. Chapter 12

"hey" jackson said softly, wrapping one arm around mark. "its okay" he hummed quietly. the window letting through a ray of moonlight, falling on mark's face, illuminating it. somehow being easier to see a persons true emotions, in the dark.

jackson can see the pronounced, sunken bags under marks sleepless eyes. it wasn't the color of his eyes that was breathtaking, although the beautiful indigo darts gazing at him. it was the rawness of his emotions, seeping through his clouded eyes.

he focused on marks eyes, the moonlight shining across them. his eyes, like stars. drawing you into explore the swirling emotions of them, the thousands of untold stories beneath them. his black pupils surrounded by a ring of clouded grey, swallowed by a sapphire blue. 

at first glance his eyes were that of a clouded sky, beautiful hues of blue lining them. although jackson, who dared to gaze deeper saw the truth behind his eyes. the sadness that seeped through them, the pain and sorrow that glistened like the sun against small waves. 

jackson use to believe the glaciers of his eyes were ice cold, knowing no warmth. although now engulfed by the swirling warmth of marks eyes.  jackson knew that  behind the sadness, and the sorrow, lied a fiery spirit that would never give up. 

now seeing, knowing through his eyes. that the strongest of spirits, and fires; burned blue. the moonlight glistening against the powerful warmth that intoxicated jackson. mark gazed back at him, beautiful indigo darts yet so full of emotion. 

as if all his emotions, and all the beautiful myriad shades of blue swirled together into one. forming a whirlpool of apprehension, the trembling of marks skin against jackson, and beautiful ocean eyes gazing back at him, telling more then words ever could.

although mark's eyes blue, his cloudy grey stained eyes captivating jackson. luring him in, generating a feeling as if he was being wrapped in a warmth so strong as if he had been seemingly, and unknowingly been freezing his entire life.

"why are you looking at me like that?" mark said softly through his stifled sobs. pulling away from jackson, adorably gazing up at him. jackson taken back momentarily, mentally slapping himself back into reality.

"because" he said quietly.  _"you are the most beautiful thing i have ever seen"_  he hummed, brushing the messily placed blonde strands from marks face. mark lightly giggling through his sobs, falling against jackson's chest once more. 

jackson hyper aware of every singular nerve in his body. how marks hands clutched against his shirt, holding onto him so tightly. how the youngers dark, perfectly curled eye lashes fluttered against jackson's collarbones. 

even marks trembling against jackson's skin, revealing the exact thoughts that marvel his ominous mind. marks napalm sky eyes gazing back at jackson gently as he looked up at the older. 

"you are, and always will be, the most beautiful thing i have ever seen" jackson whispered quietly. those beautiful, flicking azure orbs intoxicating him. 


	13. Chapter 13

"thank you" mark whispered against jackson's chest. his voice barely that of a whisper, although jackson understanding all the same. "i━i don't know why they're mad at me" jackson only tightly hugging him in response. 

jackson continued to soothe marks carousel of thoughts, humming gently all the while. "their just jealous mark" jackson admitted, feeling the soft whimpers against his chest. "j━jealous of what?"

the thought now occurring to jackson that mark was upset because of the yelling. not because he knew of both youngjae, and jb's obvious feelings for him. "probably just because of something stupid" jackson trying to recoil the situation.

nearly forgetting how innocent, and sensitive mark truthfully was. jackson threading his fingertips through his messily placed blonde hair. stroking his fingers through as marks sobs stifled against his chest, his tears darkening jackson's shirt.

"i━im s━sorry" mark stuttered once he pulled back, seeing the dark spot he had left against jackson's shirt. "its alright, angel" jackson chuckled, gazing at marks perfectly curled dark lashes, brimmed with light tears.

marks usually angelic features shadowed with sorrow. jackson bringing his hand up to brush the tears from his cheeks, although mark flinching at his sudden movements. "i'm not gonna hurt you" jackson whispered soothingly. 

mark letting out a gentle nod, relaxing back into the sheets beneath him. letting out a soft yawn in the process, jackson in awe at the adorableness of the younger. the two sitting in a serenity of silence as jackson wiped the tears from his cheeks. 

another soft yawn escaping him, jackson chuckling as marks dark lashes fanned his skin when he sleepily blinked. "do you uh, wanna sleep here?" jackson said, nearly stumbling over his own words. 

marks cheeks filling with brilliant hues of pink as he let out a gentle nod. jackson relaxing back into his pillows, mark following to curl into his chest. the softness of his skin against jackson's intoxicating, one touch and jackson was nearly in a trance. 

"is this okay?" jackson said gently as he brought his arm to wrap mark. feeling another gentle nod into his chest, mark feeding a soft giggle from his lips. the gentleness of his words sending jackson's heart into flutters. 

jackson tightly wrapped his arms around mark, the younger laying nearly completely on top of him. although jackson not minding, marks weight equivalent to that of a feather. tightening his grip gently, pressing marks tiny stature against his muscular frame.

jackson gently rocking him to sleep, all while hearing the softness of marks gentle breathe against his chest. jackson relishing in adoration, never having thought of being so close to the younger.

mark nearly completely asleep by the time jackson's eyelashes began to flutter. the older allowing himself to drift to sleep with mark tightly curled against his chest. seemingly all his troubles as to falling asleep had disappeared. 

the thought of his mother, for once not even crossing his mind. intoxicated, and captivated by mark. allowing the lavender-pine scent of the younger to completely consume him.

jackson only waking to a light shuffling in his room, and the sunlight peaking through their window. the sunlight perfectly shining against marks face, although not waking him. perhaps from exhaustion, or mark just adoring jackson's embrace.

jackson gently pulled the blankets over the both of them, bringing them to marks shoulders as he rested back into the bed. nearly drifting back to sleep if not for one of the nurses appearing in the door frame. 

"you have a visitor" she said quietly, a puzzling look gracing jackson's features. "who is it?" he groaned, luckily not waking mark in the process as he attempted to uncurl himself from the younger. 

**_"your girlfriend"_ **


	14. Chapter 14

"tell her i don't wanna see her" jackson said bluntly, unraveling himself from mark. "tell her i'll call her" he continued, remembering the days jinyoung allowed them to call home. the nurse letting out an exaggerated sigh as she nodded. 

jackson glanced back at mark, now curling into blankets as jackson took to his feet. sleepily whimpering into the sheets, jackson quietly getting up from the bed. he leaned against the door frame as he glanced back at mark one last time. 

his angelic features shadowed with peace as he slept. a small smile curling jackson's lips, his eyes caught on mark rather then the photos of his mother. the softness of marks porcelain skin nearly sending him into a trance, how fragile he was intoxicating jackson. 

jackson yawning as he scratched the back of his head. hearing a coughing from the room next to him, followed by a light gagging as he peered his head around the corner. bambam, now in his view throwing up into a small box.

his eyes shot up at jackson, widening as he attempted to stumble out words. "d━dont tell y━yugyeom" was all he was able to choke out before his vomiting resumed. jackson quickly running to his side, patting his back gently as he held the box. 

bambam attempting to speak, although unable to, jackson stroking his back. "i won't tell him" jackson whispered gently, calming the younger down at bit. "but" he added, exhaling against his breathed pause. 

"don't do this again" bambam nodding as he picked his head up. jackson taking the moment to fully examine the younger, starting at his feet in which were bony and thin; much like the rest of his body.

he was stripped to the bone, a hollow shell of the once happy and vibrant person he use to be. his legs, thin as twigs bundled under nothing more then a pair of yugyeoms pajama pants. in which were far to big for him, although tied tightly around his thin waist. partially hanging off his hip.

jackson taking the box from his hands, bambam slipping off his shirt to change into another one. as vomit had seeped through his t-shirt, rummaging through his and yugyeom's shelf to find one of yugyeom's shirts.

his chest so frail, each bump of each rib was visible beneath his skin. his face sunken in, an intense outline visible of his skull was detectable beneath his sun kissed skin. bambam nearly as thin as mark, putting jackson into question as to if mark was healthy or not. 

bambams long, slender fingers picked up one of yugyeoms shirts from the shelf. the fabric caressing the outline of his sharp shoulders, thin forearms and onto his slender torso. sun kissed, flawless skin perfectly wrapping the frame of his body.

his bones jutted out, although yugyeom's large pajama pants hiding that fact. although the fact that he had been starving himself became prominent when jackson gazed at his cheek bones, looking as if they had been dug out with spades. 

the bags beneath his eyes sunken, and pronounced. jackson wondering as to how close bambams organs were to failure. the younger appearing quite close to needing to be hospitalized. 

bambam sorrowfully glanced over at jackson, his lashes fanning his skin as he gazed back down. "stay with yugyeom from now on" jackson said quietly. "if your with him, and your eating, i won't tell him about today" he continued.

"because it'll be the last time, okay?" jackson smiled up at him, bambam softly nodding along. "i heard about your girlfriend" bambam said quietly. jacksons mouth slightly dropping.

"but i'm not going to tell mark, if thats what your thinking" he hummed gently, refolding his and yugyeom's clothes. "just" he paused, "don't hurt mark, please" chewing on his bottom lip as he continued to fold the clothes.

"i won't" jackson silently promised, having every intention as to keeping that promise as they heard a gentle shuffling down the hallway, bambam mumbling curses. jackson quickly catching on as he took the box and rushed out the room to trash it. 

glancing back to see yugyeom happily entering the room, loving and kissing on his boyfriend. the older only having been gone for his therapy, bambam mouthing a quick thank you to jackson as he wrapped his thin arms around yugyeom.


	15. Chapter 15

jackson walked down the broad hallway, passing by rooms as he searched for his. only having found it once he heard the gentle sobs of mark, rushing around the door frame the moment he heard his cries. 

"hey, hey" jackson said quietly, rounding the corner to find mark tightly curled up in jacksons bed. mark sobbing into jacksons hoodie sleeves, the older taking a seat on the edge of the bed next to him. 

he wrapped his arms around mark, an action that would usually have the younger flinching. although his tears brought forth like a dam, spilling down his face. his only movements that of trembling against jackson, mark nuzzling into jacksons chest, as if the action its self was enough to soothe him. 

there was a static in marks head, a side effect of constant fear. his nightmares a theft of his spirit, plaguing him with sorrow. his cries were different from that of a normal person, a person of such sorrow should be drained of all hope. 

but him, his glacier eyes burning the strongest blue. the pain that flowed from him was as palpable was the frigid fall wind that sat just behind their window. jackson struggling to keep his tears silent, as just the thought of mark reliving his horrors striking jackson to his heart.

marks fingers white-knuckled from clutching onto jacksons shirt as if he was a life-line. mark felt it hit all at once, as if someone had drawn back the oceans and sent them crashing. "shh its alright" jackson says very softly as mark lets out a stuttering sob against his chest. 

mark clung onto jackson for dear life, sobbing uncontrollably into his chest. his tears darkening jacksons white button up, although jackson not minding. he continued to rock mark back and forth, rubbing circles along his back.

mark let out stuttering word like apologies tumbling from his trembling lips. although all falling onto forgiving ears as jackson hummed gently, rocking mark back and forth into the duvets. mark struggling to breathe against his sobs, his breathes becoming shallow.

rocking mark slowly as tears soaked his chest, a tiny lapse of need to draw breathe allowed jackson to briefly pull away. marks myriad shades of blue swirled together to form a whirlpool of apprehension in his eyes. his curled, dark lashes brimmed with heavy tears.

mark collapsing back into jacksons chest as he let out a soft whimper. his cries of misery worsening, his pain came in waves. minutes of sobs only broken apart by his needs for recovering shallow breathes. 

"darling" jackson said softly. "nothing can hurt you anymore, i'm right here with you" he hummed gently, soothing marks carousel of fears. he threaded one hand through marks hair, soothingly stroking his fingertips through. 

"i'm not going anywhere" he whispers, marks stutterly sobbing against his chest. pearl-shaped tears rolling down his cheeks from wide luminous eyes. his perfectly curled lashes fluttering against his skin, cheeks flushed with brilliant hues of pink. 

pulling back from jackson, using his hoodie sleeve covered hand to rid himself of the tears flowing down his cheeks. "here i'll go get━" jackson said as he stood up, although marks small hand quickly wrapping his wrist.

"s━s━stay" mark stuttered softly, his voice barely that of a whisper. a smile curling jacksons lips as he sat back down on the edge of the bed. pulling one of his blankets to wrap around mark, "alright" he said. "i'll stay".


	16. Chapter 16

jackson awoke to a gentle giggle in his door frame, fluttering his eyes open to mark still curled against his chest. bambam, wearing a pair of yugyeoms pajama pants far to large for him peered around the door frame. 

"cute~!" he squealed, yugyeom quickly following behind him peering over his head. "aww" yugyeom hummed, wrapping his arms around his tiny boyfriend. "you're gonna wake him up" jackson sleepily groaned, rubbing his eyes as the light from the window hit his face.

the first few buttons of jacksons white shirt undone, marks blonde hair messily placed across his face as he curled farther into jackson. "come eat with us pleaseee~" bambam pleaded, flashing a quick puppy face. 

jackson rolled his eyes as he unraveled his arm from around mark, gently pulling mark up with him. "darling, you need to eat" jackson said softly, yugyeom already having drug bambam away to the cafeteria. 

marks leggings gently rubbed against jacksons leg as he sat up, pursing his lips at jackson. "i promise we'll lay down once you eat" jackson chuckled, knowing mark didn't want to get up yet. mark let out a soft yawn as jackson stood up, retucking his white button up into his shirt and readjusting the buttons. 

marks flickering azure orbs confirmed jacksons thoughts as to mark being tired. mark gently took to his feet, pulling jacksons hoodie sleeves over his hands. although they went over his hands on their own, the hoodie far to large for him. 

the hem falling just beneath his thighs, leggings tightly hugging his skin. "could i hold this?" jackson asked shyly, looking down at marks small hand. mark let out a soft giggle as he nodded, jackson lacing their fingertips together.

marks hands were small and pampered, much like the rest of him. to the touch they were soft and cold, while jacksons were rough and warm. jackson brushed his thumb along marks as they walked, marks light and timid footsteps following close behind.

bambam, of course spotting them along the way as they had been waiting in the next room. "my ship is sailing" bambam giggled, falling against yugyeom's chest. marks cheeks flustered as they filled with brilliant hues of crimson.

jackson only chuckling in response, bambam and yugyeom finishing getting dressed guiding mark and jackson to go on ahead. "are you alright?" jackson said, worry pervading his tone. mark stood on his tip-toes, bringing a tentative hand to caress jacksons cheek. 

the beautiful lines of his hands catching jacksons attention, the lines swirled across his palms. his small, bony fingers trailing across jacksons cheek, although all jackson could see was his beauty.

"i'm okay" marks voice barely that of a whisper, relacing his fingertips into jacksons as jackson let him to the dining room. jackson seemingly forgetting about jb and youngjaes obvious jealously until he remembered to late.


	17. Chapter 17

marks hands bared innocence, soft and delicate. not noticing the glare jb was cutting jackson from across the room. bambam and yugyeom soon trailing behind the pair as they all made their way to sit down.

"can you atleast pretend your not in love with him?" youngjae said, poking at his foot just before the rest of them sit down.  bambam quickly breaking the brief silence with his attack on yugyeom's sides. 

the thin boy tickling his lover until the tall boy admits defeat. yugyeom looking to jackson for assistance as he whines. youngjae forces a laugh out, sorrowfully gazing at mark. "you should eat" youngjae mumbles to mark, sliding food towards him.

although rejected by the small boy, pushing it away with his hoodie covered hand. "i━im okay". a small frown curling jacksons lips, softly exhaling as he gazed up at youngjae. "mark i'm sorry i yelled at you, please eat"

jackson narrowed his eyes at youngjaes remark, gazing back at mark. "please eat, sweetheart" he requests softly. taking the spoon to hand to press it to marks lips, in which he finally accepts.

jackson cutting youngjae a sharp glare before he continues to feed the small boy. glancing over to bambam eating happily next to his boyfriend, yugyeom occasionally feeding him a bit more, jackson shocked at the boys actions. 

jb and youngjae both sat merely poking at their food. mark visibly trembling beneath jacksons hoodie, jackson wanting nothing more then to comfort him. although knowing the display of affection would likely anger both the men sat ahead of him.

jackson brought his hand under the table, placing it on top of marks shaky palm. going unnoticed by the seething pair ahead of them, jackson continuing to feed mark small bits of food. 

"do you guys wanna play cards with us after we eat?" yugyeom hummed, leaning against jacksons shoulder as bambam giggled. "please?" yugyeom pouted, jutting out his bottom lip. 

"do you want to?" jackson asked softly, turning his attention back to mark, brushing his thumb against the youngers. "s━sure"  mark finally gazing up from his lap,  ripples of rich sapphire illuminating his eyes. 

specks of emerald glimmering across his glassy iris, adrenaline coursed through jacksons veins at the sight. a shiver running his spine, a bittersweet melody strung over marks eyes. azure burning into jacksons eyes with its own abrupt intensity.

jackson their fraction of eye contact, glancing at bambam whom had eaten his entire plate. continuing to eat what yugyeom had fed him off his own, bambam smiling as his boyfriend fed him. 

although cut short by the sound of a nurse gently calling jacksons name. "you have a visitor" the feminine voice called through out the dining hall. jackson bit into his cracked bottom lip, squeezing marks hand in reassurance before unraveling himself from the younger boy. 

"i'll sit with him don't worry" yugyeom smiled as jackson stood up. yugyeom and bambam sliding over one seat to be closer to mark, attempting to soothe the fragile boys anxiety. jackson exhaled as he made his way from the room, glancing back at the group attempting to talk to mark. 

jacksons heavy footsteps followed the nurse to the visiting room, not having bothered to ask whom had come. sweat glistened across jacksons forehead, recessed at his cheeks. he kept his head down, walking to the large visiting room. 

tables spread out amoungst the room, a set of vending machines sat in the corner. jackson brought his gaze up to see the young woman sat at the table, hands folded in her lap. the young woman sat in a crisp, tailored peach cream suit.

a smile curling her lips the moment she noticed jackson, nearly jumping from her seat. the nurse left the two in the room, jackson taking seat ahead of the woman whilst the nurse waiting outside the room.

"baby" she giggled, a scoff nearly escaping jackson. jackson rolled his shoulders back into the seat, relaxing as he tapped his finger against the metallic table. "why did you come?" jackson asked bluntly. 

"well" the woman clearing her throat, her porcelain skin ashen. "your mothers will" jacksons eyes widened at the remark, seemingly having forgotten about the millions of wealth his mother had left behind. 

"she left everything to you and i was just wondering━" 


	18. Chapter 18

"you came here for my money?" jackson quickly sneered, the woman flinching in her seat. "well its just━" her words cut off by another scoff escaping jackson. "its just what?" he mocked. 

"you don't need it in here, do you?" her voice pervaded by greed, having presumed being his girlfriend admitted her access. "excuse me?" 

the woman rolled her eyes in response, folding her arms over one another. "you're not getting out anytime soon, jax you could atleast help me out" she dead panned, knowing her boyfriend hated the nickname. 

"help you? fucking help you?"a momentary flare of anger in jacksons face, "is that all you ever cared about?" jackson roughly taking to his feet, fingers white-knuckled as they curled into fists. 

jackson called for the nurse to declare they were finished speaking, making his way towards the door. "come on jax" the feminine voice of his now ex-girlfriend called, jackson swung around with the jerk of his head.

in a subconscious gesture of disgust his nose wrinkled, throwing his head back as he chuckled. what little colour jackson had left to his eyes dissipated, his words remaining stationary on his tongue as he scoffed.

"don't come back here" jackson spoke with a coldness that the woman had never heard before, his words were a threat; a jibe at one. hate colored his soul, spread out through out his entire system, coursing his veins. 

before the woman had a chance to respond the nurse reentered the room, excusing the woman. jackson sneered as he made his exit, jerking his head forward. by the time he had returned their breakfast was long over, the nurse guiding him back to the main room. 

bambams grin welcoming him back as he spotted him from across the room. yugyeom and bambam sat hand-in-hand at the circular table, the group in their usual spots playing an undistinguishable card game. 

an object of hatred still present in jackson, although soothed once his eyes met marks tiny frame curled against the couch. jacksons hoodie sleeves falling heavenly over his hands, jb and youngjae seated next to each other across from the other couple. 

left unchecked, hate could completely poison jacksons soul, although all his anger seemingly dissipating when he met marks gaze. a smile curling jacksons lips, readjusting his white button up as he made his way to the table.

"what are you guys playing?" jackson chuckles, taking seat next to mark on the couch. the fragile boy in turn curling against jacksons chest, sneaking under one of his arms. "lunatic pick up sticks!" bambam happily proclaims. 

"who was your visitor?" yugyeom nosily asks, although curious. "just my sister" jackson bluntly lies, bambam knowing there were no truths to his words. "whens your first therapy session with jinyoung?" yugyeom questioned, diverting the topic. 

"i think its tomorrow" jackson hummed, marks warm, small frame snuggling closer against his chest. his shallow breathes crossing jacksons button up, the older already sensing marks anxiety. 

jb cutting the pair sharp glares of jealousy, jackson knowing mark would be a full force emotional hurricane today if it continued. "mark, do you wanna help me clean up our room?" jackson whispered, just loud enough for jb to hear although their room was nearly spotless.

youngjaes clutch on the stuffed cat in hand angrily tightening as jackson helped mark up. jackson threading his fingertips through marks despite the scoff he earned from jb, bambam quickly scolding jbs actions.

"you know, everyone knows you like him" yugyeom said the moment jackson was out of sight. "just because he doesn't like you, doesn't mean you have to treat them both so terribly" a small frown curling yugyeoms lips, bambam comforting his lover.

jackson glanced back at the group talking, noticing yugyeoms frown although brushing it off as marks hand tightened around his. which each jibe of marks emotions, jackson could feel the winds of his emotions clipping his core. 

jackson quickly leads mark to their room, mark falling against his chest the moment they enter the door way. "w━what did i━i do to them?" he softly stutters a sob, darkening jacksons white button up.

making attempts at fragmented words, his brain a carousel of panic as he attempts to speak. his brain demanding an energetic expenditure, although his lips unable to keep up as he sobbed. jackson hums gently as he sits mark down on the bed, quickly taking a seat next to him.

mark talks like he doesnt have enough time to say what hes suppose to, stumbling over word like apologies. his words crowded together, some missing while his sentences fragmented. all of marks fears, and thoughts tumbling unchecked from his lips.

marks knuckles whiten as he clutches on to jackson like a life line, jackson stroking the fragile boys back all the while humming gently into his ear. marks word like apologies falling onto forgiving ears, "you didn't do anything wrong, darling"

jackson rocking mark back and forth into the silken mattress, tightening his grasp around marks thin waist. seeing marks body slowly relax, his voice begin to flow out more calmly. "you have not a thing to apologize for" jackson breathes softly, rubbing circles along marks back.

jackson lays mark back on his chest, continuing to run his fingers through his messy blonde locks. mark nuzzling his nose against jacksons chest, his cheeks flushed with brilliant hues of pink as he adorably gazes up at jackson.

"rest, darling" jackson cooes, placing a soft kiss against marks forehead. the younger letting a gentle giggle feed through his lips, snuggling back into jacksons chest. only then does mark feel safe, allowing himself to drift to sleep so tightly wound in jacksons arms of serenity.


	19. Chapter 19

marks dark lashes fluttered against jacksons collarbones as he awoke, curled tightly against the olders white polo. a small yawn escaping him, blinking his eyes up towards jackson. "good morning, beautiful" jackson whispers softly, brushing the messily placed blonde strands from marks face. 

mark let out a soft yawn against jacksons chest, curling further into his side. jackson lets out a soft sigh of contentment, feeling the warmth of mark snuggle further against his chest. "hey" jackson cooed softly, mark adorably gazing up at the older, a series of sleep blinks following. 

"whats wrong?" the gentleness of marks voice sending flutters through jacksons erratically beating heart. seemingly able to tell the older was stressed, perhaps from the heaviness of his chest.

"you're scared" a soft giggle feeding through marks lips, placing a gentle kiss along the buttons of jacksons polo. "i've never been to therapy before" jackson hummed, threading his fingertips through marks messy blonde locks. 

"jinyoung is nice" the younger whispered, his voice barely that of a whisper although jackson understanding all the same. "whats it like?" anxiety seeping through jacksons tone, mark snuggling closer against his chest.

mark let out a soft giggle, snuggling closer to jacksons chest. "you just tell him how you feel, jackie" jackson chuckled out the nickname. would having been angry if it was anyone else calling him that, although not seeming to mind if it was the fragile boy curled tightly in his chest. 

"does it help?" jackson asked, practically playing twenty-questions with the boy. mark pondered on the thought momentarily, "sometimes" he hummed softly. "just tell the truth" mark placing another gentle kiss against the buttons of his polo.

mark is smiling, and god thats all jackson can see. the small curl of his lips, the gentleness of the younger. jackson having just a fraction of eye-contact with his lips before jinyoung gently knocks on the door, silently chuckling. 

jackson took a deep exhale, his heart still beating erratically as mark crawled off top of him. the small boy curling into one of jacksons hoodies as he slowly drifted to sleep, jackson swinging his legs off the bed to take to his feet.

"good morning" jinyoung humming a sot tune, leading jackson through the main room towards his office. bambam catching a glimpse of the pair, flashing jackson a smile of  _'good luck'_.  bambam leaning against yugyeoms chest as they played their small card game, although just the two as jb and youngjae were likely still asleep.

jackson envied them, in truth. envied the thought of having someones presence alone to be enough, their universes centered around one another. although despite his best attempts mark always came to mind, even at the sight of the other couples. 

jackson snapped out of his thoughts as jinyoung opened the office door, exposing a large wooden desk. topped with pictures of what jackson presumed to be jinyoungs wife and children, a sectional sofa sat in the corner. 

whilst three winged chairs were placed in front of the desk, jackson taking seat in the middle one. "how are you feeling?" jinyoung asked, breaking the ice as he took his black rimmed glasses to hand. 

"fine" jackson nodded, folding one leg over another as he rolled his shoulders back into the winged chair. "i seen you've made quite a few friends" he chuckled, rolling his chair back to retrieve a set of papers from his filing cabinet.

"i'm worried about mark" jackson said bluntly, jinyoung furrowing his eyebrows in response. "and why is that?" he questioned, although already knowing the answer. "because hes just as small as bam" 

hues of sorrow pervaded jacksons tone, bringing his gaze down to his lap. "mark has done a bit better these passed few days" jinyoung admitted, "hes made more progress in a few days then he had in a year"

jacksons eyes widened a bit, taken back by the remark. "really?" jackson chuckling a bit, the thought of helping the boy pervading him with a sudden warmth. "i really like him" jackson said shyly, twiddling his thumbs together.

"my girlfriend came to visit me the other day, but all i could think about was him" jinyoung nodding, having known the woman was jacksons now ex-girlfriend. the woman having attempted to file a compliant against jackson, to no avail. 

jackson continued to chatter on about mark, the individual things he loved and craved about the boy. jinyoung nodding along with a small smile curling his lips, listening to jacksons adoration for the boy.

the pair blissfully unaware that youngjae had been waiting by the door the entire time. having followed to ask jinyoung a question, hearing their  _entire_   _conversation._


	20. Chapter 20

"he is so beautiful, yet so unaware of it" jackson whispers, although jinyoung understanding all the same. marks beauty was pristine, it was all he desired, all he seeks. "his beauty, is painted in the most florescent colors" jackson smiling at the thought of the boy.

but god, marks smile. all that jackson could think about was his smile, when he smiled rays of colors from every end of the spectrum go running in all directions. instead of being subject to art, mark became art.

his bone symmetry perfection, his glassy ocean eyes held such intelligence and serenity that it was impossible for jackson not to be held prisoner by them. mark so disarmingly unaware of his beauty, jackson intoxicated by the boy.

perhaps the way his porcelain skin glowed, radiating within its self was seemingly enough to intoxicate the older. the gentleness of his voice that sent flutters through jacksons heart at each individual word, a salve to his soul.

in marks presence, he felt showered with love; and in those burning napalm, ocean eyes that shined with a gentleness, made jackson feel perfectly at home. florid cheeks and flawlessly sculpted pomegranate lips, crafted by angels themselves.

"jackson?" jinyoung silently chucked as jackson lost himself in his angelic thoughts. "ah, sorry" jackson said shyly, always seeming to lose himself in thoughts of the boy. "thats alright" jinyoung hummed, reviewing his notes along with a few papers sprawled across the table.

"i'm going to get you started on a few medications, you'll be taking them in the morning and night" he directed, flipping through the papers as he adjusted his thick black rimmed glasses. "what kind of meds?" jackson biting into his cracked bottom lip at the thought of being medicated. 

"a few mood stabilizers, and something to help calm you down" jinyoung smiled, although jackson had yet to have an outburst, still fearing the fact. jackson briefly noticed a shuffling just beneath the door, although brushing it off as he watched their footsteps move away from the door.

jackson nodded along to jinyoung momentary lecture about how important it was to take notice of side effects. even offering the boy kept a journal as to how he felt, or how the medication was effecting him.

jackson barely took any of the information in, only so desiring to get back to his peacefully sleeping lover. "we'll see how you feel in a week" jinyoung flashing a warm smile as he took to his feet. 

adjusting his thick black rimmed glasses, opening the door for jackson as he made his way out. bambam waiting not even four feet from the room, rushing to hug jackson the moment he stepped out. 

"how was it?" the thin boy began to bombard jackson with questions, not even giving him a chance to answer a singular one before asking the next. yugyeom chuckling as he told his boyfriend to slow down, the thin boy pouting in response.

"is mark awake yet?" jackson asked, the boy being the first thing to come to mind as bambam let out a soft giggle. "hes sitting with jb, waiting for us, you wanna play cards with us?" jackson questioning as to how the boy could play the same game over and over without getting bored of it. 

letting out a nod non-the-less, bambam latching onto jacksons arm as he drug him to the main room. jb sat next to mark on the couch, sneakily placing his arm around the boy without mark noticing. 

although the moment marks gaze met jackson, the fragile boy jumped from his seat to rush to the older. instantly falling against his chest as he wrapped his arms around jacksons waist, jacksons nose tickling his ear as he nuzzled against his chest. 

jb sorrowfully gazing at the pair, allowing his gaze to slide to youngjae. although perplexed by the seething anger in his boyfriends eyes, his hickory-mahogany eyes scintillating with an unknown intent.


	21. Chapter 21

youngjaes eyes a deep sienna, with a jealous glint that seemed to reflect the corners of his mouth. in which were fighting a frown, having his legs crossed over one another as he tapped his foot to a small pace.

glaring at the pair ahead of him, jackson is smiling, as if hes happy right down to his soul. as if there is no pit of sadness that dwells, having shown no mannerisms that hint at damage of any kind, perfect down to his micro-expressions. 

youngjae would sell his soul just to be jackson for a day, to walk in those shoes. to feel mark wrapped to tightly in his embrace, to hold and care for the delicacy of the fragile boy. to feel marks milky, porcelain skin against his own.

 _although, envy is the art of counting another mans blessing instead of you own._  he stared at jackson with such hate, not thinking of the words as they slipped him his lips. "jackson" youngjae began. 

"hows your girlfriend?" frustration building up with such force he explodes, attempting to end his anguish. although the moment he watched marks trembling chin tip in jacksons direction, he was consumed by guilt. 

"g━girl f━ friend?" mark stutters softly, bambams jaw dropping at the remark.  in that frozen second of jackson brushing past mark, youngjae suddenly felt a jolt of pain through out his body. his stomach ached, arms losing tension as jacksons fist pummeled into him. 

the older not even thinking about his actions, nor the consequences of them. youngjaes words packing a powerful punch, sending jackson completely over the edge. youngjaes tongue was soaked in the taste of blood, the nurses desperately attempting to pull jackson off the other.

although to no avail, jacksons muscular frame proving much to strong for them. jackson brought a fist to youngjaes face, snapping his nose into a grotesquerie. scarlet streaming his nose, his cheeks, rolling to his neck. 

youngjae struggled against him, bringing his leg up in an attempt to fight against jackson. although his movements far to slow compared to the other, the pair bruising each others bodies as they fought. 

grunting as they took handfulls of each others clothing, attempting to wrestle each other to the ground. jacksons temper uncontrollable, the nurses waiting for his punches to abate although never seizing to end.

the desolation jackson felt was all to consuming, completely whipping his mind, his actions speaking for his anger. a void enveloping him, ravaging his emotions.  his dreams, his hopes annihilated by youngjaes words. 

jacksons mind laid waste, beating his fists into the other without any mercy what-so-ever. one of the larger male nurses finally prying jackson from off top the other, youngjae consumed by burning crimson, scarlet stained jacksons clothes. 

jackson screamed curses at the man, blinded by his rage. youngjaes words the breaking point of his patience, the cutting line. youngjae wailing in pain as he attempted to shake the aching aftertaste of jacksons fists, the nurses still attempting to drag jackson away.

a divine spice completely vexing jacksons rage, the man throwing his fists at the nurses. mark sobbing uncontrollably, seemingly falling apart at the sight. unable to make out the words jackson was screaming towards him, his mind clouded with sorrow. 

"mark, i love you" was all he could make out, although the words being thrown at him from both jackson and youngjae. mark crumbled beneath their words, sobbing as he frantically inched away from the both of them. 

**_"mark i love you"_ **


	22. Chapter 22

mark was a slow streaming honey in which the two craved, undoubtedly intoxicated by the boy. jb attempted to console the boy, consumed by guilt of the situation. although mark inching away from him frantically, trembling as he shakily ran towards his room. 

bambam soon chasing after him, as he was the only one who knew the truth to jacksons story. mark collapsed upon his once shared bed with jackson, the olders black-cherry scent consuming him as he pressed one of jacksons hoodies to his chest.

 "mark" bambam said softly, peering around the doorframe as his eyes met the younger curled into the silken mattress. marks screaming sobs only interrupted by his needs to draw his shallow breathe, emotional pain flowing from his each and every pore.

every fiber of his being trembled, sobbing uncontrollably as bambam took seat on the edge of the bed next to him. "mark" bambam began sorrowfully, bringing a tentative hand to brush the tears from the boys cheeks. 

marks cries having such a rawness to them, even bambam's lashes brimming with tears at the sight. "its not true, markie" bambam cooes softly, attempting to soothe the boys sorrows. "y━you're l━l━lying"  mark hiccups in between his stuttered sobs.

each word that escaped youngjaes mouth, had been sat at the frequency to shatter marks heart into pieces. bambams soothing words making no difference as the world simply blurred around him, because anything that was not jackson was not good enough.

craving nothing more then for jacksons arms to wrap around him, because only then did mark feel safe. so tightly wrapped in jacksons arms of serenity, although knowing he was foolish to think the older would ever match his feelings, his emotions, his love.

mark sobbed into jacksons black cherry scented hoodie, bambam softly exhaling as he attempted to soothe the boy once more. "he broke up with her the second she came markie, he did i was there i promise" 

mark needed emotion novocaine, needed a numbing of his brain. he needed something, to take away the remains of that womans name. needed amnesia for this day, although knowing it would never come.

"markie he doesn't want her, he wants you" bambam promised, although mark wasn't even sure, if there was a cure. pleading there was a place he wouldn't feel so crazy, because he was completely and utterly in love with jackson. 

mark continued to crying as if the oceans had drawn back, and crashed upon him all at once. his chin trembling as he attempted to form words, although unable as the only words that could escape him were that of jacksons stuttered name.

bambam softly exhaled, tears streaming his cheeks as marks pain seeped into him. the youngers soul intertwined with jackson, and the thought of jackson intertwining his soul with someone else completely corrupted him.

bambam gently pulled the blankets over the sobbing boy, crying unceasingly. pulling himself off the edge of the bed, although jerking his head back to the sound of jackson reentering the room, accompanied by jinyoung.

mark shot up , eyes widening at the bruised and battered man ahead of him. although every last word he had ever said, mark jumped from his bed wrapping his arms shakily around jacksons muscular frame.

**_"jackson, i love you"_ **


	23. Chapter 23

jackson wrapped his arms tightly around the small boy in his arms, "i love you to" he whispered. jinyoung smiling as he had no intentions of separating the boys, having fought for jackson to stay in the ward. 

"you can stay" jinyoung began, mark snuggling further against jacksons chest, although a fraction of him terrified of the man. "i would like you and youngjae to sort this out" jinyoung adjusting his thick black-rimmed glasses. 

jinyoung continued to ramble on about the new rules that would apply to jackson. how even the slightest of outbursts would have him moved to a new facility. as well as to be civil with youngjae, to apologize to the boy. 

jinyoung had fought nearly everyone in the facility to keep jackson there, making promises as to how his new medication would help control him. as well as promising to put jackson in more therapy sessions, even having planned a group therapy among the small group.

"i want you to apologize to youngjae when your ready, and i'd like you two to stop whatever feud you have going on" jinyoung begins, adjusting his thick-black rimmed glasses. mark snuggling against jacksons chest, the older nodding along to jinyoungs rambling.

the man finally leaves the room, bambam soon trailing out behind him to give the pair their privacy. marks heart skips a beat as jackson gently pushes him to the bed, the boys dark, perfectly curled lashes fluttering shut.

"i━i missed y━you" marks voice barely that of a whisper, his voice wavering.  although jackson only responds by leaning in, gently pressing his lips against marks. jackson pulling away as their shaky breaths mingle. 

jackson unable to contain himself any longer, pulling mark into another passionate kiss. jacksons hands working around marks small frame, feeling each crevasse, each fraction of marks perfect thin physique.

his hands venturing over marks curved hips, their lips moving softly together in sync.  mark feeding soft whimpers through jacksons lips,  jackson pulls apart as mark opens his eyes.  his eyes consumed by wonder, curiosity. 

the beauty of those azure orbs flicking back at him, comforting jackson in a way words never could. the black of his pupil surrounded by a ring of jagged silver, swallowed by a saccharine sapphire.

his sharp, indigo darts showing each and every emotion words could never convey. jackson gently tracing his fingertips along marks milky skin as he leaned in for another kiss, jackson breaking intangible barriers as he closes the distance between them.

jackson lightly nips at marks bottom lip, a garden flourishing under jacksons soft touches. mark bringing a shaky hand to hug the back of jacksons neck, pulling him closer. their lips fit so perfectly into each other as if they were meant to be there. 

marks saccharine lavender-pine fragrance intoxicating jackson, intertwining with his own black-cherry aroma. jackson filled to the brim as he nearly forgets to breathe, gently breaking away as marks hand rests at the back of his neck. 

mark panting a bit, their shaky breathes intertwining one another as jackson presses his forehead to the youngers.  myriad shades of blue swirled together gazing back at jackson, dear god jackson couldn't fight the thoughts racing through his mind. 

those flickering azure orbs confirming each thought, jackson leaning his head to the side a bit as he gazed at marks burning napalm sky, ocean eyes. "i've never kissed anyone before" mark whispers softly, the gentleness of his voice enough to send flutters through out jacksons barren heart. 

although jackson to intoxicated by the boys beauty to respond, "you're staring at me" mark giggles a bit. "because" jackson begins. "because you are the most beautiful thing i have ever seen" 


	24. Chapter 24

jackson seemed to only ever allow himself to fall asleep when so tightly wrapped in marks arms of serenity. marks striking, let soft eyes fluttering open just before jacksons, curled at jacksons chest as they snuggled beneath the duvets.

jackson soon opening his eyes, greeting by the gentle gaze of his lover curled at his side. marks eyes shining softly in the morning light, expelling the sleepiness of the boy. "good morning" jackson whispers softly. 

a peak of awe nibbling at marks angelic features, jackson swearing he could lose himself in the beauty of those azure orbs. "good morning" mark says softly against jacksons chest, curling further against his chest.

jackson sits himself up first, earning a high-pitched whine from the small boy. chuckling as he swings his legs over the bed, taking to his feet. mark still dressed in one of jacksons larger hoodies, having had it washed in specific with the same black-cherry aroma of the older. 

jackson gazed at mark adorably curled up in his hoodie, giving him big, watery eyes to join him back in bed. "you need to eat breakfast" jackson says softly, earning another whimper from the thin boy laid across the bed.

"i'm not hungry" mark whispers, burying his face into the silken sheets. although jackson wasn't buying it, nor taking no for an answer as he resumed getting dressed and taking seat on the edge of the bed. 

"please eat" jackson feeling an electrical chill rush through his spine as marks chilly iris gaze. marks eyes didn't capture the light of the sunlight illuminating his face, instead they defied it. jackson lost once again in the beauty of the boys ocean eyes. every tendril of various shades of incandescent striking azure caught his eyes, 

mark gazed back down, his dark lashes fanning his skin. "mark" jackson says softly, the boy blinking his attention back up at jackson. revealing the myriad shades of sapphire that framed his thick lashes.marks pain seemed all to prominent, sunken eyes and the pronounced bags that followed under them. 

jackson brought a tentative hand to brush the boys cheek, " _please eat_ " he repeats. mark softly nods, melting into a jacksons gentle embrace. nuzzling the tip of his nose against jacksons hand, the older chuckling in response. 

"why don't you wear one of my other hoodies?" jackson asks, although earning a swift shake of the head from the small boy. "jinyoungie just had this one washed, see?" mark giggles, pulling the hoodie sleeve over his hand and shoving it in jacksons face.

the black-cherry aroma having faded, now completely lathered in marks saccharine lavender-pine fragrance. jackson intoxicated by the scent, chuckling as mark pressed his hoodie sleeve covered hand to his face. 

"i see" jackson silently chuckled, taking to his feet as he extended his arms out to pick up mark. in which mark happily accepted, winding his legs tightly around jacksons waist, resting his head upon the olders broad shoulder.

jackson carried the small, thin boy from the room. marks weight nearly equivalent to a feather, only further worrying jackson. carrying the small boy through the hallway, through the main room and towards the dining hall. 

having been one of the first to arrive as it was still quite early morning, only a few others seated around the tables. jackson and mark taking to their usual spot, jackson delicately placing mark in the chair next to him as he sat down.

"hey" a gentle voice called from behind the pair, mark flinching at the persons sudden appearance. youngjae, lathered in bruises and a busted lip stood in front of them, holding on gently to his stuffed cat as he placed it in marks lap.


	25. Chapter 25

youngjae stood behind the pair, stuffed cat in his clutches. "markie, i'm sorry" he begins. placing the cat gently in marks lap, mark flinching at his sudden movements. his lip visibly busted, a prominent bag lay under his left eye. 

jackson cuts youngjae a sharp glare, although only tightening his arm wrapped around marks shoulder. "i shouldn't of said anything without knowing, i'm sorry" youngjae repeats. jackson continues cutting him a glare, mark relaxing a bit as he nods. 

jackson knowing of marks forgiving nature, watching mark accept the stuffed cat into his arms. jackson not buying youngjaes apology, although mark choosing to forgive him. youngjae spots jaebum being drug over to the table by bambam. 

"can i have my friends back now?" bambam asks a bit softly, wishing for nothing more for then everyone to get along. youngjae nods a bit as jackson merely shrugs, still angry at the group. bambam squealing a bit as he dashes over to the other table to retrieve yugyeom, dragging the taller boy back over.

yugyeom had a scared to death expression plastered across his face. that exact expression aimed at jackson, fearing for another outburst. although soon comforted by his boyfriend, a small frown curling jacksons lips. 

jackson takes to his feet, unraveling himself from marks hand and making his way from the room. a puzzled look gracing marks angelic features as he quickly chases after jackson, the stuffed cat still in his clutches. 

once mark rounds the corner to the room hes instantly greeted by jackson hunched over the bed, staring at a photo of his mother. barely noticing marks presence as mark peered around the room corner. "jackie" he whispers softly. 

jackson jerks his head back in marks direction, taking to his feet once more as the small boy runs into his arms. although just before mark can ask whats wrong, jackson asks a question that nearly makes his heart skip a beat. "mark, are you scared of me?" 

"n━no" mark quickly whispers back in response, placing a soft kiss against jacksons clothed chest.  jackson arches a bit, taking a shaky breath. tears beginning to stream his cheeks, attempting to bury his face in the crook of marks neck. 

feeling marks small arms wrap him, jackson mumbling about how unfair life was between his hiccups and sobs. mark continues to comfort jackson, soothingly rubbing circles on his back. yelping when he feels jackson pick him up, and move them to the bed as jackson hovers over the smaller boy. 

jackson moves his head closer to marks, mark sits frozen from both fear and excitement. jackson leans in so that both their foreheads are resting upon each other, "thank you" jackson whispers. the both of them closing their eyes, breaths shaky. 

"thank you for being you" jackson repeats, his voice wavering. dear god jackson couldn't resist, marks intoxicating lavender-pine aroma flooding his senses. jackson leans in a bit closer, closing the distance between their lips. 

jackson innocently brushing their lips together, pulling mark into a gentle kiss. the kiss obliterating jacksons every negative thought, the worries of his day evaporating. marks body went rigid with surprise as trembles shook his body and a euphoric warmth blossomed within him. 

bringing one hand to rest at the back of jacksons neck. mark was breathless to say the least, allowing jackson to deepen their kiss.  their kiss slow and soft, comforting in the way words never could be. the world seemingly fell away within the pair.

jackson was addicted within their kiss, unable to be without mark, savoring each moment with him. the kiss his salvation, softly pressing another kiss to the seam of marks lips before pulling away. jackson hesitantly looks down at mark, the swirls of emotion he sees in marks flickering azure orbs nearly making his heart skip a beat. however before jackson could ponder on the swirling apprehension of emotions any longer, mark lets out a soft whisper. 

" _jackie_ " mark whispers, prolonging each letter to savor them. jacksons heart flutters at marks voice, never has a word sounded so beautiful, "i━i" mark stutters a bit. 

 _"i think i love you"_  


	26. Chapter 26

jackson hovered over mark for a moment, staring into his sapphire orbs. "i think i love you to" he whispers softly. jackson brushes his thumb along marks cheek, mark melting into jacksons gentle embrace. 

"if you could fly" jackson asks, "where would you go?" mark giggles in response. "if i could fly" mark says, " _i would fly away with you, and leave all this behind us_ " mark resting his palms at the back of jacksons neck. feeding a soft giggle into jacksons lips as jackson closes the distance between them. 

jackson breaks away, "thank you" his voice barely that of a whisper. jackson resting his forehead against marks as they both close their eyes. "for what?" marks voice wavering. "for being you" jackson finishes, leaning in to place another kiss against marks warm lips. 

they pull apart, taking shaky, shallow breathes. jackson holds marks head in his hands, pulling him into another passionate kiss, marks hands working around jacksons muscular frame. " _jackson_ " mark whispers as jackson pulls away, prolonging each letter, as if to savor them. 

never has a name sounded so beautiful, jacksons heart fluttering at the softness to marks tone. kissing mark was slow, soft and comforting in a way words could just never be. jacksons thumb caressing marks cheek, their breathes mingling. 

mark ran a hand down jacksons spine, pulling him down until their was no space left between them. until he could feel the erratic beating of jacksons heart against his own. marks tiny frame pressed against jacksons muscular stature. 

jacksons chest chiseled to perfection, as mark was left wondering what he did to deserve someone so perfect. whilst the same exact thought raced through jacksons mind, every feature of marks angelic. 

"you're so beautiful"  jackson whispers, god the world seemingly fell away when jackson was with mark. each and everyone of his problems, merely dissipated. jackson knew from the first kiss, that mark was his salvation. 

that he would dedicate his life to being with mark, if he lost mark he could quite possibly loose himself. because mark was now was half of what made jackson whole. and jackson saw no discourse with that, wanting to envelope himself in each and every moment of marks presence. 

because that kiss obliterated each and every one of jacksons negative thoughts. for the first time in forever, jacksons mind was locked into the present. to here, to here and now. the worries of his days merely a shimmer of the mist. 

jackson drunk on endorphins, his only desire was mark. leaning in to steal another kiss. the soft caress of marks lips becoming more firm, mark gently pressing jacksons body closer to his own. jackson savoring each moment of the kiss, savoring the softness of marks lips against his own, savoring the quickening of marks breath to match his own.

because a kiss, a kiss like this was a promise. a promise of more to come, salvation, a sanctuary. an end to countless tormented days. a beginning of so much more to come, and jackson. well jackson saw absolutely no discourse with it. 

"where would you go?" marks gentle voice resonating the surrounding silence. "if you could fly?" his question continues. "as long as i'm with you" jackson begins, "i will go anywhere you go"

mark giggles shyly in response, that damned giggle fluttering jacksons heart. quivering his soul, a feeling he had thought been long gone. a sensation only mark could make him feel, because only mark could bring him pure happiness. 

"i will go anywhere you go" mark whispers. fluttering his dark lashes shut, "and i will go, anywhere you go" jackson sealing their promise with a gentle kiss against marks cheek. lacing their fingertips together.


	27. Chapter 27

somewhere in between their kisses, and admiration for each other; mark and jackson slowly drifted to sleep. marks dark lashes fluttering open long before jacksons, curled at jacksons side. jacksons arm wrapped firmly around him. 

mark wiggles out of jacksons embrace, slipping from under his arm. mark swings his legs over the edge of the bed, rubbing his eye as he takes to his feet. gently shaking at jacksons arm to wake him up, jackson groggily burying his face further into the sheets. 

" _wakey, wakey, jackie_ " mark giggles, shaking jackson once more. jackson finally gazing up to marks angelic sight. mark pulls at jacksons arm in another attempt to wake him up, although jacksons gaze caught staring at the beautiful boy stood in front of him. 

"why are you looking at me like that?" mark asks curiously. leaning down next to the bed, on eye level with jackson as he stares back. "because" jackson begins. "because you are the most beautiful thing i have ever seen" 

mark giggles, covering his face with his sweater paws shyly. jackson wasting no time in uncovering them, placing a soft kiss against marks forehead before sitting himself up. jackson taking to his feet as mark stands up. 

lacing their fingertips together, jackson bringing marks hand up to his lips. pampering his hand with gentle kisses, mark letting out another soft giggle. jackson leads mark from the room, hand in hand as they make their way down the hallway. 

not making it quite far before bambam peaks his head out of his room. "my ship!" he exclaims, rushing up to the pair. mark tilts his head adorably to the side in confusion, bambam squealing in response to how adorable the small boy is. 

only further confusing mark, jackson chuckling as yugyeom makes his way from their bedroom. bambam dressed in a pair of his boyfriends pajama pants, falling off one of his hips as their much to large. 

also paired with one of yugyeoms old t-shirts, always opting for his boyfriends clothing instead of his own. much like mark who was dressed in one of jacksons hoodies, the black hoodie perfectly pairing his black leggings. both in which perfectly contrasted his porcelain complexion. 

the sleeves to the hoodie pulled over marks hands, the collar fallen just beneath his perched collarbones. while the hem pooled his thighs, nearly fallen down to his knees. bambam tugging at marks other hand, pulling him down the hallway. 

"we should get breakkie" mark says softly, jackson nearly fainting on spot. "mark" bambam says, stopping in his tracks. "if you get any cuter, i might actually pass out" he continues, placing both his hands on marks cheeks. 

bambam giggles as he drops his hands from marks cheeks, pulling him into a hug. "you're to adorable" he mumbles. "come on lets━" bambam begins, but is swiftly cut off by the sound of the main doors opening. 

"someone new?" bambam says curiously, rushing to the main room where the nurses are guiding someone. although before bambam can fully enter the room, jaebum has already rushed up to the group. 

"take mark to his room, now" he says, bambam furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "but━" he protests, "i said  _now_ " jaebum emphasizes, in which bambam quickly obligates as he grabs a hold of marks other hand. "lets go" he says softly. 

"stay" jaebum says to jackson before he walks away with bambam and mark. mark sadly looking back at jackson as bambam pulls him back into his room. "i need to be with mark" jackson says. 

"jackson" jaebum begins, folding one arm over the other. "that guy" he continues, glancing over at the man being guided in by the nurses. "i recognize his last name" jaebum sighs. jackson furrows his eyebrows together in confusion, as to what the man has anything to do with him. 

"marks ex-boyfriend, he was the one who set up mark being..attacked" jaebum says. "and that guy" he continues, " _that guy is his ex-boyfriends, brother"_  


	28. Chapter 28

"his own boyfriend set him up to be fucking raped?" jackson ask angrily. jaebum nods as jackson takes a step forward, gripping onto his arm to pull him back. "don't say a word to mark or anyone else that i told you" 

jackson, already fueled by rage glares at the man being guided by the nurses. "i want him kept away from mark, he knows him" jaebum whispers. "i need to be with mark" jackson repeats as he turns to make his way down the hallway. 

giving jaebum no time to protest, rounding the corner back to his bedroom. mark darting into his arms the moment he enters the room. jackson wrapping both his arms around mark, whom is burying his face deeply into jacksons chest. 

"hi baby" jackson cooes, kissing the top of marks head. "missed you" mark mumbles against jacksons chest. "missed you too baby" jackson speaks softly. bambam giving jackson a worried look as he sits with yugyeom on their bed. 

"you have to listen to me okay?" jackson says softly, mark nodding against his chest. "its about your ex.." mark freezes in jacksons arms. his only movements that of his trembling against jacksons skin. 

mark can't even manage to stutter out a word, only babbling out incoherent sentences. every fiber of his being trembling against jackson, just at the name of his ex. "i━i" mark softly manages to stutter out. his voice barely that of even a whisper. 

"shh baby he can't hurt you, i won't let him" jackson whispers back gently. soothingly rubbing circles along side marks back. "his brother was admitted, but baby i won't let anything happen to you, okay?" 

mark nods against jacksons chest, tightening his arms around jacksons muscular frame. "bam, yugyeom, jaebum, youngjae and i are all gonna protect you" jackson promises. bambam and yugyeom nodding in agreement sat behind the pair. 

"markie no one will let anything happen to you" bambam says softly. "here, lets go play cards and forget about him, yeah?" bambam suggests, every piece of him praying the man wasn't seated in the main room. 

jackson convincing mark to go to the main room with them, although the boy still visibly in fear. following hid behind jackson, fingertips tightly laced together with jacksons. jackson humming gently to mark as they walked. 

mark not spotting the man, as he was blissfully unaware as to what he looked like. jackson seating mark at their usual table, although putting mark in the corner of the couch and sitting on his other side. 

wrapping his arm around marks shoulder and pulling him close. youngjae and jaebum having been sat waiting for them, yugyeom and bambam taking their seats around the table. "what do you guys wanna play?" jaebum asks quietly. 

"i propose lunatic pick-up sticks" bambam says proudly, yugyeom chuckling at his boyfriend. "whattt~?" bambam hums, leaning against yugyeom. "its fun!" he exclaims, placing a soft kiss against yugyeoms clothed chest. 

the group so caught up with their chatter, not realizing the figure approaching the table. jackson instantly wrapping both arms around mark the moment he notices the figure. "get the fuck out of here" jackson immediately growls.

mark burying his face into jacksons chest. "i don't want any trouble" the tall figure says, "my names jimin, i know mark" he begins. jaebum ready to jump the table, youngjae having to practically hold him back.

"i just wanted to know━" jimin smirks. "i just had a question for mark" he says simply. "and whats your fucking question?" jackson growls, his eyes growing darker by the second. "well" jimin says, bringing his gaze to mark.

"what was it like?" he smirks. "having over ten people having their way with you? having so many people inside you?" he asks as jaebum instantly jumps from his seat. youngjae struggling to hold him back as jimin continues to speak. 

"must of made you sore right? i could imagine" he says, a smirk plastered across his lips as mark stutters out a sob. "or maybe you enjoyed it?" he suggests, "did you enjoy it,  _princess_?" jimin knowing princess was what all of the men had referred to mark as, including his ex-boyfriend.

the nickname sending mark completely over the edge. sobbing unceasingly against jacksons chest, jackson nearly unraveling himself from mark to jump onto the man. although jaebum quickly getting out of youngjaes grasp and beating him to it. 

the nurses having to pull away jaebum and jimin. pulling them apart as they drag the both of them away. although not before jimin can utter his last comment. "don't worry  _princess_ , we'll  _always find you_ " 


	29. Chapter 29

"i'll fucking kill you!" jaebum shouts as one of the many nurses forcibly drag him away. jimin chuckling all the while, instantly being forced into an angry jinyoungs office. jackson wrapping both arms around mark, who curled tightly into his chest.

mark attempting to hiccup out coherent sentences in between his sobs, to no avail. sobbing as he curled into jackson's chest, bringing his knees to his own chest. "baby, shh i'm right here" jackson says softly.

inching away from mark so he can pull the boy into his arms and pick him up. marks legs wrapping his waist, resting against jacksons broad shoulder. the older carrying him back to their room, away from the distressed crowd of people that surrounded them.

one of the nurses attempting to follow jackson into their bedroom, jackson in turn growling lowly. the nurse knowing of jacksons defensive nature of mark, opting to leave the pair alone. mark sniffling against jacksons chest.

jackson lays mark down on their now shared bed. mark sobbing as he curls into the silken sheets, burying his face into the mattress. jackson hums a soft, gentle tune, laying down next to mark, wrapping both arms around him.

laying on his side to face mark, mark only curling closer to jackson and burying his face into jacksons chest. jackson continuing to hum as he pulls marks tiny frame closer to him. "y━you t━think i━im a s━slut" mark manages to stutter out, barely audible by jackson.

mark unable to stutter out another word before he bursts back into sobs. jackson bringing a tentative hand to stroke his fingers through marks hair. "no baby" he says softly, "shh". the thoughts accelerated in marks brain, silently begging for them to stop so he could breath, although they wouldn't.

his heart hammering inside his chest, his breath coming in gasps as jackson desperately attempts to calm him down. the visible room around mark spins, spins with the carousel of fear and thoughts within his head.

jackson strokes marks back, planting kisses all along his forehead. mark shaking as if his brain is demanding energetic expenditure of an athlete. although his limbs won't follow through, his only movements that of his trembling against jackson.

mark rocking, rocking and rocking. jackson swaying them back and forth into the silken mattress. and suddenly mark bursts, talking and talking. talking as if he doesn't have enough time to say what he needs to.

babbling out incoherent sentences. his words crowded together, whilst some were missing. jackson unable to make out what hes saying, marks thoughts jumping from one another. all his fears tumbling from his lips, unchecked by his brain.

marks fingers white knuckled from clutching onto jacksons shirt so harshly. clutching onto him as if hes his lifeline.  as if  a ghostly hypodermic of adrenaline pierces his heart. his ribs heaving around as if bound by rope. breathing so heavily, panting.

his head, his thoughts a carousel of fear. spinning out of control and pinning his thoughts onto one another. his thoughts collapsing, piling up. marks body shaking uncontrollably. his heart rate accelerated as he replayed jimins words over and over on loop.

"baby" jackson begins, rubbing circles alongside marks back. "mark i love you" jackson whispers. and mark waited for the 'but', because when it came to love their was always a 'but'. yet jacksons arms only came around him  and whispered, "mark, i love you no matter what".

mark sniffles against jacksons chest before bringing his gaze up. teary eyed as his eyes meet jackson, and those damned eyes, flickering azure orbs intoxicating jackson with each gaze. jackson brings one hand to cuff marks cheek.

his thumb brushing the tears that rid marks cheek, mark melting into jacksons embrace. "i will never stop loving you" jackson whispers, his voice barely that of a whisper although mark understanding all the same.

jackson continues to brush the tears from marks cheek. marks dark, perfectly curled lashes fluttering shut. brimmed with heavy tears.

although mark allowing himself to relax into jackson's arms. "i don't think i love you mark, i know i love you" jackson whispers. his thumb tracing marks jawline.

"mark" jackson begins very softly .  _"be mine" he whispers._


	30. Chapter 30

mark was out of breath, out of time. jackson made him feel special, jackson made him feel loved. jackson made him feel something, when life had made him completely numb. although jackson was quite the opposite from him.

jackson was a man who always saw the light, way before the dark. whilst mark simply saw the end of things, way before the start. and that petrified him, an end. because their was always an end to everything, and that included jackson. 

he gulps inwardly, despite his fears, allowing the words to breathlessly escape his lips. "i━i" he says softly. bringing his gaze down a bit, instilling doubt within jackson. mark sighs against his breathed pause before bringing his gaze back up. 

"i was already  _yours_ " he whispers, bringing a tentative hand up to cuff jacksons cheek. jackson widens his eyes in surprise. "and i will always, be  _yours_ " he murmurs softly, cupping both of jacksons cheeks and pulling him into a gentle kiss. 

the innocence to marks kissing was prominent, from a lack of movement and stilled breath. jackson taking a bit of control when he slipped his tongue between the small part in marks lips, creating a delicate friction between the two. 

the two moving in sync just before jackson added more pressure. marks trembling hand eventually finding its way to rest on the back of jacksons neck. seemingly forgetting the need to draw breath as jackson finally pulled a way, mark panting a bit. 

"everything about you is so...beautiful" jackson whispers, brushing his thumb against marks cheek. to which mark melts in his embrace, nuzzling his nose against jacksons fingertips as he feeds out a soft giggle. 

"and nothing, nothing is going to make me think otherwise" jackson says softly. pressing a kiss to marks forehead, listening to marks calm, shallow breaths. "r-really?" mark whispers, breath finally reverting back to normal. 

jackson nods, chuckling a bit. about to lean in for another kiss before he hears a light shuffling behind him. bambam and yugyeom peered around the door corner with widened eyes. "we were just uh-" bambam says, stumbling over his words a bit. 

"making sure he was okay" jackson chuckles, finishing their sentence for them. wiping the dried tears from marks cheek. "are you alright now, baby?" jackson coos, cuffing marks cheek. mark nods quickly, kissing jacksons fingertips. 

"no ones going to hurt you, i won't let them" jackson whispers just before sitting up. holding his hand out for mark to take, lacing their fingertips together and gently assisting mark in taking to his feet.

"markie~" bambam hums quietly, slowly walking over to mark and wrapping both arms around his tiny frame. "none of us think any different of you okay?" he whispers, hugging mark tightly. 

"you're probably the strongest out of all of us" bambam giggles before pulling away. "and none of us will let anything happen to you" he continues. jackson squeezing marks hand in reassurance. 

"come sit with us, they let jaebum sit back down after he calmed down" yugyeom mumbles. his tall stature leaning against the doorway, arms folded over one another. "you wanna go?" jackson whispers, feeling marks hand tremble a bit against his own. 

although mark still nodding slowly. jackson gently guiding him from the room, marks timid footsteps trailed quickly behind jackson. bambam and yugyeom held hand-in-hand, leading the pair back to their usual table. where jaebum and youngjae sat waiting for them.

jaebum still visibly angered, youngjae attempting to soothe him. although the moment jaebum spots mark, the anger seemingly dissipating from him. youngjae sighs softly, knowing jaebum was still blindly in love with mark. saying nothing of it, because in truth he still loved mark as well. 

youngjae sorrowfully crunches into his chapped lower lip. eyes locked on mark as they all took to their seats, mark of course curled at jacksons side. one of jacksons arms wrapped around marks slim waist, pulling him closer to his chest.

a hue of jealousy consuming both youngjae, and jaebum at the sight.


	31. Chapter 31

"jackson?" jinyoung said softly, peering his head around his office door. "can i speak to you, please?" he says the moment jackson turns his head back. jackson sighs, unraveling his arm from around marks waist. 

"we'll be fine, don't worry" bambam reassures him, scooting his chair closer to sit next to mark. jackson quickly presses a kiss to marks forehead, making his way towards jinyoungs office. occasionally glancing back to see mark giggling due to the likely hood of bambams bad jokes.

jinyoung closes the door behind jackson, sighing once he does so. "mark has made some major improvements with you around" jinyoung begins. "i don't want to take that away from him, but.." 

jinyoung sighs against his breathed pause, jackson furrowing his brows together in response. "we can't have another outburst like before, jimin will remain here until we find another center to move him to" he says. 

"that being said, i need you to stay away from him, and if he approaches you ignore him and inform one of us" jinyoung finishes. jackson nodding along, biting into his chapped lower lip. 

"alright" jackson mumbles. agreeing to jinyoungs terms, as he didn't want to be transferred away from mark. jinyoung takes to his feet, opening the door for jackson to guide him out the office. 

"and jackson" he hums softly. "i was thinking maybe you, mark, jaebum, yugyeom, bam, youngjae and i could all do a group therapy session?" he proposes. jackson gazes back at his group of friends sat around the table, before nodding slowly. 

jinyoung agreeing to set it up soon, guiding jackson back out his office. mark turning his head back just in time to see jackson walking back up to them, his sweater covered hands instantly making grabby hands at him.

jackson chuckles faintly, bambam moving back over to his own seat to make room for jackson to sit down. jackson takes his seat, wrapping one arm around marks shoulder. to which mark instantly curls up against him, resting his head against jacksons chest. 

jackson rubs circles along marks side, playing cards with his available hand. bambam proposing a new game, all the groups attention focused on the cards until they heard the double set doors open and close.

bambam instantly scoffs, jackson turning around to see jimin making his way back into the main room. "don't look" he says softly, hearing mark let out a faint whimper against his chest. mark wraps one arm around jacksons waist, snuggling closer to jacksons chest.

jackson hears jimins faint chatter with a group behind them. obviously directing their conversation towards mark, attempting to draw their attention out. "so" bambam purposely clears his throat, attempting to distract mark.

"did jinyoung talk to you guys about group therapy yet?" he says excitedly. mark shakes his head against jacksons chest, while the rest nod. "it'll be fun markie~" bambam hums, leaning over the table and earning a giggle from mark. 

"ugh if you get any cuter i might faint" bambam says dramatically. leaning against yugyeoms shoulder and cuddling closer to his boyfriend. mark giggles again, a small smile curling his lips. 

although that smile quickly fading the moment he overhears jimins light chatter. "hes nothing but a  _slut_ " jimin says faintly. "baby, ignore him" jackson whispers, placing his cards on the table and wrapping both arms around mark. 

the group continuing to make derogatory comments towards mark. jaebum about to jump from his seat, although quickly soothed by youngjae. yugyeom takes to his feet, disappearing into jinyoungs office.  

mark stutters out a sob against jacksons chest, "just listen to be angel, the sound of my voice" jackson whispers lowly. continuing to whisper praises to mark about how well he was doing, attempting to sooth the possibly of an panic attack. 

mark feels his breath picking up, barely able to breathe once he hears jimin call him a whore. "i love you, i love you so, so much" jackson whispers. bringing one hand down to marks thigh, rubbing circles along his inner, upper thigh. 

"jimin, my office, now" jinyoung quickly shouts. yugyeom appearing back out of his office, taking his seat back at the table and folding his hands together. "asshole" jimin mutters as he passes by the group.

"honestly, fuck you" jaebum mumbles back quietly, just loud enough for jimin to hear. youngjae quickly hushes him, knowing jinyoung couldn't protect them from another outburst. mark visibly trembling, jackson still attempting to soothe him. 

"markie, why don't we go get sebastian?" youngjae hums quietly. "go baby, its okay" jackson whispers quietly, pressing a soft kiss to marks forehead. mark nods, shakily taking to his feet and following youngjae. 

youngjae guides him to his shared room with jaebum. marks timid footsteps trailing behind him and rounding the corner, although the moment he enters bumping into youngjae. whom was already stood waiting for him. 

"mark" youngjae whispers, gently pushing mark onto his bed. hovering over marks tiny stature in an instant. "i love you" he murmurs softly, wiping the tears from marks cheeks with his thumb.

"i-i.." mark whimpers softly, inching away from youngjae. just before youngjae can quickly cup both of marks cheeks, closing the distance between them and kissing him gently. 


	32. Chapter 32

mark weakly attempts to push youngjae off of him. youngjae only deepening their kiss, mark feeding a soft cry through his lips before youngjae pulls away. "mark. mark please" youngjae pleads, quickly gripping marks wrist the moment he attempts to stand.

mark winces in pain, youngjaes grip tightening around the cuts still healing against his wrist. shakily attempting to free himself of youngjaes grasp, although quickly whipped back by him. "please, i'm sorry, i love you" youngjae says, stumbling over word like apologies.

" _p-p-please dont h-hurt me_ " mark whimpers softly, still attempting to shake youngjaes grip. mark finally frees himself, darting out of the room despite youngjaes hushed attempts to stop him. 

jackson noticing him as he ran by, watching mark run into jinyoungs office and slam the door shut. jinyoung flinches to the sound of the door slamming, mark panting heavily as he backed himself against the door. 

"i'll call you back" jinyoung mumbles into the phone, quickly placing it down on the desk. "mark? whats wrong?" jinyoung asks softly, taking to his feet and slowly approaching mark. 

mark stutters out a sob, falling against jinyoungs chest in tears. "w-why.. do people a-always hurt me..t-they a-always touch me w-when i say no, a-and" mark talking as if he didn't have enough time to say what he wanted.

breath heavily picking up, stumbling over his words. his sobs only interrupted by his need to draw his heavy breaths. "did jackson hurt you?" jinyoung asks softly, guiding mark over to take seat on the couch in his office. 

mark shakily following behind, collapsing onto the couch and erupting back into tears. "y-youngjae, h-h-he" mark stutters, choking over his own sobs. "h-he kissed me a-and" is all mark manages to say before he brings his knees to his chest. 

"i-i didn't want him t-to he just d-did" mark blabbers out, his words fragmented and shoved together. "j-just like  _b-before_  t-they made me they  _f-f-forced_  me..i-i didn't want t-to" he sobs into his knees unceasingly. 

"mark what happened to you  _before_  will never happen again, i promise" jinyoung whispers. mark shudders at the thought of his past, "w-why can't they j-just leave me alone, w-why wont they let me b-be happy?" 

"jackson he'll..he'll h-hate me now" mark hiccups. furiously wiping his cheeks to rid himself of the tears that stream them. leaving them a molten crimson, continuing to choke on his own sobs.

"jackson is an understanding man, i'm sure he won't hate you" jinyoung says very softly. bringing a tentative hand to marks back, rubbing circles against his back. "why don't we tell him together?" jinyoung proposes. 

to which mark instantly shakes his head. "w-what if he hurts h-him?" mark sniffles a bit. "i'm scared" he whispers, burying his face into his knees. "i'll make sure that doesn't happen" jinyoung whispers back. 

mark wipes his cheek once more, glancing up at jinyoung with teary eyes. "o-okay.." he nods slowly, attempting to relax back into the couch. "i'll go get him" jinyoung says, smiling and taking to his feet before disappearing out the office.

"jackson?" jinyoung calls softly. jaebum, bambam, yugyeom and jackson still sat around the table. presuming youngjae to still be in his room, jackson placing his cards down on the table and turning his head back.

"could mark and i speak to you for a minute?" to which jackson instantly furrows his eyebrows together. jackson takes to his feet, forcing a small smile to curl his lips. following jinyoung back into his office, where mark was still curled up sobbing. 

"baby? oh my god what happened?" jacksons features instantly shadowed with worry. practically darting towards mark and sitting down next to him. mark rests his head against jacksons chest, jacksons black-cherry aroma seemingly enough to calm his nerves. 

jinyoung sits back down at his desk, adjusting his black rimmed glasses just before folding his hands together. "do you want to tell him mark?" jinyoung asks, mark almost instantly shaking his head against jacksons chest.

"well.." jinyoung begins, clearing his throat. "mark had a situation with youngjae, that was out of his control" jinyoung says. jackson nods slowly, glancing back down at mark sobbing against his chest. 

"did he hurt you?" jackson whispers, mark shaking his head a bit. "mark says youngjae kissed him without his permission" jackson sighs softly, hugging mark tightly. "baby is that what you're so worked up about?" he chuckles a bit, wiping the tears gently from marks cheek. 

"d-do you forgive me?" mark hiccups. jackson only chuckles again, pressing a soft kiss to marks forehead. "i have nothing to forgive you for, you did nothing wrong" jackson says softly. marks sobs stifle, his breathing steadying as he listened to the beat of jacksons heart. 

"come on beautiful, lets go lay down, yeah?" he says, lacing his fingertips together with marks. bringing marks hand to his lips and pressing a kiss to marks curled fingertips. he guides mark to stand, squeezing his hand in reassurance. 

mouthing a quick 'thank you' to jinyoung as they made their way from the office. bambam and yugyeom gazing back with worried looks, while jaebum had disappeared to console youngjae. 

"here baby, sit with them while i go talk to youngjae" jackson says, guiding mark over back to the table and sitting him down next to yugyeom. "what happened?" yugyeom says, worry pervading his tone. 

"youngjae kissed him without his permission" jackson says, sighing. bambam instantly furrows his brows together, pushing his chair from the table and standing up. "i'm gonna talk to him" bambam says, visibly angered. 

jackson quickly kissing mark on the cheek, promising to remain calm and leaving him with yugyeom. mark rests his head on yugyeoms broad shoulder, listening to yugyeom tell him silly stories in an attempt to calm him down.

jackson glances back at the two, mark giggling a bit through his tears. following bambam, who was walking with a quickness into jaebum and youngjaes shared room. rounding the corner to see youngjae sat on the bed with jaebum. 

"you" bambam says rather angrily. "you knew what hes been through, you knew he was raped, by multiple people at once and you knew it traumatized him" bambams words angrily smashed together. 

"you knew what hes been through, and when hes finally showing improvement you decide to ruin it by touching him without his permission?" he scoffs. folding his arms over one another and leaning against the door frame. 

"if you really cared about mark, you'd be happy that hes finally happy. hes been here longer then i have, hes tried to kill himself multiple times, you know all this and still touch him without his permission, knowing it would only scare him" bambam says without taking a breath.

"and you" he says, pointing his attention to jaebum. "you're no better, both of you treat jackson and him terribly for what? all because he doesn't like you back" the two just staring back at him with widened eyes.

"if you really cared about him, and loved him as much as you claimed. then you'd be happy for him, so either stop treating him like trash or stay away from him" bambam huffs, making a quick exit out the room.


	33. Chapter 33

jackson glances back at jaebum and youngjae before following bambam out the room. bambams heavy footsteps pattering across the room and back towards the table. sitting down rather angrily next to yugyeom. 

"whats wrong babe?" yugyeom whispers, giving his full attention to bambam once he sat down. mark curls up against jackson, bringing his knees to rest across jacksons lap. bambam sighs softly, leaning over the table. 

"mark, darling listen to me" bambam says softly. "if one of them so much of fucking touches you without your permission, i will rip their throat out myself" he murmurs. seemingly forgetting about marks sensitivity as the words escape him. 

"d-don't hurt t-them.." mark sniffles, bambam instantly consumed by guilt. "mark baby, their hurting you" he whispers. glancing over at jaebum and youngjae entering jinyoungs office, cutting them both a sharp glare. 

jackson tightens his arms around mark, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of marks head. "lets go get some rest, sweetheart" jackson whispers. he guides mark to stand, mark shakily trailing behind him as they made their way back to their room.

mark curls beneath the duvets first, jackson joining him and wrapping one arm around him. mark snuggles up against his chest, attempting to hold back his tears to no avail. "ev-everyone a-always t-touches me and for-forces me when i say n-no" he says softly, stuttering out a sob. 

"wh-why doesnt anyone l-listen when i say no.." he whispers. jackson hugging him tightly in response, kissing the top of his head.  mark clearly still traumatized, although only feeling safe so tightly wound in jacksons arms of serenity. 

"i know what you've been through, darling" jackson whispers back. "yo-you probably think im a s-slut" marks voice wavering. jacksons heart nearly breaking in two at the sound of him crying. "baby, hey, look at me" jackson says, pulling away from mark.

mark gazing up at jackson with glossy, teary eyes. tears still running down his crimson flushed cheeks. "you did not have a choice, darling" jackson whispers, using his thumb to brush the tears from marks cheek. 

"what happened with youngjae, and your ex..it wasn't your choice, okay?" he says. "you are not a slut, you are so, so, so strong" he continues. "i am not here to force you to open up to me, i'm not here to force you to talk about the horrible things that happened to you, i'm here for you, because i love you" 

"i am in love with you, for you, not for your past and i'm not here to make you relive those things" jackson leans in, pressing a soft kiss to marks forehead. "if you wanna talk about it, then we can, if not, we don't have to" he whispers. 

"l-later?" mark stutters softly, jackson nodding. "we'll talk about it later" jackson brushing his thumb against marks cheek. mark snuggles back up against jacksons chest. listening to the rhythmic beat of jacksons heart, steadying his breath with ease. 

his breaths eventually averting back to normal, shallow, soft. jackson pulls the duvets over top of them fully, feeling mark nuzzle his face against his chest. jackson only mark had fallen asleep minutes later, when marks arm wrapped around him loosened. 

marks small body melting against jacksons. the two raveled together as if they were two ribbons interlaced in a perfect fit. jackson kisses the crown of marks head, whispering a quick "i love you" before allowing himself to drift to sleep. 


	34. Chapter 34

jackson, as usual awoke before mark. unraveling himself from the smaller boy and gazing down at him. mark finally appearing to be sleeping peacefully. leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. 

jackson moves to swing his legs over the edge of the bed. when he feels a small hand wrap his wrist and gently pull him back. marks dark lashes fluttering up at him, gazing at him sleepily. "and when did my baby get soo strong?" jackson chuckles.

"when you kept leaving me alone all cold" mark whispers softly. his tone giving away the fact of how tired he truly was. jackson lays back down, mark crawling ontop of him and resting his head against jacksons chest.

"warm" mark giggles, snuggling his face into jacksons chest. jackson wraps both arms around him, hugging him tightly. mark just about to drift back to sleep when a chirping bambam resonates the surrounding silence.

"you're up, great!" he exclaims, peaking his head around the corner. "well now we are" jackson groans, throwing his head back. "its almost time to eat, come on~" bambam hums, jumping up and down happily. 

yugyeom appears behind bambam, wrapping his arms around his waist. leaning in and whispering something against his ear, causing bambam to giggle. "we're going to the 'bathroom' hurry up and get up" bambam smirks, winking as he turned around.

mark, innocent as could be having a puzzled look gracing his angelic features. tilting his head to the side adorably, "wh-why did he wink?" mark asks softly, jackson stumbling over his words in an attempt to scramble up an answer. 

"probably just thinks he might slip in the bathroom again, he does that alot" jackson says. scratching the back of his head, mark nods in response. "hes clumsy" mark giggles, crawling off top of jackson. 

mark waddles to the corner where their shelf is, jackson not even realizing mark had stripped himself of the hoodie he was wearing. only catching a glimpse of mark when he turned around, a frown curling his lips.

cuts that jackson presumed were from his last suicide attempt covered his wrists. while visible scars lathered his tiny wrists, arms and chest. mark doesn't notice jacksons gaze, humming a soft tune while he decides what hes going to wear today.

opting for his baby blue sweater, that was much to large for him. pulling it over his head, and slipping his arms through the sleeps. jackson averts his gaze, knowing him staring would only making mark more self conscious. 

mark changes into a new pair of tight black leggings, the sweater hem falling just above his knees. while the sleeves fell well over his hands, and the collar of the sweater hung just beneath his perched collarbones. 

mark takes seat on the edge of the bed, turning away from jackson so he could get changed. innocently covering his eyes with his palms, swaying back and force. jackson only chuckles, changing into a pair of black slacks. 

slipping off his shirt, and putting on a long-sleeved white button up. tucking it beneath his slacks, and rolling the sleeves up to his elbows. "all done, precious" jackson says, mark uncovering his eyes and turning around. 

"yay!" mark giggles happily, jumping up from the bed. wrapping both his arms around jacksons muscular arm, leaning against his broad shoulder. the pair making their way into the main room, waiting for bambam and yugyeom to finish up their dirty antics in the bathroom.

jackson takes seat on the couch next to their usual table. mark curls up against him, resting his head against jacksons chest. youngjae and jaebum sat in another corner of the room, youngjaes eyes lighting up when he saw mark. 

jaebum occupied talking to a few of his friends until he felt youngjae tug at his shirt. jaebum turns his head, jackson and mark to caught up in their adoration for each other to notice the two staring at him.

"i need to talk to mark alone" youngjae whispers. "figure out a way to get jackson away from him.." he continues to whisper to jaebum. jaebum sighs softly before responding, "mark has therapy after breakfast, i'll tell mark i need to talk to him in the bathroom after therapy" jaebum begins.

"wait in the bathroom for him, then i'll get jackson into one of our rooms and talk to him while he thinks marks still in therapy" he finishes. "just don't do anything stupid" jaebum mumbles.


	35. Chapter 35

jackson happily fed mark breakfast, the pair sitting with bambam and yugyeom. while jaebum and youngjae sat with other friends. although youngjaes gaze caught on mark the entire time, ideas brewing in his head at the sight of mark happily with jackson. 

after breakfast is finished, yugyeom and bam opt to take alone time in their room. jackson walking mark to therapy, kissing him gently before mark made his way into the office.   
oh and babe, jaebum told me bam needed to talk to you in the bathroom after therapy, something about him getting out soon" jackson says. 

jackson obvlious to the fact jaebum had lied to him. luring him away from mark so youngjae could get mark alone. mark watches as jaebum approaches jackson before he goes into jinyoungs office.

jackson and jaebum making their way to jaebum and youngjaes shared bedroom. presuming that they would be talking. mark shakes off the nervous feeling he has, trusting jackson completely. 

"good morning, mark" jinyoung hums, adjusting the papers on his desk. mark tugs his sweater sleeves over his hands, mumbling a soft 'good morning' in return. taking his seat in one of the winged chairs in jinyoungs office. 

"so.." jinyoung begins, "how are you feeling this morning?". mark folds his hands in his lap, tensing up a bit when he wasn't around jackson. "go-good" mark whispers, only ever not stuttering when he was around jackson. 

although jinyoung had been treating mark for months, so he knew how to be patient with mark. "lets talk about jackson" jinyoung smiles. "w-what about him?" mark stammers, fiddling with the ends of his sweater sleeves.

"how does he make you feel?" jinyoung asks, taking notes in his notepad. "happy.." mark whispers, "s-special, and s-safe.." he continues quietly. "do you feel secure when you're around him?" jinyoung asks. 

mark nods quickly, pondering on his thoughts. "how have your panic attacks been? does he help when they occur?" he continues. mark nods once mark, relaxing back into the chair the more they talked about jackson.

"he ho-holds me, and tells me n-nice things" mark says softly. jinyoung continues to take note, readjusting his thick black-rimmed glasses. "what kind of nice things does he tell you?" jinyoung asks, using a more compassionate tone with mark then usual. 

"so-sometimes he stares at me, and t-tells me that im the m-most be-beautiful thing hes ever, e-ever seen" mark giggles a bit. jinyoung smiles up at him, pleased with the fact mark was making wonderful progress. 

"a-and he do-doesnt make me talk when i do-don't wanna" mark whispers. "he keeps you within you comfort zone, but pushes you to step out of it sometimes in a healthy manner?" jinyoung asks, mark nodding instantly. 

"mhm!" he exclaims, rocking in his seat a bit. "now, i think im gonna up some of your medications, to try to keep your anxiety at bay" jinyoung says, jotting a few ideas down. "and we'll up your anti-depressants, as well as a few other things" he finishes. 

"but i would like you to start depending on the medication less" he smiles. "i-i can d-do that" mark stutters softly. jinyoung doesn't bring up youngjae, due to mark seeming relatively calm today and not wanting to trigger any dark memories. 

"well, i think thats enough for today, try to make this day good, alright?" jinyoung hums. mark nods, listening to the few tips jinyoung gave him about calming down. mark vaguely remembers needing to talk to bambam, making his way to the bathroom. 

he hums a soft tune as he opens the bathroom door, only greeted with darkness the moment he steps in. he flicks the light switch on, although immediately slammed against the door the moment it closes. 

mark lets out a whimper, one hand covering his mouth while the other is resting on his hip. youngjae pressing him against the door, whispering a quick "shh". mark squirms in an attempt to get free, although to no avail as youngjae was much more stronger then him. 

"he doesn't love you markie, not the way we love you" youngjae says softly. leaning in to press kisses to marks neck, earning another muffled whimper from him. youngjae slips one hand beneath marks sweater, running a hand up marks slim side. 

"you're so beautiful, he doesn't deserve an angel like you"  he whispers. tears swelling in marks eyes, streaming his cheeks and running down youngjaes hand covering his mouth. desperately bucking and squirming beneath youngjaes grasp. 

"you have to love me markie, you have to. only i can protect you, only i can love you" he continues to kiss down marks neck. sucking a bruise into the flawless porcelain skin. he runs a hand down marks slim side, feeling every crease of marks perfect physique. 

mark sinks back against the door, sobbing messily into youngjaes palm. youngjae withdraws his palm, unbuttoning his slacks while kissing up to marks ear. he tugs his jeans down, moving his hand to pull marks leggings down.

"i'll show you how only i can love you" he whispers. 


	36. Chapter 36

****

bambam peaked his head around jaebums bedroom door. "wheres mark?" he hums softly, "i thought he was talking to you?" a puzzled look gracing jacksons features. "why would be talking to me?" bambam turning to face yugyeom with a confused expression. 

"maybe hes still in therapy" jackson says, worry pervading his tone. "yuggie just got out of jinyoungs office, hes been in there for thirty minutes" jackson having not even realized half an hour had passed by.

turning to jaebum, almost instantly hearing shouting from the main room. jackson jumps from his seat, although quickly grabbed by yugyeom and turned the other way. " _d-don't look_ " bambam mumbles, audibly gulping. 

yugyeom attempts to hold jackson back, although jackson nearly the same height as him and much stronger. jackson manages to escape his grasp, just long enough to see the nurses manhandling a half-dressed youngjae away from the bathroom. and jinyoung screaming for someone to call the cops. 

jackson just barely catching a glimpse of mark in jinyoungs arms. only dressed in his large baby-blue sweater, blood running down his thighs and legs. sobbing messily into jinyoungs chest, visibly barely able to breath. 

jackson only able to make out mark screaming for him, the nurses rushing everyone into their rooms. jackson stands frozen, mouth agape. instantly attempting to rush over to mark, although quickly held back by yugyeom and bambam. 

the two drag him into their room, completely ignoring jaebum's pleads for them to listen to him. tears beginning to run down jacksons cheeks the moment yugyeom sat him down on the edge of their bed. 

"m-maybe h-he cut him or h-he scratched.." jackson babbles out, words jumbled together and some fragmented. bambam stares at yugyeom with widened eyes, both of them silently knowing jackson was in denial as to what he had just seen. 

the three sit there, in complete silence other then jacksons sobs and the shouting from the main room. yugyeom rubs circles along jacksons back, jacksons knees brought to his chest and face buried into his knees. 

ten minutes later, the pair still sat in silence. hearing jaebum being called by one of the nurses, and presumably escorted to the police to make a statement. only after hearing the commotion does jinyoungs heavy footsteps enter the room. 

"jackson.." he says softly, without a word jackson steps up from the bed. following jinyoung out of the room, and into his office. droplets of marks blood scattered around the floor, jackson stuttering out a sob as he trails behind jinyoung into his office. 

jinyoung sighed heavily, taking seat at his desk and folding his hands together. jackson sits down in the chair he knows mark liked, because mark always talked about how it was his favorite. because he could curl up in it, and jackson does exactly what he knew mark loved doing, curling up in the chair. 

"jackson, i..i don't normally do this but.." jinyoung begins, sighing once more. "mark was very, violently...sexually assaulted" jinyoung says quietly. "i saw blood" jackson manages to say in between his tears.  

"d-did he cut him? did he.." jackson asks, to which jinyoung instantly shakes his head. "the blood you saw is from the-" jinyoung says, soon cut off by jackson. "the rape" jackson finishes, almost as if he was saying it for himself. 

"yes.." jinyoung says, without sugar coating it. jackson stutters out another sob, jinyoung standing up from his chair, sitting down next to jackson with a box of tissues. "jackson" jinyoung says, sighing against his breathed pause. 

"mark has no family, he lived with his ex-boyfriend who.." jinyoung says, although soon cut off once more by jackson. "who set him up to be gang raped" jackson finishes, scoffing through his tears. 

"yes..after the incident a few months he was admitted here.." jinyoung says softly. "his parents are both deceased, no siblings, and the rest of his family refused to speak to us in the past" he continues. 

"mark, does not have anyone, and hes refused to speak to the police about youngjae" jackson widening his eyes at jinyoung. "under my authority, i can take you out of the ward and to the other wing of the hospital hes being treated in" he proposes. 

jackson having forgotten that they were in one of the biggest hospitals in the country. nodding as the words left jinyoung. "youngjaes been arrested, hes admitted to the assault, so truthfully they don't need marks statement but.." 

"but i know he needs you right now and i truly believe you're the only one who can help him" jinyoung whispers. "he was all you talked about for nearly every session we had, before you he refused to open up about anything.." jinyoung continues. 

"i promised i would never let it happen again" jackson whispers. "and it did, it did and its all my fault, i left him alone. i promised him i would never leave him alone again" tears still running down his crimson flushed cheeks. 

"you can't blame yourself..you couldn't of known" jinyoung says in an attempt to sooth him. "of course i could've fucking known! jaebum tricked me, i trusted him, mark trusted him and he just.." jackson not able to finish his sentence before consumed by sobs once more. 

"i let him down, he was getting better, he was smiling, he was laughing, he was happy he was finally fucking happy!" jackson shouts. jinyoung understanding his obvious anger, although a puzzled look gracing his features when jackson turned to face him. 

"his ex.." jackson says softly, voice barely that of a whisper. "how many?" jackson asks, referring to the gang rape marks ex-boyfriend had orchestrated against him. "i-i'm not suppose to disclose that-" jinyoung says, although jackson gazing at him with pleading eyes. 

"i don't know much, only what was on the reports" jinyoung mumbles. "there were ten of them, including his ex-boyfriend" he whispers to jackson. "why?" jackson asks, earning another sigh from jinyoung.

"his ex had grown abusive, mark finally gained the courage to leave him and was suppose to stay with a friend. but the ten of them broke into the friends apartment when only mark was home and.." jinyoungs voice wavering. 

"t-ten" jackson mumbles to himself. "and now youngjae.." he whispers, jinyoung visibly biting into his cheek. "i'll take you to see him, myself. although only if you assure me you'll remain calm" jinyoung whispers. 

"okay" jackson nods, wiping his cheeks furiously. ridding himself of the tears streaming them, although leaving his cheeks a molten crimson. 


	37. Chapter 37

jinyoung guides jackson from the ward. escorted by a nurse, making their way through the large hospital. jinyoung finally stops ahead of marks hospital room, jackson sighing heavily before nodding at jinyoung. 

and god does jacksons heart nearly snap in half at the sight. mark dressed in a hospital gown, clothes folded next to him. the blankets pulled up to his waist, sitting up against the bed. arm held out with an iv in it, tears still dried and streaming his cheeks. 

not noticing jackson and jinyoungs presence. gaze glued to his lap, sniffling a bit when jackson walked in. "i'll be outside the room" jinyoung whispers, not loud enough for mark to hear. marks gaze still locked to his lap until he heard jacksons honey-like voice speak.

"mark, baby.." jacksons voice wavering. instantly darting over to the chair next to his bed, practically falling in it. mark flinches, whimpering when he jerked his body back away from jackson. 

every fiber of his being visibly trembling, gazing at jackson with glossy, teary eyes. jackson knew, just by the look in marks eyes that mark thought jackson had betrayed him. jackson instantly shakes his head,  attempting to grab marks hand. 

mark jerks his hand back, widening his eyes at jackson. "baby, no, no, no.." jackson whispers, leaning over closer to mark. "baby i-i had no idea, jaebum lied to me, i swear to god" jackson babbles, rambling at this point. 

tears continue to well in marks eyes, streaming his cheeks. not wanting to believe that jackson had set him up to be violently assaulted, knowing his past and the events that had traumatized him. 

he very slowly inches his hand closer to jackson. allowing jackson to lace their fingertips together, jackson placing both hands over marks tiny palm. mark stutters out a sob, body engulfed in tremors. 

"baby, hey, listen to me" jackson says softly. "i swear to god i'm never going to leave you again" he promises, continuing to babble out word like apologies. mark only nods, still refusing to speak. 

although jackson, was quite understanding of the situation. never forcing mark into anything he didn't want to do, and if mark was mute, and didn't want to speak for a while. then that was perfectly okay with jackson, because he had marks best interest at heart. 

"i'll be here till you get transferred back, okay? i'm never leaving your side if you don't want me to, never ever" jackson placing a kiss against marks palm. mark nods once more, indicating he wanted to jackson to stay with him. 

"then ill stay, sweetheart, i'll stay forever" he whispers. mark gently pats the bed next to him, scooting over a bed. the hospital bed although small, mark was also quite small. being just barely 5'1, and under 100 pounds. 

jacksons 6'0 stature making it quite the task for him to share the bed with mark. although if thats what mark wanted, then he was going to get it. jackson sighs softly, smiling at mark and managing to crawl onto the bed next to him.

mark curls up against jackson, snuggling his face into jacksons chest. jackson wraps one arm around mark, allowing mark to rest his head against his chest. marks tiny body melting into jacksons, his panting breaths quickly reverting to normal.

because after everything he had been through, despite all that. somehow, he still felt safe so tightly wound in jacksons arms of serenity. only allowing him to drift to sleep in jacksons presance, jackson tightly hugging him. pressing a kiss to the top of his head. 

"i'm here sweetheart, and i'm never leaving again" he whispers.


	38. Chapter 38

jackson spends the day at marks side. the nurses and jinyoung allowing him to stay over night with mark as long as they were monitored. mark preparing to be transferred back to the the mental wing of the hospital. 

mark still not having spoken a single word. although clinging to jackson in every which way, limping a bit as he motioned to stand up. shakily collapsing beneath his own weight and thankfully into jacksons arms. 

jinyoung greets them outside the room. jackson having one arm wrapped around marks shoulder, while marks head rested against his chest. both of marks arms wrapped around jacksons waist, mark guiding him to follow jinyoung. 

mark would be limping if not for his hold on jackson, following them through the hospital and back towards their designated wing. bambam and yugyeom sat at their usual table, jaebum sat with them. the three hearing the large set of doors open, and jinyoung walk through. mark and jackson trailing behind him. 

mark dressed in a pair of leggings and jacksons black hoodie. the hoodie falling nearly to his knees, and the sleeves curled well over his hands. he keeps his head buried against jacksons chest, jackson ignoring all the stares they were getting. 

he instantly guides mark towards their room, not seeing bambam jump from his seat. jackson guides mark to their bed, jacksons pictures of his mother still pasted to the wall. mark curls up in the corner, next to the wall. jackson laying on his side next to him. 

jackson about to speak until he heard faint footsteps appear in the doorway. bambam peering around the corner, jaebum and yugyeom behind him. jackson cuts jaebum quite possibly the sharpest glare ever, ignoring them and cuddling up with mark. 

mark shakes his head against jacksons chest, indicating that he doesn't want to see them. "go away" jackson says bluntly. "jacks just listen for a second..please.." bambam says with pleading eyes. 

jackson only narrows his eyes, giving them about two seconds to speak before he told them to leave again. "jaebum tricked youngjae just like he tricked you.. none of us were involved and none of us knew" bambam says quickly.

before jackson can answer he hears mark let out a shaky exhale against his chest. "okay, now leave" jackson says, sitting mark up. "but-" bambam says, just as mark stutters out a sob. "i said leave so leave! you're scaring him" jackson shouts, causing bambam to flinch. 

he wraps both arms around mark, whispering how much he loved him. bambam understandably nods, mark having every reason to be terrified. marks breath goes shaky, unsteady. 

jackson sits up and pulls him into his lap. allowing mark to curl up against his chest. burying his face back into jacksons chest, listening to the steady beating of jacksons heart. allowing jacksons black-cherry fragrance to intoxicate him. 

seemingly enough to sooth his panic attacks, his breath returning to soft and shallow. jacksons arms tightly wound around him, hugging him tightly. jackson lays him back down, brushing his hand through marks bleach blonde hair. 

watching marks dark lashes flutter shut, mark snuggling up against jacksons chest. mark still having not said a single word, and despite everyone pushing him to. jackson didn't. because if that's what mark wanted to do, then jackson was perfectly okay with that. 


	39. Chapter 39

"baby, wake up" jackson whispers. mark sleepily rubs his eye, curling tighter against jacksons chest. jackson chuckles, sitting up and pulling a very sleepy mark into his lap. mark flutters his dark lashes open, gazing up at jackson.

"i wanna do this before everyone wakes up and starts bothering us" he whispers. a puzzled look gracing marks angelic features. "okay so" he says, mark sitting down in front of him. still dressed in jacksons large hoodie that fell nearly to his knees.

"when i was little, my mom had this deaf friend so she taught me some sign language" jackson begins. "i know you don't wanna talk right now baby and thats okay" he says, bringing a tentative hand to marks cheek.

"but this how your gonna tell me what you want without talking" he smiles. mark nods slowly, "and if you don't wanna talk for a while, thats okay baby" jackson says in his forgiving his nature. 

"okay so first!" jackson proclaims, "this is eat" he says motioning his hands. "this is want, and do not want" he hums, moving his hands accordingly. he continues to teach mark signs, the basic ones that they needed to communicate. 

mark taps his hand, shyly gazing up. pointing to himself, then making a heart with his hands and pointing towards jackson. jackson smiles, interlacing their fingertips. "i love you to baby" he hums.

"do you wanna stay in here, or go sit out?" jackson asks. mark ponders on it momentarily, before shrugging a bit. allowing jackson to pick, jackson gently guides him to stand. leading him out of the room and towards the main room, walking ahead of bambam and yugyeoms room.

where the two were sleeping cuddled up together until they heard jacksons heavy footsteps. bambam unravels himself from yugyeom, peaking up ahead of the blankets pulled over top of them. 

his eyes widen when he sees mark and jackson. instantly shaking yugyeom to wake him up, darting out of bed and throwing on clothes. jackson not noticing them, only guiding mark to the table they usually sat at. 

the two taking seat on the edge of the couch, jackson winding one arm around marks shoulder. allowing mark to rest against his chest, jackson whispering to mark when bambam and yugyeom rounded the corner.

a very sleepy yugyeom being drug into the main room by bambam. jackson finally seeing the pair, bambam crunching into his lower lip as he sits down. "hi" bambam says softly. mark snuggles against jacksons chest, jackson smiling at the pair. 

"hey" he says, yugyeom sleepily curling against bambams shoulder. "are you feeling any better markie?" bambam says, cuddling up with yugyeom. mark only shakes his head, a puzzled look gracing bambams features. 

"he isn't talking?" bambam asks, to which jackson nods. "he doesn't want to, i won't force him." jackson says, brushing one hand through marks bleach blonde hair. bambam nods understandably.

"are we still friends?" bambam asks with pleading eyes. mark nods, fluttering his dark lashes open to gaze back at bambam. "then thats all that matters" bambam hums, relaxing back into his seat and stroking yugyeoms hair. 

"now" he proclaims. "time for lunatic pick-up sticks"


	40. Chapter 40

jackson and mark make their way down the hallway of rooms. jacksons arm wound around marks shoulder, mark resting his head against jacksons chest as they walk. jackson having sat out late teaching mark how to play cards. while jaebum, yugyeom and bambam had already went to bed.

they walk down the hallway, although stopping when they hear muffled arguing. "you can't!" yugyeom shouts, although quickly hushed by bambam "yuggie just listen to me.." bambam pleads, jackson gazing down at mark as they stood listening. 

"no! you listen to me!" yugyeom shouts again, bambam desperately attempting to quiet him. "its not your body that i love! its you, your soul i love you" yugyeom says, voice wavering. obviously crying.

"and its not your body that i need! that's just what sleeps next to me!" he screams, bambam now stood frozen in front of him. "you're killing yourself, you're killing the only piece of you i can touch!" he shouts.

"why can't i make you believe you deserve everything? you can only starve so much until you'll die!" mark flinching every time yugyeom yelled. "why can't i love you enough to give you what you need? i'll give you anything just pl-please"

"please eat" they hear him whisper just before bursting into sobs. "okay" bambam whispers back. "i'll eat, i'll eat.." bambam says softly, attempting to hush his boyfriends sobs. 

mark tugs at the end of jackets shirt, indicating he wanted to go to their room. jackson quietly walks down the hallway, towards their room. bambam and yugyeom sat on the bed, bambam's thin arms wrapped around yugyeom. 

the two not noticing them, quietly making their way into the room. yugyeoms faint sobs resonating the surrounding silence, jackson sitting down on the edge of the bed. mark sits in his lap, gently pushing jackson down to lay against the bed. 

he holds jacksons arm, wrapping it around himself and snuggles against jacksons chest. jackson hugs him tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of marks head. the two relaxing into each other, until they hear faint footsteps ahead of their room.

jackson perks his head up, while mark pays it no attention. bambam peaks his head around the corner, only the light of the main room dimly illuminating his face. "jackson can i talk to you for a second?" he requests softly. 

jackson turns his gaze down towards mark, crunching his lower lip. "i really can't leave mark" jackson says, frowning a bit. bambam motions to turn back around the corner, although mark signing a quick 'its okay' that jackson had taught him. 

jackson nods slowly, making sure mark was sure before unraveling from the boy. he swings his legs off the edge of the bed, following bambam out into the hallway. bambam sighs softly, walking down the hallway a bit where yugyeom and mark couldn't hear them.

he leans against the door, folding one arm over another. "hows mark?" he asks softly. "hes fine, still not talking" jackson hums. bambam nods slowly, opting to skip straight to the point. 

"me and yuggie got in an argument and he admitted to me that hes been better, but has been faking it to stay here with me" bambam whispers. "an-and he wants me to get better so we can leave together" he finishes. 

"you think jinyoung would let you?" jackson whispers back. bambam only nods, jackson knowing jinyoung was an understanding person. "but i just wanted to make sure you, mark and i could all stay friends you know.." bambam says a bit shyly. 

"of course" jackson hums softly. "but" jackson adds. bambam furrows his eyebrows together, a puzzled look gracing his features. "i've accepted that my moms gone" jackson begins. "and she left everything to me, my ex even tried to come after me for it" he chuckles a bit.

"my dad died a while ago, and it had just been her and i for a while. she left me the house, her business, and everything else" he continues. "anyways, i have the money and i'd wanna help you and yugyeom get an apartment" he says, bambams mouth going agape.

"my aunts handling the business till i'm out. i can call her and have her set it up for you guys" he finishes. "are you serious?" bambam asks in disbelief, "you really don't have to.." although not finishing his sentence before jackson interrupts him. 

"i want to" jackson whispers. "but i do have one question" he whispers. "what were youngjae and jaebum here for?" bambams gaze instantly dropped. "youngjae was bipolar, and jaebums like me.." bambam whispers. 

"he is?" jackson asks, truly having not noticed jaebum was anorexic. "mhm.." bambam nods. "you should really give him another chance..he loves mark and didn't have anything to do with it.." 

jackson only sighs, putting aside his jealousy of other men having feelings for mark. "okay, i will" he whispers softly. bambam lets out a squeal, hugging him and thanking him over and over again.


	41. Chapter 41

jackson makes his way back to his room, mark seated on the edge of his bed playing with one of his hoodies. "hi baby" jackson coos, marks attention perking up towards him, waving a little bit. his other hand feeling the soft fabric of jacksons hoodie in between his fingertips. 

he adored everything about jackson, the way his how tousled and fell across his forehead. his saccharine black-cherry scent, and how it latched onto all his clothing. and the way jacksons strong arms felt wrapped around him, pulling him close. 

placing the hoodie down next to him, and then making grabby hands at jackson because he wanted to be held. jackson chuckles, and quickly obligates by sitting down on the edge of the bed. mark crawls into his lap, and curls up against his chest. jackson tightly hugging him, and pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. 

jackson couldn't deny the fact he missed hearing marks voice, after all it was one of the things that made him fall in love with mark. but he was understanding, and he knew that mark hadn't even fully recovered from the first attack, so now he would only be worse. and he was fine with mark not talking, if it meant it was his way of coping and getting better. but just as the thought raced across his mind, he heard marks gentle as ever voice. 

"jackie" marks voice barely anything of a whisper, but jackson continued stroking his fingertips through marks hair. "yes my love?" jackson says, other arm wrapped tightly around marks tiny frame. "i'm tired" mark whispers, snuggling further against jacksons chest. "lay down, and sleep" jackson whispers back, but he knows that's not the kind of tired mark is. 

he knows that mark has tried countless times to end his life, and that hes tired of trying. tired of waking up to the same hell everyday, and facing everything on his own. tired of getting better, just to have it all crashed down again. because no matter how hard he tried, nothing ever got better. and he was sick of people telling him things healed with time, because it was a lie. 

nothing got better with time, with time you just got use to it. you grew numb to it, and just got use to your life being the same repetitive hell. he knew mark was fearful of anything that wasn't him, and that if jackson wasn't around he wouldn't even be here. if jackson wasn't around youngjae would've never hurt mark, or maybe he would've but jackson would still blame himself.

after all how couldn't he blame himself, he was lured away from mark due to his own stupidity. he knew he shouldn't leave mark alone, and that youngjae was boarder line psychotic, but he still did it anyways. mark depended on him, and he let him down. 

he knew if he told jinyoung how he felt, then jinyoung would just tell him he could've never known. of course he could've known, youngjae was obsessed with mark and jackson was to blind to see it. if he would've opened his eyes, and protected mark like he was suppose to then it never would've happened.

jackson sighs softly, mark crawling out of his lap and laying down on the side of the bed closer to the wall. the bed wasn't very big, but mark didn't mind cuddling closer to jackson. jackson laying down next to him on his back, about to roll over before mark crawls back on top of him. resting his head against jacksons chest, and breathing shallowly. 

"get some rest, my love" jackson whispers, wrapping both arms tightly around his whole world.


	42. Chapter 42

jackson groggily opens his eyes to the sound of a soft sobbing. groaning in confusion as both his arms were still wrapped around mark, who was crying against his chest. "baby?" he whispers, still in a bit of a sleepy haze. although instantly ripped from that haze when he realized mark was crying. 

"sweetheart, hey, baby, whats wrong?" he says, leaning back a bit. mark only clutches onto his shirt, and stutters out another quiet sob. jackson already knows whats wrong, knowing the likely hood of mark having another nightmare. it broke his heart that mark had to relive both the occurrences. and shattered it even more that he couldn't do anything to help. 

jackson hugs mark tightly, arms raveled around him. using one of his hands to rub circles along marks back in a small attempt to sooth him. leaning in and placing a soft kiss to his forehead, and whispering how much he loved him. marks sobs stifled after a while, although he still clung tightly to the olders chest.

"darling, listen to me" he whispers. and mark nods slowly against his chest, warmth radiating off the older as he cuddled closer to jackson. "you are so much stronger then you know" he says, placing another kiss to the crown of marks head. "you are not a victim my love, you're a survivor" he says. "and you will get through this, i know you can" as he runs his fingertips through marks soft blond hair. 

"remember were going to fly away from here, remember?" jackson chuckles, and mark giggles softly in remembrance for their conversation. "you and i were gonna make it out of here, were gonna be happy" his fingertips playing with the ends of marks slightly curled hair. "bammie and yugyeom will meet us to, we'll all be together and happy" he states. as mark nods against his chest once more.

he can tell marks slowly falling asleep, he always did to the sound of jacksons voice. often times when he couldn't sleep, jackson would sing to him despite jackson saying he was a bad singer. or sometimes jackson would just talk, because mark found solace and jacksons voice. and it comforted him in even the smallest of ways. and even if jackson never admitted it, he adored marks voice as well. even though mark had chosen not to speak for sometime, that was fine with jackson. he missed marks voice, but marks recovery was so much more important then any of jacksons wishes. 

because in the end, all he wished for was mark to get better. his anger had always dissipated the moment he was around mark, as if marks existence was seemingly enough to change him. he hadn't talked about his mother to anyone, jinyoung had asked a few times by mark was the topic of most their conversations. when his mother died, she left a void in his heart, a gap that jackson thought could never be replaced. 

but it could, and it was. mark made him a better person, because he wanted to be the best he could be for his love. he wanted to make mark happy, and if mark was happy so was he. he knew he shouldn't depend on someone else for happiness, but truly he was in love with mark. and mark was just as much in love with him. and no matter how long it took mark to recover, jackson would always be right there by his side. because he knew his baby, was a fighter, and a survivor.


	43. Chapter 43

"mark?" jackson says groggily as he rubs his eye, light seeping through the window and illuminating marks angelic features next to him. mark sleepily opening his eyes, dark lashes fanning against his glowing porcelain skin. letting out a soft sound of sleepiness as he curled up closer to jacksons chest, warmth radiating off the older. 

"i know you're tired my love" jackson murmurs softly, rubbing marks back before sitting up. "but my baby needs to eat" he says, pulling mark up with him. "why don't we put you in my hoodie, and go wait on breakfast?" jackson hums, as mark nods a bit, eyes glazed with a sleepy look. 

mark only dressed in one of jacksons t-shirts, and a pair of black leggings. pulling jacksons larger hoodie over top his head, and taking to his feet after jackson. his light steps masked by jacksons much heavier as they made their way down the hall. yugyeom, bambam, jaebum and a newer face sat at their usual table, as jackson raises a brow.

"okay, look, hear me out.." bambam says as he deals the cards, "no were not playing lunatic pick up sticks" jaebum chuckles, as the new person laughs with them. "whos this?" jackson asks, scratching the back of his head while the other hand held onto marks tiny hand. "morning marky~" bambam chirps, jumping up from his seat.

"still don't wanna talk baby doll?" bambam coos, mark giggling softly as jackson chuckles. "he talks sometimes, just give him time" jackson says, squeezing marks hand in reassurance. "and this is our new friend! he was transferred here last night while you guys were asleep" bambam says, sitting back down in his seat and leaning in against yugyeoms shoulder.

"and you were awake last night?" jackson asks, although not surprised. "why of course! yuggie and i were organizing our sock collection~" as jackson smiles once more. "is this true yugyeom?" jackson asks, yugyeom gazing over at bambam with a grin. "well of couuurseee~" he hums, mocking his lover. bambam jokingly hitting his chest before placing a kiss to it. 

"and his name is doyoung! hes like super smart" bambam says, as bambam..well he wasn't the wisest. "hi" doyoung says in short, as mark timidly hides behind jackson. "don't worry baby he won't hurt you" jackson hums, pulling mark into his arms. "i'm jackson, and this is my adorable boyfriend mark" he says, doyoung smiling at them. 

"lets go eat" bambam says happily, yugyeom grinning as bambam was actually excited to eat. and didn't dread it anymore nor pretend to eat. "so is everyone here like dating?" doyoung asks bambam as they make their way down the hallway. "nope, not everyone!" bambam says loudly, because he was just naturally loud as yugyeom was extremely quiet. "bummie is single, you can date him if you like~" bambam teases as doyoungs face goes a shade darker then red. 

"n-no i didn't mean it like-" doyoung stammers as jaebum gazes over at them. "yeah ill think about that" jaebum mumbles, bambam proud he had the both of them blushing. as jaebum had brought his gaze down to hide the crimson that sprouted across his cheeks.


	44. Chapter 44

"all done sweetheart?" jackson hums, feeding mark one last bite of his food. mark sticking his tongue out at jackson adorably before nodding. jackson laughing a bit, gently guiding mark to his feet and to go back to their room while everyone finished eating. doyoung waiting until they had left the room to whisper to bambam.

"does he just not talk?" doyoung asks, bambam gazing over at him after 'noming' his food. "hmm.. jackie said he was doing a bit better but he hasn't talked for a few weeks" bambam answers. as doyoung only gazes at him in confusion. "has he always not talked?" he asks, bambam sighing softly.

"don't let jackson hear you saying it but uhh.." bambam stammers a bit. "hes kinda been here a while, he was gang raped in the past and then jackson came along and he started doing alot better" bambam says at first. confusing doyoung all the more as to why he doesn't talk anymore. "but there was this guy who loved mark and was jealous and kinda nuts.. he caught mark in the bathroom and you know..forced him" bambam sighs. yugyeom leaning in against his shoulder.

"he didn't talk for a while, jacksons the only person he'll let touch him usually" bambam says. "but hes apparently talked to jackson a few times and is slowly recovering again" he smiles. "hes probably the strongest out of all of us" he chuckles softly. "and jackson?" doyoung asks, thinking his story was just as complex. 

"oh i dont really know honestly" bambam hums, "never really asked, his mom died and he ended up here is all we know" he says, petting yugyeoms hair. "and you two are together i assume?" doyoung chuckles as he gazes at the two. "more then together" yugyeom mumbles quietly, as bambam cackles. "he proposed to be with a ring pop, but we're getting a real ring once we get out!" bambam exclaims happily.

"cute" doyoung smiles, catching a glimpse of jackson and mark still stood in the hallway. mark against the wall while jackson whispered to him and kissed his forehead. marks arms raveling around jackson and clutching onto him tightly. jackson swaying them side to side as he held mark, and visibly continued to whisper and press kisses to the crown of his head.

doyoung had always thought love was like the movies. the sappy romance ones, where they would kiss and fall in love. take long walks on the beach, and tell each other how much they loved each other. but maybe, love wasn't just telling someone you loved them. doyoung sat in place, in a place that was thought to be where you go when you've become cloaked in sorrow, and have no hope. but maybe he was wrong. 

because when he saw the way bambam looked at yugyeom, and the way they spoke to each other. the way mark held jackson, and the way jackson whispered against his skin. maybe that alone was love, being with someone when they were at the lowest point of their life. building them back, and watching the way their withered to watch them blossom once more.

beauty wasn't the way features sat across someones face. or how their voice flowed from their lips, or how clear their skin was. it was the way someone looked at someone else, how they were their entire world and so much more. how two people had found love, in a place that was destined for sorrow. gazing over at jaebum, and then back at mark and jackson. wishing someone would look at him; just that way.


	45. Chapter 45

jackson rolled over with a groan as he gazed out the window. night had still enveloped the sky outside, as a few stars shined through the sky. mark was still sleeping peacefully next to him, making sleepy sounds as he curled closer to jacksons arm that was tightly in his hold. his blonde hair was messily fallen across his face, dark lashes peaking through the bleached strands. fanning against his skin as he slept. 

a smile curling jacksons lips as he stared at the sleeping younger. he was so beautiful, yet somewhere so unaware of it. jackson adored him, every fraction of a second he got to spend with him. although, adoration wasn't exactly what he was feeling as he desperately had to pee. thanking god jinyoung trusted them enough to let them out of their rooms at night, slowly slipping out of bed. quietly tip-toeing out the room because he didn't want to wake his sleeping beauty. as mark had enough trouble going to sleep as is, usually jackson would sing to him, or talk to him until he fell asleep. 

but thankfully he had went to bed tonight with a bit of ease, as jackson breaths a sigh of relief when hes out the room. wanting to run to the bathroom but not wanting to wake anyone in the process. hearing yugyeom and bambam awake, likely talking about socks as yugyeom laughed. yugyeom didn't talk much around anyone else but bambam. but with bambam he talked so much, and honestly never shut up.

jackson smiled because he was happy that they were happy. making his way down the hallway until he was at the bathroom. "god i need to pee" he mumbles to himself as he opens up the door, that wasn't locked. swinging it open as the light was already on, and doyoung was sat on the sink. with his clothes tossed aside on the floor next to them, and jaebum was stood in between his legs. his clothes, sadly for jackson discarded on the floor next to doyoungs. 

doyoung letting out a moan as jaebum thrusted up into him, both his arms wrapped around jaebums neck. leaning in and moaning against the skin of his neck. jaebum letting out groans as jackson stares blankly at the pair with his mouth agape. that was until jackson cleared his throat, and doyoung noticed him first. quickly slapping jaebums shoulder to earn his attention. staring back at jackson as jaebum jerked his head back. 

"yeah uh..i'll hold it" jackson says as he nods, quickly slamming the door back shut. shuddering when he heard the moans and groans resume. leaning back against the door, and making a cross with his fingertips before looking up. "jesus god" he mumbles, quickly making his way to the main room where their was another bathroom. as he heard another loud moan resonate the surrounding silence as jackson only shakes his head.


	46. Chapter 46

"daddy" mark says sleepily as jackson reenters the room. rubbing his eye as he sat up from the bed, hair falling across his face. dressed in only one of jacksons larger t-shirts, that pooled against his now barely bruised thighs. the white duvets pulled over him just a bit.

"i woke up and you weren't there" mark whispers, sounding a bit unsure of himself. "i'm right here kitten" jackson says softly as he makes his way back over towards the bed. jackson pulling the blankets from the other bed and putting it on theirs as it was a bit cold. "come here my love" jackson coos, crawling back into bed with mark. sitting up because he knew mark liked to lay against his chest, and hear the beating of his heart.

"daddy" mark whispers once more, as jackson cards his fingertips through marks hair. "yes kitten?" he whispers back, mark nuzzling further against his chest. "talk to me" mark says, voice wavering from how tired he was. jackson happily complies, knowing it helped mark not have nightmares when he talked him to sleep. 

"well maybe we should talk about how cute my little kitten is?" jackson says, stroking marks hair. mark letting out a faint giggle against jacksons chest, his arm loosely hung around jacksons waist. "y-you're not gonna leave again right?" mark whispers, and jackson only coos at how adorable mark is. "no kitten, i won't leave again" he says back, continuing to play with marks hair. 

"get some rest baby" jackson coos, "i'll be right here when you wake up". knowing mark was boarder line falling asleep. although continuing to talk because he knew it soothed mark. "and then when my little kitten wakes up we can play cards, and you can go look and bammie and yugyeoms sock collection" he hums. "then when we get out of here, daddy will buy you all the socks with cute animals on it that you like". 

"then we'll have an apartment with bammie and yugyeom, and you'll have so much fun" jackson whispers. knowing he could afford much more then an apartment, but mark still didn't know about the money he had. not that it mattered, unlike anyone else in his life mark loved jackson for who he was, and not for the wealth he had.

jackson didn't know much about marks past, only that what had happened to him was because of his ex-boyfriend. who had frequently beat him, so marks expectations for men sadly weren't that high. as he was use to them not respecting his choices, belittling him and undermining him. while jackson only ever put him up, and told him how much he loved him and how beautiful he was. always taking care of him, and making sure he was comfortable at all times.

although before jackson could pull himself out of his haze of thoughts, mark had already fallen asleep. and jackson didn't mind sleeping in the sitting up position. mark usually fell asleep like this, so jackson was quite use to it. and after all anything that made mark happy, he would do. "goodnight, kitten".


	47. Chapter 47

mark gently shook jackson until he woke up, looking up at him with glossy eyes. "daddy, wake up" mark says softly, as jackson slowly opens his eyes. yawning a bit, as the light from the window shined directly in his eyes. "goodmorning kitten" jackson says, leaning down and kissing marks forehead.

"up, up, up!" mark cheers, climbing out the bed and pulling jackson up with him. "alright i'm up, i'm up" jackson chuckles. mark quickly pulling on a pair of his leggings. while jackson changed into a pair of joggers and a black t-shirt tucked beneath them. mark happily grabbing onto his arm and holding it onto it while jackson led him from the room with a yawn. 

making their way to yugyeom and bambam who were showing off their mixed matched socks. although smiling when they spotted the pair. "goodmorning!" bambam chirps, jackson wondering if the two ever actually slept because they were up late and up early morning. "morning" jackson says as he scratches the back of his head, making eye contact with jaebum and doyoung who were seated across the table from each other.

"why're you staring at each other like that?" bambam asks, gazing back at them. "just uh..nothing" jackson mumbles, sitting down on the couch as mark crawled into his lap. "was someone up last night? yuggie said he heard things from the bathroom but wouldn't get up to check" bambam hums, placing cards on the table. "thank god he didn't" jackson mumbles, gazing over at jaebum. although bambam only continues being confused. 

bambam looking at doyoung and jaebum who were staring at each other, then back at jackson. "holy shit you two-!" bambam says, before yugyeom quickly covers his mouth. although of course, their worst fear happens. "what?" mark whispers, voice soft and gentle. as jacksons eyes widen, staring back at them. doyoung already having caught onto the fact mark was quite innocent, and jackson wanted to keep him that way.

"well uh kitten remember when bammie use to fall in the bathroom alot?" jackson says on the spot. mark nodding slowly, "cause' hes clumsy" mark says back. "mhm well it turns out doyoung is just as clumsy!" jackson exclaims, as yugyeom out right laughs at it. "doyoung fell to?" mark asks, tilting his head to the side adorably. bangs falling across his face as he did so. 

"yes kitten, doyoung fell to" jackson sighs, "ohh~" mark says, still oblivious as to what was going on. "why don't you and i go get ready to eat?" jackson says, mark nodding and taking to his feet. jackson cutting all of them a death glare as he wrapped an arm around marks shoulder and guided him from the room. 

"so uh..falling?" doyoung mumbles to jaebum, but bambam chooses to reply instead. "well i use to get dick in the bathroom to" bambam shrugs. "still do sometimes, aint that right babe?" he adds, high-fiving yugyeom. "and you two didn't lock the door because?" yugyeom asks, cutting his attention over to jaebum. "we uhhh.. forgot" jaebum says, scratching the back of his head.


	48. Chapter 48

jackson yawned as they woke up more usual then earlier. mark had therapy with jinyoung in the morning, and jinyoung wanted to try speaking to mark alone for once. jackson rolling around in the sheets until he grew bore of laying alone. missing the feeling of mark curled next to him beneath the duvets, as they were rarely apart. 

pulling himself up and out of bed. scratching the back of his head and tucking his white t-shirt beneath the black sweat pants he wore. making his way down the hallway where the rest of the group was sitting, bambam pulling at yugyeoms cheeks while giggling. noticing jackson when he pulled up a chair and yawned. 

"wheres mark?" bambam asks curiously, as it was rare to see them separated. "therapy, jinyoung thought he was ready for a session alone" jackson murmurs. "hows he doing?" bambam says, continuing to play with yugyeoms hand. 

"pretty good, was happy when he woke me up the other day. practically drug me out of bed" jackson chuckles. "but he does have his bad days" he adds. "does it uh.." doyoung says, earning jacksons attention as he looks up at the other. "does it ever get hard or tiring to you know, love someone with so many problems?" doyoung asks. a part of him expecting jackson to get offended, but he only chuckled and shook his head.

"hes more then his scars" jackson whispers, "i would've probably killed myself if i didn't meet him, hes my everything" smiling a bit as he thought about mark. "its kinda funny you know" jackson murmurs. "he always tells me when we get out of here, what he'll buy me for christmas or my birthday" he says. "and its not that hes ruining the surprise, its just that he doesn't know that the days i spend with him, are the best gift i'll ever have" he whispers.

just as they hear jinyoungs office door opened and closed. jackson gazing back to see mark timidly standing there. about to walk down the hallway back to their bedroom until jackson whispered a quick 'watch this'. "kitten~" jackson shouts as mark turns around to see him, wear jacksons hoodie and a pair of leggings. his face practically lighting up the moment he saw jackson.

running over to jackson and pouncing into his lap. jackson planting a kiss on his cheek and wrapping both arms around him. "how was it darling?" but mark only shakes his head against jacksons chest. "had enough talking for today?" jackson hums, mark nodding a bit. "thats fine kitten" he whispers, placing another kiss to the crown of his head.

"markie~" bambam says, earning the youngest attention. "me and yuggie picked something out for you!" he exclaims happily. mark adorably tilting his head to the side, as bambam proudly places a pair of socks on the table. that were blue and had pink and green fish across them. "they're for you!" bambam says, sliding them over to mark. mark giggles and takes them to hand, hugging them tightly. gazing up at jackson and signing thank you. 

"he said thank you" jackson hums, running his hand through marks hair. doyoung gazing at the at the pair. caught on the thought of how mark would be the best gift jackson ever got.


	49. Chapter 49

"mark still asleep?" yugyeom asked as he peered around the bedroom door. jackson was sat at the end of the bed, reading a book whilst mark was cuddled up with a pillow. "can we talk?" yugyeom whispers, jackson nodding as he closes his book and places it at the end of the bed. making his way quietly from the room into the hallway. yugyeom never talked much, but non-the-less he and jackson were still close. 

yugyeom leans back against the wall, smiling as he watched mark sleep. jackson stood infront of him, hands tucked into the pockets of the black sweat pants he wore. "bammie and i are getting out" yugyeom chuckles, as he gazes into the main room. bambam was sat at the table, although this time on the couch set next to doyoung. chattering as he usually did, while jaebum was at the other side of the table. 

"yeah i know" jackson smiles, "i set everything up for us, you guys can move into the apartment" jackson hums. "i'll let mark know, and he'll look forward to getting to live with you guys" he says. "hopefully you two get out soon" yugyeom murmurs, as he brings his attention over to bambam. he had a grin across his lips, and was talking about something random because he could talk for hours about anything, and yugyeom loved that. doyoungs hands folded in his lap, gazing over at bambam as he spoke.

"whats he in for anyways?" jackson asks, folding one arm over the other. yugyeom pondering on the thought, "i over heard jinyoung talking about him being a diagnosed psychopath or something.." yugyeom whispers. jackson narrowing his eyes, staring at doyoung for a moment before realizing something was in his hands. mumbling a string of curses beneath his breath and darting away from yugyeom. his quick shuffling heard by doyoung who widens his eyes at him. 

quickly taking the sharped piece of wood he had in his hands, and slamming it into bambams stomach. jackson stopping in his tracks, as yugyeom brings his gaze over just enough to see what happened. his mouth going agape as he ran over towards them, not making it fast enough before doyoung took the wood out and repeatedly stabbed bambam in the chest. 

the nurses quickly rushing over towards him, as doyoung takes the wood and slits his own throat. bambam shakily taking to his feet and holding onto his stomach as he gurgled out blood. crimson pouring from his lips, his weight giving out, and collapsing. but yugyeom caught him, hands trembling as he held bambam. coughing up blood, and yugyeom didn't hear any of what was going on around him.

he didn't hear the screaming, he didn't hear doyoungs struggled breaths before he died. he didn't hear mark wake up to the screaming, and watch one of his best friends being murdered. he didn't hear jinyoung shouting for someone to get a doctor although they wouldn't make it in time. "you can't die, you can't die" yugyeom whispers to bambam, rocking him back and forth. bambam coughing up more blood onto his chest, and smiling up at yugyeom. because yugyeoms face, was the last thing he wanted to see. 

"death won't take you away from me, i won't let it" yugyeoms voice wavering. the world decaying around him, as tears ran unwillingly down his cheeks. "you're right" bambam whispers back, his eyes fluttering shut although forcing them open once more. "death won't take you away from me" bambam says softly, "i will love you in this life, and i will love you into the next" coughing in between his words. as yugyeom stutters out another sob.

"and i will love you" bambam says, using his remaining strength to bring his hand to yugyeoms cheek. "until death simply gives up on us" he whispers, as his bloody thumb runs across yugyeoms skin, leaving scarlet in its wake. one of yugyeoms hands attempting to hold bambams multiple stab wounds together, while the other rocked him back and forth. 

"i'll find you" bambam whispers, "in this life and to the next" although his words grew softer as he spoke. and his hand fell from yugyeoms cheek, and to the floor.


	50. Chapter 50

jinyoung had confined everyone to their rooms, with nurses guarding the halls. a desolate look sat across his expression, other therapists of the ward insisting yugyeom be put under suicide watch. jinyoung sighing as he rounded the corner to yugyeoms room, knowing he couldn't do that to yugyeom. brought with the side of yugyeom curled in bambams bed, as that was the one they always slept in. 

curled into a ball on top of the blankets, his sobs muffled by bambams sweater in his arms. cuddled and raveled tightly within it, with his knees brought to his chest. "yugyeom-" jinyoung says, "get out" yugyeom murmurs softly in between his sobs. jinyoung remains in the doorway, nodding as he had expected that reaction. he didn't have to tell yugyeom bambam didn't make it, because yugyeom knew despite his fighting back of the truth. seeing yugyeoms current state, jinyoung couldn't bring himself to throw yugyeom under suicide watch. knowing not being able to be around bambams belongings would only make him feel worse. 

not speaking as his footsteps left the doorway, and yugyeom finally lets out the cry he had been holding in. his hands tightening around bambams sweater, the one he always wore to bed. it was to big for him, but he always tucked it beneath a pair of yugyeoms pajama pants. that were also to big for him, but he always tied the laces into a pretty bow. insisting he had to look his best for yugyeom.

yugyeom finally bringing his head up from the sweater, and looking down. catching a glimpse of his feet, two mix-matched socks placed upon them. because bambam had always worn one of the pair, while yugyeom wore the other. they were like two pieces of a puzzle that completed each other. 

yugyeoms heavy footsteps sitting up from the bed. all those happy moments piercing into him, wondering if there were pieces of bambam, in the pieces of him. bringing a hand shakily to his cheek, where bambams thumb had stroked it and left a trace of scarlet behind before he died. stuttering out another sob, and running his palm across his cheek. cradling it as if it was bambams own hand.

all of bambams words bashing into him, how bambam had taught him to be patient. to be kind. to keep his needs and wants balanced. how it was okay to cry, and to not be fine. bambam had always told him it was okay not to simply swallow pain, that it was okay to weep and wallow. because there had been many nights where yugyeom would find himself sobbing for no reason, and bambam was always there to hold him. 

but tonight he wasn't, as yugyeom let out another sob. ignoring the tears running down his crimson stained, irritated cheeks. and running his fingertips across all of bambams clothes, as he had always kept their room nice and tidy. although his fingertips stopping at the sleeves of one of the shirts, as his sobs stifled. and he slowly picked up the two long sleeved shirts, and tied the sleeves together.

"and in the morning i'll be with you" he whispers.


	51. Chapter 51

mark woke up before jackson, which wasn't unusual. usually he would just stay coddled at jacksons side until the older woke up. although he had heard yugyeom sob half the night until he had fallen asleep, so he unraveled himself from jackson. half-waking up jackson in the process, as mark crawled out the bed. only dressed in one of jacksons t-shirts, although it was more like a dress on him almost down to his knees. rubbing his eye and making his way from the room. 

he knew he wasn't suppose to leave their room yet, although guilt consumed him as he wanted to check on yugyeom. slowly tip-toeing out of the room, as yugyeoms room was only next to his. "gyeomie" he whispers, although yugyeom doesn't respond. mark scrunching his nose, the nurse on watch having their back turned speaking to jinyoung. mark quickly darting out of their room and into the doorway of yugyeoms.

although the moment he does his eyes widen a bit. three of bambams sweaters tied together with the long sleeves. one of the ends wrapped around the bars that sat in the window, while more were tied together. and the other was a circular formation around yugyeoms neck. his lashes fluttered shut, and a saddened smile sat across his lips. 

"mark?" jinyoung calls from across the hall, catching a glimpse of mark stood in the doorway. "mark you're not suppose to be-" jinyoung says as he makes his way over. his words coming to a halt the moment he caught sight of it. yelling for one of the nurses, although mark only ignores his yelling and slowly walks over to yugyeom. his tiny hands curling around the sweater of bambams yugyeom had left on the bed, and taking it to hand. jinyoungs yelling earning the attention of everyone awake, and waking jackson fully in the process. jackson jolting out of bed once he noticed mark was missing, and rounding the corner out of their room.

mark stares at yugyeom for a moment, jinyoung remaining still as the nurses stood behind him. waiting for mark to leave the room, although mark leans down to his knees in front of yugyeom. keeping the sweater over his arm as he slowly untied the rest from yugyeoms neck. "mark.." jinyoung says as mark unties the portion. "we'll finish the rest" jinyoung says as he makes his way towards mark. 

"can i have them?" mark whispers to jinyoung, running his hand across yugyeoms cool skin. "of course" jinyoung says, nodding behind for the nurses to come forward. mark leaning in and pressing a kiss to yugyeoms cheek before taking to his feet. keeping bambams sweater in his hands as jackson was waiting for him in the doorway. mark just walks past jackson, and jackson understandably allows him to enter their room first.

mark doesn't lay down on the bed, instead he sits down. his back against the wall as he shakily exhales. bambams sweater in his lap while his fingertips lace their way through the fabric. jackson leaning against the doorway while mark sits in his place. until mark lets out a deep breath, and a tear running down his cheek. "i would've stayed with you all night" mark whispers, praying to god yugyeom could hear him.


	52. Chapter 52

"darling" jackson whispers as he leans around the doorway. mark doesn't respond, his gaze locked forward towards the wall. mark heard all the words he said, although didn't move. mark having tried not to think at all, but the room had never felt so small. "you couldn't of known" jackson murmurs, taking seat on the bed next to mark. who had his knees brought to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs and head rested on his knees.

"sweetheart" jackson wrapping one arm around marks shoulder. mark doesn't move, usually he would relax into jacksons embrace but he remained still. sniffling a bit as jackson sighed softly, "come here" jackson whispers, growing teary eyed. gently pulling mark into his lap, who complies and rests against his chest before sniffling a bit. 

mark shakily exhales before stuttering out a quiet sob, still gazing towards the wall. jackson keeps his arms wrapped around his lover, swaying him side to side. running one hand through his hair, while mark quietly cried in his arms. "e-everything i love" mark stutters softly, "just turns to stone" he murmurs. jackson nods against marks hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head before whispering back.

"i haven't" jackson whispers against marks bleach blond locks. marks breath hitches for a moment, before slowing turning to face jackson in his lap. eyes layered with a glossy coat, while tears ran down his cheeks. jackson allowing a tear to stream his cheek before bringing a tentative hand to marks cheek, stroking his thumb across marks soft skin. who relaxes into his palm and sniffles once more.

"but will you?" mark asks, sorrow tilting his tone as he spoke. jackson only smiles a bit, leaning in and kissing marks forehead. "sometimes i use to think the world was just a troublesome place" jackson whispers. "and that maybe that i should just end the pain" continuing to stroke marks cheek. "and then" he says, "and then i met you".

"after my mom died maybe i needed a sign" he says, "a reason not to die and a reason to prove my worth". and mark can only stutter out another sob, "you are that reason, and so much more" jackson murmurs. "it was like walking was a chore" jackson chuckles, "and sometimes i thought i just couldn't take it anymore". slowly brushing marks messily placed bangs from his face. 

"you came to me at a very dark part of my life" he whispers as his fingertips trace marks skin. "where i thought i would find nothing but sorrow and misery i found you" he says. "and maybe things won't always happen how we want, and maybe were plagued with unfortunate events but i can bear it all as long as i have you" leaning in and resting his forehead gently against marks. "so i promise you my love" his words against marks warm skin, "i will never turn to stone".


	53. Chapter 53

mark hadn't been able to sleep, staring up at the ceiling as he listened to jacksons steady breathing. the older had fallen asleep hours ago, mark laying against his chest with one of jacksons arms wrapped around him. he could hear the rhythmic breathing of jacksons heart, soothing him a bit although not enough to drift him to sleep. 

mark sighs softly, gazing up at his sleeping lover and finding a bit of comfort. although still plagued with the thought of yugyeom and bambam, and curling back against jacksons chest. attempting to hold back his tears but proving unable. slowly curling away from jackson so he doesn't wake his lover, and quietly stepping out the room while stuttering out a soft sob.

stepping into yugyeom and bambams room, everything still left in its place. the clothes yugyeom had tied laying on the bed, marks eyes meeting them as he rounded the corner. taking a shaky breath as he gravitated closer towards them. mark feeling the pain heavy in his bones, coursing through his veins as he picked up one of the shirts.

pressing it to his lips, and inhaling deeply as he feels his legs give out beneath him and collapse beneath his light weight. falling onto yugyeoms bed, and curling into a ball a top the clothing. stuttering out a quiet sob, that covers up the heavy footsteps that enter the room. not taking notice of jacksons presence until the older made his way over to the bed and kneels down next to it. gently wrapping one arm around mark and hugging him tightly.

mark flinches at first until he realizes its jackson, relaxing back into his lover. and continuing to let out soft sobs into the fabric of yugyeoms shirt. "lets go back to bed, my dearest" jackson whispers, mark shaking as he attempted to uncurl from the sheets with the help of jackson. "i-i know ill be fine" mark says softly, as jackson picks him up. "but everytime, everytime i think im better i-it...it just comes back" he murmurs against jacksons chest.

"i know sweetheart" jackson says back, running one hand through marks hair. the youngers tiny legs wrapping around jacksons firm waist. continuing to card one hand through marks hair and picking up one of yugyeoms shirts to give to mark before carrying him out the room. carrying him back to their room, and laying him down gently on the bed.

jackson crawling to the side of the bed next to the wall, and taking mark into his arms. who curls up against his chest once more, "do you believe in god?" he says softly. "i believe in a higher power, someone who made us" jackson whispers back, playing with marks hair. mark sighing softly as he rolls onto his chest and gazes up at jackson. 

"i wish i could tell our maker, up above" he begins, "that i've just had enough". and jackson nods as he brings one hand to marks cheek. "i don't want to be sad anymore" mark says, teary eyed and nuzzling against jacksons hand. "i know, sweetheart" he murmurs once more, stroking his thumb against marks cheek.

"do you know what i wish i could tell our maker?" jackson says. causing mark to cock his head to the side a bit. "i would thank him, for bringing me to you" and mark smiles a bit through his tears with a soft giggle. "everything about me" mark whispers, averting his gaze from jackson. "everything about me is just a fucking hurricane" he says, laughing through the sob he stuttered out.

jackson not wasting any time in grabbing both of marks cheek and pulling him into a kiss. shocking mark at first, but not pulling away and kissing jackson back. after jackson breaks away, staring at his lover with widened, confused eyes. "you are a hurricane" jackson says, resting his forehead against marks. "but maybe i love your hurricane, maybe i love the sound of your rain" he says, mark fluttering his dark lashes shut. "i love you, my hurricane" jackson hums.


	54. Chapter 54

"mark?" jinyoung said as he stepped around the corner of mark and jacksons room. mark, still half asleep peaks up at jinyoung, blinking his eyes a few times. "its time for your therapy appointment" jinyoung says softly, waking jackson in the process. "jackson can come if you like" jinyoung says, as mark almost always had jackson come with him.

"i-its okay" mark stutters, jackson raising a brow in surprise. "i can go alone" mark murmurs softly, jinyoung nodding despite his confusion. "ill be in my office waiting for you" jinyoung says with a smile, mark nods and turns back around to press a kiss to jacksons cheek. "you sure you'll be okay?" jackson says, worry pervading his raspy morning tone.

"mhm" mark says with a smile, stepping off the bed to get dressed. quickly putting on one of jacksons black hoodies and a pair of leggings. "i love you" mark whispers to a half-awake jackson. "i love you too" jackson hums, curling back into the blankets of their shared bed. mark slips on his shoes, as his quiet footsteps trail out of the room. 

brushing his blond bangs from his face, as he walked through the main room. earning a few looks from the rest of the patients spread among the room. but paying them no attention and making his way to jinyoungs office. knocking on the door before entering, to which jinyoung was sat at his desk reviewing paperwork.

"how are you feeling?" jinyoung says, taking his reading glasses off and placing them on the desk. "okay" mark murmurs softly, light steps making their way over to one of the couches. "what else do you feel?" jinyoung asks, taking out a piece of paper to write on. "w-well honestly" mark stammers a bit, causing jinyoung a bit of worry. 

"i-i wanna get better" mark whispers, as he takes seat on one of the couches. "i thought you always wanted to get better?" jinyoung says as he relaxes back into his seat. "i thought i did to" mark says beneath his breath. "b-but i wasn't trying then, not as hard as i could try" he adds. "and, and i thought i would just get better naturally and stayed miserable because i wasn't trying" he says softly. 

"i always thought everything about my life was upside down, and that it would get better if it wasn't" he says. keeping his hands situated and folded in his lap. "but i dont wanna be the right side round anymore" whispering the words against his breathed pause.

"self acceptance is important" jinyoung says, jotting the words down on his notes. "what made you feel this way?" he asks. "jackie" mark says with a bit of a smile, the thought of jackson alone enough to make his lips curl out of happiness. "if he can love me the way i am" mark says, "then maybe i should love me too".


	55. Chapter 55

mark picked up the clothing from the shelf, taking one of bambams shirts into hand. fingertips curled tightly into the fabric, bringing it to his lips and pressing it against his skin. jackson sits on the bed, gazing at his lover with a sorrowful expression sat across his features. "i miss them" mark whispers against the fabric.

"i know, my love" jackson says back, slipping his shoes on and taking to his feet. mark gazes at him for a moment, and brings his attention down to jacksons shoes. "take those off" mark says, causing jackson to raise a brow in confusion. "your socks" mark giggles softly, picking up two pairs of socks bambam and yugyeom use to wear.

jackson complies with marks request, slipping his shoes off first and then taking off the white socks he wore. mark makes his way over towards jackson, slipping onto his knees ahead of jackson and taking the socks to hand. he unbundles the socks, and takes one of each of the pair and puts them down in front of his lover. 

"they always use to mix them" mark murmurs beneath his breath, as he pulls one of the socks onto jacksons feet. then taking a sock from the other pair, and placing it on the other foot. jackson smiles a bit, as mark slips jacksons shoes back onto his feet with a huff. changing his sitting position so he could roll the socks onto his own feet.

mark slips off the shirt he wore to bed, jackson catching a glimpse of the scars that lathered his tiny frame. although jackson couldn't help but continue smiling. because it wasn't the fact that marks body had been cut, it was the fact that those cuts had healed. they were a portion of the past, and they no longer devolved marks future.

mark pulls one of bambams longer t-shirts over his head. despite bambam having been gone for days, he could still smell the scent of his friend that lingered across the fabric. the shirt was bigger on him, taking to his feet and making his way back over to the shelf. jackson takes to his feet and cracks his neck while mark pulls on a new pair of leggings. 

"you don't want to lay down for a bit, sweetheart?" jacksons raspy morning voice asks. mark only shakes his head as he finishes getting dress. "i don't want to lay down and be sad" mark begins, "i want to be better" he adds. making his way over to jackson and taking jacksons hands into his own. "for them, for us" he murmurs, holding onto jacksons hands tightly. jackson nods at mark, raveling their fingertips together. about to speak before jinyoung makes his way around the corner.

"you're awake" jinyoung says, holding a few pieces of paper in hand as he gazed at the two. "yeah" jackson chuckles, releasing one of marks hand while he held the other. "i actually wanted to talk to you two" jinyoung says, clearing his throat. "oh?" jackson gazing at jinyoung in confusion before the words left the others lips. "its about you and marks discharge".


	56. Chapter 56

jackson had a car waiting for the two outside the building. an old friend of his mothers, taeil was driving the vehicle. jackson barely knew the man, only that he was remorseful as well after the death of his mother and wanted to help jackson in any way he could. the drive to their new apartment was mostly conversed in the chatter between jackson and taeil about the recent events in their life. all of which jackson bragged about his love for mark.

once parked in front of their apartment, jackson says his goodbyes and steps out the car. making sure to open the door for mark before grabbing the box of their belongings. jackson still managing to open the apartment building door for mark despite the box.

it was late night before the two had gotten to the apartment. night had well enveloped the sky above, as strings of stars rippled through the darkness. although jackson couldn't help but notice, mark was the prettiest constellation of them all. the older already had a job set up, following in the foot-steps of his mothers business. he knew he could take care of mark, but he still didnt mind if mark wanted to take classes, or work. or just stay at home and relax.

the apartment had white walls, with beige curtains cloaking the large set windows. the linens that covered the pillows upon the white sofa were a matching beige to pair the curtains. a coffee table set in front of the couch, with a tv in the center of the room. and then a hallway that led to a bathroom and then the two bedrooms. one of which jackson had set up as a studio for his work.

the two make their way instantly to the bedroom. jackson kicking the door open with his foot to expose the king sized bed that was sat next to a window. placing the box on one of the tables and then watching as mark followed behind him. the younger collapses onto the bed and curls within the soft white linens. "are you tired, dearest?" jackson hums with a smile. mark nods sleepily into the fabric of the silken sheets, fluttering his dark lashes shut. jackson takes seat on the edge of the bed next to him, and brushes the blonds messy bangs from his face.

"get some rest, my love" jackson says, "ill get to unpacking everything" he adds. about to take to his feet before marks hand wraps around his wrist and pulls him back into bed. "still strong, i see" jackson chuckles. "because you keep leaving me all alone and cold" mark murmurs softly against the sheets. jackson sighs jokingly before crawling over mark and to the other side of the bed.

"alright my love" he says as mark turns to face him. curling up against jackson's chest , while the older pulls the heavy duvets over top of them. he ravels one arm around marks waist and pulls him closer. holding his whole world, his hurricane in his arms.


	57. Chapter 57

mark let out a soft exhale as he woke up, sunlight seeping through the curtains and reflecting off his porcelain skin. jacksons presance was devoid next to him, only greeted by the cool silken sheets when he rolled over. he lets out another sigh before pulling himself up and out of bed, gazing around the room. the clock next to their bedside table reading that it was just a few minutes past eight am.

although the moment he swung his legs off the bed, he couldn't help but feel a heaviness within them. shakily exhaling, as he tried to shake off the feeling of sadness. after all he shouldn't be sad, right? he was finally free, and where he always wanted to be. deciding to distract himself from the ominous feeling that lurked over him. trailing out the room and into the living room, where jackson was sat on the couch, eyes narrowed as he worked on paperwork. 

"morning, beautiful" jackson hums, filling out another line on the paper with his pen. "i picked up the new medication jinyoung prescribed to you" jackson says. "it says to take it with food, so i made you something to eat" he adds. mark smiles and nods, jinyoung had insisted that mark try a new medication for his depression, as well as a mood stabilizer.

jackson takes to his feet, placing his paperwork on the coffee table and making his way to the kitchen. bringing back a plate of food for mark, who timidly sat down on the couch next to his lover. placing it in marks lap, as mark scrunched his nose a bit and began to eat it despite not being hungry. he watches as jackson fills out his paper work, the older writing neatly across the forms he had to fill out. finally finishing his food, and about to stand up before jackson spoke. "your medication is on the counter, my love" he says. 

"i'll go to the bathroom and take it" mark says softly, picking up his plate to bring it back to the kitchen. he gazes back at jackson, to make sure his focus is on his paperwork. rinsing off his plate once he made his way to the sink. gazing over at the counter top, with two bottles of pills sat a top it. he gazes over his shoulder once more, back at jackson who was still sat on the couch.

mark quickly walks over to the bottles, and shakes one out of each into his palm. curling his palm into a fist and walking back towards the living room. "did you take them, dearest?" jackson asks as mark walks past, mark nods at him and smiles once more before continuing to walk. making his way down the hallway, and into the bathroom while quietly closing the door behind him. letting out a deep exhale, and uncurling his fist. gazing at the pills before looking over towards the toilet. "i can't go back" he whispers to himself, as he takes quick steps over to the toilet and tosses the pills in before flushing it.


	58. Chapter 58

mark made his way out the bathroom, as he rounded the corner he saw jackson on the phone. he saw the smile that curled jacksons lips, and how he laughed happily. and despite the sorrow weighting down on him, he didn't want to take jacksons happiness away. so he took a shaky exhale, and forced a smile upon him as he made his way back into the living room where jackson was sat.

he sits down on the couch next to jackson, hugging the olders arm and leaning against him. jackson lays his head against marks after pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. he continues speaking on the phone, mark presumes him to be talking to someone about his mothers business. because it sounds all to fancy for mark to understand, so he continues holding onto jacksons arm and snuggling close to him. jackson finally gets off the phone, with a sigh before pressing another kiss to mark.

"go take a shower, my dearest" he says, "i need to shave soon, and don't want to take to long" he laughs. mark nods and uncurls himself from jackson, before hugging him tightly. "i'll only be a few minutes" marks voice barely that of a soft whisper speaks. his voice had always been timid, so jackson doesn't take much notice of it. 

mark makes his way back into the bedroom, and over towards their shared dresser. pulling out one of jacksons pajama pants that were far to big for him, and then a t-shirt. taking them to hand and crossing the hallway towards the bathroom. about to turn on the shower before a thought crosses his mind. remembering the words of jackson shaving, placing the clothes down and opening the medication cabinet. he traces through it, before finding the pack of shaving razors and pulling them out. 

carefully opening the box, so jackson wouldn't know he had been into them. and pulling one out of the paper, staring at it for a moment before he deeply inhales. he quickly closes the box, and makes it as if he had never touched it and places it back where he found it. the sharp razor blade still within his palm, that he steps back over to the shower and exhales.

he slips off his shirt, and then ravels the razor blade tightly within the shirt. placing it on the counter top, folded neatly and unable to see the blade hidden within it. he can hear jacksons footsteps down the hallway, as he turns on the shower and feels the warmth of the water. feeling his hand tremble a bit, as jackson knocks on the door. "yes?" he says, and jackson speaks back. "just let me know when your done, my love" jackson says, as mark stares back at the shirt with the blade concealed within it, and then back at jackson. "i will" mark whispers back.


	59. Chapter 59

mark stepped out the shower, ruffling his hair with the soft towel. he scrunches his nose a bit, lost in his thoughts before his gaze met the shirt on the counter top. he stares at it for a moment, water trickling down his ankles whilst he walked over to the counter. his eyes narrow at the fabric, before chewing onto his lower lip and shaking his head. whispering a soft 'no' to himself.

picking up the shirt, and the rest of his clothes after he got dressed. and making his way from the bathroom, "i'm done~" he calls to jackson. who was still sat in the living room filling out paper work, smiling at mark the moment he saw him. "i have to go look at the building, do you want to come with me?" he asks, and mark only timidly shakes his head.

"i don't feel like going out" he giggles softly. walking back into their shared bedroom and placing the dirty fabrics upon the dresser. whilst tossing the towel into the hamper, and stretching his arms out a bit. he hears jackson much heavier footsteps making their way down the hallway. at first having been faint, then finding their way to the room mark was stood in. 

jackson ravels his arms around mark from behind, and holds onto him tightly. "are you sure you dont want to come?" he asks, and mark laughs a bit. "its to cold" mark whines, leaning back into jackson and giggling. "fine, dearest" jackson chuckles, pressing a kiss to the skin of marks neck. 

"i don't even know what to wear" jackson huffs a bit, gazing over at the closet. "a suit!" mark proposes, spinning around and staring up at jackson. "should i?" jackson asks, and mark nods confidently with a grin. "you'll look wonderful" he whispers, bringing a hand to cuff jacksons cheek. for the moment mark forgets about his sorrow, only ever seeming to do so when in jacksons arms.

"fine, you win" jackson laughs, unraveling from mark and making his way over to the closet. "and you don't even need to shave!" mark says, "you look fine" he adds. "do i really?" jackson asks, running his hand beneath his lip and thinking. "you're going to be late, silly" mark whispers, "you look fine, trust me!" he says. 

"i trust you, beautiful" jackson says, leaning in and pressing a kiss to marks cheek. "good" mark giggles with a smile, jackson looks at the watch around his wrist and kisses marks cheek once more. "i have to hurry" jackson murmurs, and mark only rolls his eyes, "yeah, yeah" he says, shoving jackson towards the bathroom gently.

mark takes seat on the bed, and picks up one of the books from the nightstand. it was a fantasy based book jackson had bought for him, as mark opens the pages and spins through them. settling on the page of the first chapter, and laying down back against the bed. he reads upon the book, whilst jackson rushes to get dressed and ready. maybe ten to fifteen minutes later jackson emerges from the bathroom and back into the bedroom.

"how do i look?" he asks mark, lining his suit jacket. his hickory, dark-brown hair slicked back, while shaved on the sides. his tan skin fits perfectly with the black suit. a white button up tucked beneath his black slacks, and the pairing suit jacket pulled over his shoulders and arms. "perfect" mark smiles, and jackson trails over to the bed. 

"i love you" he says, "i should be back in a few hours" he adds. mark nods, and allows jackson to press a kiss against his lips. "i love you too" mark whispers against jacksons skin, "be safe" he says as jackson breaks away and picks up his keys. continuing to read the book, as jackson made his way from the apartment and he heard the front door open and then close.


	60. Chapter 60

hard drops of rain fell from the sky as jackson made his way up to the apartment building. thunder rumbles across the darkened clouds as jackson finally steps into the first door. letting out a deep exhale, and making his way up the stairs towards their apartment. he cracks his neck as he unlocks the door and steps inside. 

"mark?" he calls gently, receiving no response. he can tell mark had been in the living room, as the book he was reading was placed half open and upside-down upon the couch. he rids himself of his suit jacket, "mark?" he calls out once more. jackson presumes mark to be asleep, making his way down the hallway when he notices the bathroom door ajar. light floods out of it into the darkened hallway, and jackson cocks his head to the side a bit.

after a moments hesitation, jackson makes his way over to the bathroom door. pushing it open with a shaky palm, as his lips part a bit when hes hit with the metallic stench. after a moment his stomach churns, and he finally brings himself to bring his gaze up towards the bathtub. he can see his lovers tiny, frail wrist hung over the edge of the tub. crimson drops dripping onto the once pristine white tile of the bathroom floor.

marks body, submerged with water that was overflowing from the tub. some falling onto the floor, mixing with the crimson. his dark lashes are fluttered shut, and a shaving razor is laying upon the edge of the bathtub. lathered with scarlet upon the edges of it. jackson lets out an exhale, barely able to bring himself to look at marks face. how he looked at peace, almost as if he was sleeping. and jackson wishes he was, wishes it was a dream as he takes his first step into the bathroom.

he gazes out the window, rain still pouring down harshly and trickling against the window. it was almost as if the skies were weeping to. jackson is sure the source of the blood is from marks pouring wrists, blood flowing from them as the water flowed from the sky. "w-wake up" jackson murmurs to himself, "baby wake up" he says as he stutters out a sob. he quickly trails over to the bathtub, slipping his shoes off in the process.

he doesnt care if his clothes become soaked, as he steps into the tub. water flooding out from it as he stepped into. taking marks body into his arms, searching anywhere for a sign of breath or pulse. "wake up, please wake up" he says, marks frail body going limp in his arms. his soaked, bleach blond hair clinging to the skin of his forehead. jackson shakes his head, as he hears the calling of a bird outside the window. 

its wings flying through the rain, as jackson recalls mark saying if he could fly. he would leave all this far behind him, and soar up into the sky. how sorrowful it was that the sky was drenched of blue, and his lovers wrist were dread of crimson. jackson rocks mark back and forth a bit, clinging onto his porcelain skin.

"please wake up" he whispers once more, letting out a sorrowful chuckle to himself. he brings his gaze up just enough, seeing the razor that lay atop the edge of the tub. his hand trembles violently as he reaches out for it, holding mark still with one arm. he gazes back down at his lover, and then to the razor between his fingertips. 

"we will fly" he says, tracing his fingertips across the skin of marks cheeks. nodding with an exhale and another sob from his lips. he rolls up the sleeve of his white button up, as he lays back against the tub. he feels relaxed for a moment, when all he could feel was numb since he entered the apartment. he feels at peace, somehow he always had when he had marks body pressed to his own. 

marks body is limply placed against his chest. the water pushing him gently up and down. jackson holds the razor in his fingertips, before he brings it to his own wrist. the metal slits his skin open with ease, at first blood struggles to pour from the wound. but moments later once the skin has ripped open, crimson drenches from his wrist. he doesn't feel the pain of it, as hes all to numb. marks body is still against his chest, jackson feels himself growing weaker, and weaker. unable to stop himself from slowly slipping beneath the water, and becoming submerged along with marks body. rain drips down against the window, as the bathtub became consumed, 

 

with the blood, of two ended hurricanes.


End file.
